Year 2, Day 30: One Month Down

Did I already say the next time I start a diet with a blog I'll start it at the beginning of the month? Just because of the ways the days fell, I started this diet on Monday, February 28th 2005. So the second day was a leap year day, and it's all been farshmoozled since, when it comes to record keeping. No matter, I don't let that phase me. I will try and get weighed tomorrow or Monday (I'm taking Friday off from work). We'll see whether or not I've stayed the course, gone up, gone down. There's no doubt that I have more energy, I can wear all of my clothes, and don't suffer dire bouts of self-loathing. But it's always important to visit with Detecto, now less my adversary than ever. For the most part I stay on the straight and narrow path, but occasionally the urge for 5 heaping handfuls of Strawberry Vanilla Yogurt Cheerios can be so debilitating.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean!
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
18 oz. Coffee (2/3 decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($4.82)
Red leaf, red pepper, red onion
broccoli, feta cheese, olives
chicken, chick peas

Dinner
2 strips Jennie-O Turkey Bacon
3 Eggs (1 broke) over easy
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Ephemera (less than a bite each)
scrambled egg
chocolate cookie
carmel rice cake

You might be wondering, "how can he continue to eat that 50% reduced fat cheese?" The truth is that for a while I started eating a cheese– Cracker Barrel individuals– that Emily keeps for snacks, which are not low fat. After eating a bunch of those, the reduced fat cheese tastes like a milky version of styrofoam. But I find that if you eat only reduced fat cheese, you really don't notice it. That isn't saying much about reduced fat cheese, and if you ate that all the time, you wouldn't say much about it either.

Year 2, Day 29: Cashews are From Venus, Pistachios from Mars

The whole thing about nuts is what they always said about potato chips. "You can't eat just one." And it's true. The whole thing about nuts is that they are so small, yet they deliver a delicious helping of protein and essential vitamins (A and E), minerals like phosphorous and potassium, and fiber. But they're so SMALL, that it's hard to moderate how many you should have. Of course, they're also loaded with fat and oils so they're 'dietbusters' if you can't keep your hand out of the nut-jar. The problem is that there's been a jar of pistachios in the conference room, and just like the chocolate, when you're staring at it for a half hour it requires super-human resistance to avoid the temptation. Though I must pat myself on the back for the occasional bout of super-human temptation resistance, this day didn't feature any of it.

Breakfast
5 Slices of Ham
1 Slice of Balthazar Rye
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack-z
25 Pistachios
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($6.01)
Red leaf, red pepper, red onion
broccoli, feta cheese, olives
chicken

Dinner
Emily's Crispy Turkey (made with Whole Wheat breadcrumbs)
Emily's Leek-y Flounder
Peppadews

Etc.
3 Bites of Ruby's Healthy Choice Pop
3 pieces of pineapple

Fortunately, I did get through the day without any oatmeal cookies, and the transgressions were minor, though still troubling as they came after dinner, when metabolism is low. I do need to eat a snack during the 3:00pm hour, because otherwise I come home famished and eat more dinner than I should. I thought I would do it today, but honestly I'm not REALLY hungry until like 5:00pm and that feels like a stupid time to be eating a snack. But I guess like anything, it takes a lot of work to understand one's own self.

Year 2, Day 28: Slip Slidin' Away

"Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you're slip sliding away" - Paul Simon

I was thinking about this song today as I desperately struggled to keep some of the eating under control. Between the pistachios, the pita bread for lunch, and the bread and oatmeal cookie for dinner, I felt somewhat out of control, and not for any particular reason of note. It didn't feel good. It's been coming on for a few days. At least there was a brisk walk with the full on Domania gang today (a reunion of sorts). Even though I went to the gym yesterday, I felt compelled to step ahead of the pack to work up a sweat. Of course most of that benefit is wiped away 40 pistachios later.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean!
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)
40 Pistachios

Lunch: Peter's Kitchen
Salad with Grilled Chicken
1 Slice Pita

Dinner
1 Slice Balthazar Rye Bread (just arrived)
Breast of Chicken
Sauteed Spinach with Garlic
Peppadews

Etc.
1 Oatmeal Cookie (Fed to me by Magnolia; but I ate it)

In this blog I have traditionally discussed way of eating and meals with loving remembrance, and a healthy dose of remorse. In my life I have picked up a lot of bad eating habits from my family and friends, but mostly developed quite a few on my own. Eating an oatmeal cookie tonight reminded me of my father, as he used to love dipping oatmeal cookies into coffee, which is something I used to beg him to do for me, because the hot coffee made the cookies soaking wet and warm and it was like they were coming out of the oven. You also had to eat them quickly because they wouldn't really hold together for too long. You could take a minute, but after that it was broke-back cookie. Also it wasn't like coffee today (very strong). Coffee was very weak back then, so it didn't really have an acrid taste that might make a kid recoil in horror. At least a few times he had to pour me my own cup because I was essentially ruining the coffee drinking experience, if I remember it correctly. I think for a long time I did take up eating cookies by dipping them into some hot beverage, before I realized you could eat a lot more cookies if you could skip the dipping step. By this time in 2004, a few months before my gall bladder surgery, I was probably eating about a quarter to a half a bag of ginger snap cookies a night. Seriously. I had read somewhere that ginger was good for an ailing gall bladder. I am certain it said nothing about cookies, but they made me feel better. When you think about that I was going through two or three bags of cookies a week, it's really just disgraceful, but amazingly, eating one cookie tonight made me feel like that all over again.


"And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done
He came a long way just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and headed home again

Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you're slip sliding away"

Year 2, Day 27: Another Triathalon

Today, aside from doing 5 miles at the gym (4.5 elliptical, half a mile around the track), I went for a two-hour ice-skate with Ruby. (Okay, we took off twenty minutes for the Zamboni, which she calls 'the machine' and a few breaks just for the hell of it). Naturally, when we got home, she wanted to ride her bike. Don't these kids ever get tired? It ended when she insisted on playing some five year old's version of chicken and crashed into me. We fell quite a bit on the ice too, which was too bad since like a bad father I forgot to bring her gloves. She said she wants to take ice skating lessons. I keep forgetting that there are cheaper sports...

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
3 oz. Jalapeno Cheddar (50%)
Tea

Snack
Coffee with Unsweetened Soy Milk
4 Handfuls of Cheerios (I'd approximate 1 cup)

Lunch
Omelet with Broccoli and 50% Cheddar and Avocado
2 small slices Balthazar bread with butter
Red leaf salad with feta
3 tlbs super chunky peanut butter
1 prune

Skating Snack
popcorn

Dinner
Emily's Tilapia
Celery, Sprouts, Cabbage

Today at the gym I noticed a woman in front of me on the treadmill. She looked somewhat like a bad version of Edie Falco (from the Sopranos) but was dressed in a leopard skin top. She was doing some kind of hopping on the treadmill that recalled either a leprechaun doing a heel-toe dance or of Gepetto's puppets. It was the most incongruous treadmill behavior I have ever witnessed. She was doing this for all of 28 seconds when she started rubbing her neck. Then she calmed down, which was good, because she was distracting me. Also, CNN continues to be demotivational, especially when it's played on both television sets and there isn't much else to look at at the gym. That may be why the video iPod is the answer. More on that later.

Year 2, Day 26: The Show Must Go On

Day of the big show. Since the day involved food, I'm sure I was over all kinds of calorie counts and what have you. Part of the problem was having to be there at 12:30 so not wanting to have a big lunch thing, I just had a yogurt with peanut butter and a banana (and a few fistfuls of cheerios) and skeedaddled to the school. When I got there I did well turning down samosas and other carby but internationally delicious items. But a after an hour or so, one of the show's producers determined that we were going to eat the offering of one particular restaurant because it was 'too small to offer to the public.' They begged me to join them in the Japanese Steak House faire. I was hungry, and so I partook. Does performing as an emcee count as burning calories?

Breakfast
4 slices of Ham
1 slice Balthazar Bread
3 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Snack
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
1/2 Banana
3 Tlpbspns Super Chunky Peanut Butter
3 Handful Strawberry Yogurt Burst Cheerios

@ The Event
3 Pineapple Chunks
3 Canteloupe Chunks
2 Gyoza
2 Japanese Fried Chicken Chunks
Edamame
1 Shumai
4 "Stung Drummies"
2 Small Slices of Cheese
1 Bite of Strawberry Rhubarb pie

Dinner
Steak Tips
Broccoli
Peppadews

1 Glass Yellow Tail Shiraz + Cabernet

1 Spoonful of Soy Delicioius Chocolate

I suppose the event was a success because all the seats were taken, most all of the food was eaten, and pretty much everyone, including the performers had a good time. I certainly had a good time. In retrospect, it's kind of funny to have an event with entree-style food at 3pm in the afternoon. I think if you think of the event as one really big lunch I guess it's not so bad. Fortunately, I will be at the gym tomorrow, and if my luck holds out, ice skating with Ruby. My mother was in NYC helping me stock up on Balthazar bread, thanks Mom!

Year 2, Day 25: Night Before the Show

Today I felt good enough to go back to Jalapeno cheddar. I also realized I've got to get the snacks back under control. It was getting to a high level of snacking towards the end of the year that was probably close to violating your basic SoBe diet rules. Going back to phase one was important, and now I have to find the right balance. It seems that if I don't have a snack in the later part of the day, I get so hungry that dinner becomes a many-faceted thing, including the equivalent of an appetizer and a dessert (usually cheese).

Breakfast
2 Eggs, Not quite hard-boiled,
Balthazar Bread
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
Coffee

Lunch: Russo's (Can't give you the $ amount as lunch was expensed)
Red leaf, red onion, red pepper
chicken, feta, olives
broccoli, chick peas

Dinner:
1 RyVita Cracker
4 Slices of Cheese
Two slices of Turkey
Cheese of one slice of pizza
Handful of Nuts
Beef Stew
Black Beans

Tonight was dress rehearsal for the Cultural Event tomorrow at the School for which I am the Emcee. When asked initially, I declined, but when I thought about it I realized it made sense for me to do it. For starters, I CAN do it, and secondly, since I was going to go anyway, why should I have to sit through someone else emcee-ing? I wasn't nervous tonight, but I will be tomorrow.

Year 2, Day 24: Sooooo Hungry

I am not quite 100% percent yet. You know that feeling you have that tells you that your body is not quite 'all ready' yet? I am hearing that voice loud and clear. For this reason, I am avoiding the Jalapeno Cheddar and warily dispensing of the ham. It may have had nothing to do with my condition, but I can't go back just yet.

Breakfast
1 Handful of Strawberry Yogurt Burst Cheerios
2 Eggs, Balthazar Bread
Tea

Snack
Coffee
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
with Splenda
25 Cashews

Lunch
Spicy Green Beans with Chicken

Dinner
1 Slice of Turkey
2 Slices of Cracker Barrel Cheese
Lamb Choplets
Jane's Vegetable Medley (Cabbage, Carrots, Bok Choy)

For some reason though, I am sooo hungry today, which may be because 1) It is Spring; 2) Because I am feeling better or 3) The more you eat the hungrier you get. It could be the increased amount of sugar in today's diet— Cheerios in the AM and Chinese Food for lunch. I'm not sure which, but after dinner I was as hungry as a SoBe dieter on Week One. If I didn't have more control I would have raided the fridge or cabinet for something, anything to put in my mouth. As it was I plied myself sorrowfully with water and just endured.

Year 2, Day 23: Rejection and Dejection

...or Thank God for Susan Lucci. Today I found out (the hard way) that my play had not been accepted for a local playwriting contest. I usually get the rejection letter in the mail, but I was fed up with waiting so I went to check the Web site and lo and behold, the list of plays was there—minus mine. I may have lost count, but I think this may have been my seventh attempt. I think maybe I need to 'get the message.' Saddened and depressed, I turned to the box of strawberry yogurt cheerios and had four handfuls that I stuffed in my mouth, like the first monster in Ghostbusters. It temporarily made me feel better.

Breakfast
2 nearly hard boiled eggs
2 small slices balthazar bread
tea

Snack
tea with honey
1 small banana

Lunch: Peter's
Greek Salad with Chicken and Feta

Afternoon Ephemera
6 oz. plain yogurt
3 tablespoons super chunky peanut butter
3 bugles

Dinner
Brown Rice,
Chicken
Cabbage and Sprouts

This morning I was not up to one of my usual breakfasts so I thought I'd go with eggs and toast, which while it was always a favorite breakfast of mine, is one I have not eaten a lot of since I started the diet. I would usually eat either eggs or toast, but not both together. But I tell you, they are great together. At lunch I was quite hungry and when I got home early from work (so Emily could take Ruby to her swim lesson) I was starving. As with my last illness, I thought I would be less hungry forever, but as today proved, that was not the case.

Year 2, Day 22: Recovering the Satelites

Felt not quite normal but better today. I finished my measly half a salad as a biological requirement but my eyes widened at the prospect of the bagel.

Breakfast
1/2 Pink Lady Apple
Tea

Snack
Tea with Honey

Lunch
Whole Wheat Everything Bagel
Other Half of the Russo's Salad from Yesterday

Dinner
Chicken
Brown Rice
Bok Choy & Celery

Emily made a great 'sick' dinner for me that was so good I probably ate more than I should have.

Year 2, Day 21: Mysterious Ailment

I don't know what came over me but something wasn't right from the moment I had breakfast (must look into that). By 3pm I was a wreck, I had to go home and flop into bed. Flop, flop, flop.

Breakfast
4 Slices Ham
1 Slice Balthazar Bread
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($3.98)
Red Leaf, Red Onion, Red Pepper
Chicken, Chick Peas, Feta, Broccoli

Dinner:
5 Prunes

I got the salad in the hope that I'd be hungry but I had no appetite at all. I ate about half of it and decided that was it. As a 40-year old man, I was bound to try prunes as a solution, though I'm not sure it had anything to do with what was wrong with me, most likely a kidneystone or something. They do taste good, though.

Year 2, Day 20: Skating a Sweat

Though Ruby had a choice between the "Barbie Show" at the Benneton store at the Mall or the rather unglamorous ice skating at the local rink, she chose ice skating. Having already been to the gym this day, I was fully limbered up and ready to go. We set out for adventure. Last Saturday we had gone ice skating as part of a school event, but it started at 7pm and by 8pm we were all ready to thrown in the very cold towel. This time public skating opened at 2pm and we were there. We skated the whole two hours with just a 10 minute break for the zamboni man and a few breaks for cookies and popcorn. Ruby never gave up, even when I told her that her "old man was tired." After five miles at the JCC (4.5 miles on the elliptical and 6 times around the track); it was a good day from an exercise perspective, which is good because I was eating like my hair was on fire.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean!
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Pre-Gym Snack
Coffee with U.S.M.
1 crust of Challah with Super Chunky Peanut Butter
(And admittedly some french toast with syrup)
1/2 oz Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch:
Emily's Char
Big Green Salad with Sprouts
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
1 Flavi Cracker

Skating Rink Snack:
1 Popcorn

Dinner
Chicken Breast
Emily's Crazy Cabbage
1 small piece of Corned Beef

Finale
A banana (That Mangolia fooled me into opening when she had little interest in eating the whole thing)

I have been just super hungry lately. Stress, anxiety, the coming of the spring, the lengthening of the day, who knows— but the evenings have been particularly trying. It could be because I'm due to MC a show this weekend and have been remiss in preparing for it. But for those who know me, that's to be expected. I've always been a sort of last-minute guy.

Year 2, Day 19: Carnival of Cheese

Today Ruby and I went to a Carnival at a local church. It wasn't much different than I expected, but Ruby and I did split a cone of popcorn while we were shuffling through the mad hordes trying to play ring toss, bean bag toss, decorate the cookie and make a bracelet. I know there are harder things to do in the world, but after two hours in a windowless basement of the church, I was literally spent. I actually had to take a nap. Then afterwards it was back up and to the playroom at the mall.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
4 Slices Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Lunch:
Red Leaf Lettuce
Feta
Tuna Salad
1 Cracker
3 oz. 50% Reduced Cheddar (Not Jalapeno)

Mid-Day Snacking
1/2 Cone Popcorn (about 1.5 oz)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
3 Tblspns Super-Chunky Peanut Butter
1/4 cup Almonds/Cashews
1 Coke Zero
1 String Cheese

Dinner
4 Slices of Ham
2 oz. 50% Reduced Cheddar Cheese

By the time we got the kids fed and in bed it was so late that we didn't have any energy (or much appetite) to have any dinner. Knowing that I should eat something, I finished off the ham and that was it. Though it was a fairly anticlimactic way to end the day (we were originally going to get take out from Pho Pasteur); it was better than eating a big meal I didn't want or need. Sadly, I used to do just that all the time in the past, and especially on Saturday nights.

Year 2, Day 18: The End of the World as We Know It

Mostly, I felt fortunate to grow up when I did. During my time, Educational programming such as Sesame Street, Car Seats and other things that theoretically promoted better childhoods came into being. However there is one thing I noted when I was leaving my childhood that I sensed was a harbinger of the end of the world. It was Cookie Crisp cereal. Now no one disagrees that most cereals aimed at kids were sugar-laden garbage. Why two of my favorite cereals growing up actually had Sugar in their names— Sugar Pops (renamed Corn Pops) and and Sugar Smacks (renamed Honey Smacks). But at least all of those cereals started out with something that kids regarded as healthful enough to disdain— wheat puffs, corn, or rice. But with Cookie Crisps, they abandoned even the premise that breakfast should be nutricious. I mean, if you think about it, you should be incensed! The cereal company is actually trying to say "forget the compromise you're already making by letting your kid have empty calories, white sugar and white flour for breakfast! Just encourage the worst possible eating habits—dessert for breakfast! As kids, you WANT dessert for breakfast, but you NEVER EXPECTED YOUR PARENTS TO GIVE IT TO YOU. Tragically, this decision was followed shortly by other no-account cereal companies that introduced "Reeses Puffs", "Ore-Os" and yes, "Dunkin Donuts Cereal" (in Chocolate and Glazed). There are more offensive cereals now on the market, but I only have so much time. Interestingly, the floodgates of the worst cereals hit the market around 1987—when a Republican president had been in office for seven years. And you thought it couldn't get any worse.


Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened soy milk
Tea

Snack
25 Cashews

Lunch:
Sirloin Tips
Cherry Peppers
Salad

Dinner
Shrimp du Emily
Green Beans
1 oz. Cracker Barrel Cheese
1 cracker

Efluvia
50% of a blood orange

No walk today, it was quite nippy. I hoped I could get away from the office early, but I ended up leaving just before five. It was all in all a fairly predictable day, except for a meatTASTIC lunch.

Year 2, Day 17: Warburton's and Bagels

One of the things that I used to eat quite frequently was a corn muffin. More often that not, it was my muffin of choice. And of course, I thought I was being 'good.' Knowing what I know now, about both corn AND muffins I realize that that was just uneducated foolishness. But even at Magnolia's birth I remember getting a corn muffin at the Au Bon Pain in the ground floor of the hospital. I love their corn muffins; they have real corn in them (which of course makes them even higher on the glycemic scale). About 20 years ago when I used to work downtown, I used to stop at the Warburtons outside Government Center and get their incredible corn muffins, whose crispy on the outside (but moist inside) tops were two to three times the circumference of a normal muffin. Warburton's had taken over from a small coffee shop that had inhabited the place and inherited the 227 gallon capacity steaming kettle (it is fed steam continuously from the building's boiler room) that sits outside it. It was a real city landmark. Lamentably, it's been taken over, as has everything, by a Starbucks, whose sub-par quality baked goods are as curious as the long wait for service at 3 in the afternoon...

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
4 Slices Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack-Um
1/2 Whole Wheat "Everything" Bagel
with Light Cream Cheese
12 oz coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($5.41)
Red lettuce, red leaf, red onion
broccoli, celery, scallions
chicken, feta, oil & vinegar

Dinner
Turkey Breast
Asparagus
Broccoli & Peppadews
Cabbage

During a three hour meeting today, I must admit I found myself hypnotized by the aroma of fresh bagels that a co-worker had brought for the meeting. As she is of like wants and healthy concerns, she got whole wheat bagels as well as regular. At the two hour mark, locked in the room with six people and eight bagels, I caved. I had half a whole wheat bagel, which I haven't done in the longest time. It was good. I felt as though I looked like one of those people having a sensual moment with a peppermint patty, or more recently, whatever that shampoo commercial was. I thought by eating a big breakfast I wouldn't be tempted, but I guess the lesson is: you'll always be tempted, it resisting temptation that's the trick.

Year 2, Day 16: The 36's Don't Fit

All dieters know that no matter what the scale says, the real test is: how do your clothes fit? You have pants and or shirts that are tight; you have favorite clothes that you don't want to admit you can't wear anymore. There are the bellwether clothes— sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't. For a while there I was buying 40-waist(ed) pants. That's not necessarily a good thing. I still had a lot of 38's and I was often proud to be able to wear them. 38 sounded good. It was my age, it was my waist size. When after about a year on the South Beach diet the 38's didn't fit me, I was very very glad. I never thought I would really be a 36. I probably haven't been a 36 for 15 or 20 years. A few months ago, both Emily and I realized that the new 38s we bought when I hit my goal last July were too big. Yesterday, she bought me a pair of 36 Gap Shorts. Now admittedly, GAP clothes look fantastic on thin people, but I find are fitted for the slightly heavy— they are roomier than most. We couldn't believe it—they were WAY TOO BIG. Now that's just one pair of GAP shorts, but that was really a milestone. The 36's didn't fit, they were too big.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 Cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
1 Medium Dunkin Donuts (1/2 decaf)

Lunch: Russos ($6.41)
Red leaf, red lettuce, red onion
chicken, olives, feta, broccoli
scallions, celery, oil & vinegar

Dinner
Ham, Swiss and Broccoli Omelet
Asparagus

Accidental Other Things Eaten in the Service of Feeding Children:
1 saltine with peanut butter
1 or 2 bites of a strawberry popsicle
a few cheerios

Caffeine is something that supposedly jacks up your insulin levels, which has the effect, when the levels decline, of making you need something to raise your blood sugar levels. This can often be ready by the body as hunger, and possibly, as a result of today's coffee I was ravenously hungry by 11:30AM. When I got to Russo's there was (predictably) no chicken. Of course I sought out Carlos, who was in fact a tall Brazilian behind the rotisserie counter, who barked his Portuguese disapproval out loud, causing someone to come out from nowhere with a plateful of newly cooked chicken. This in turn, led to swarming, bringing out my hoarding behavior (at least five pieces of chicken) leading to a six dollar salad. Instead of leaving over the forty-one cents, I finished it. But at least the 36's don't fit. That counts for something, maybe a whole piece of chicken.

Year 2, Day 15: Where Does Dinner Start/End?

People not on a diet never think twice about grabbing a handful of something that's being made in the kitchen, like a few bites of cucumber, a spear of chicken satay, possibly a slice of bread, or something like that. For me, I must be cognizant all the time of what I put in my mouth. I am very much used to eating, not just emotionally, but almost as a reflex. I caught myself today, just wanting to eat around 4:30 but NOT REALLY BEING HUNGRY. It's so hard to resist, especially if you've been working all day, or under pressure, or just trying to forget how badly you need a haircut. As I was walking out (past the sea of snacks) I did have about a quarter cup of cashews. That was a weakness, but it helped keep my sugar up till I got home.

Breakfast
5 Slices Ham
1 Slice of Balthazar Bread plus one very small heel
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1/4 cup cashews

Lunch
Grilled Chicken on Salad with Feta

Dinner
SIrloin Tips
Asparagus
2 Slices of Cheese

Went for a walk with the gang (well 2 of them) today. It was a day where no one could decide whether to wear a coat or not, as it was nearing 60 degrees but threatening to rain. I took mine, and they didn't. I suspect we both had regrets but it was a very fast walk. We were all missing summer just a bit today. We are fortunate to have gotten the walk in, as the forecast is calling for snow later in the week. I went to a new place in the Square and had the same ol' salad, which though it tasted much better, still would have weighed in at way over six dollars at Russos. As it was, it cost $6.75. That's a lot for a salad, don't you think?

Year 2, Day 14: The Bread is Back in Town

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time then you know that my mom is a VERY big supporter of the program. She teaches in NYC at a university that is only 10 minutes away from the REAL Balthazar. Naturally, she felt the need to check it out for herself, but knowing that our supply had run out, she volunteered to send reinforcements. It came today by FedEx and no sooner had it arrived then everybody was munching on some. Magnolia had nearly three slices (but in an act of fatherly support, I ate all the crusts). Man, that's good. It's just better than all other bread I've ever had. Sounds hyperbolic, but it's true. It's both true and hyperbolic.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Kashi Puffs
3/4 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1/4 Cashews, Pistachios

Lunch: Sushi 21
Salad
Miso Soup
Chicken Teriyaki

Dinner: Blue Ribbon BBQ
Burnt Ends
1 Rib
Salad

Afterwards:
1 small slice Balthazar Bread with Butter

And what butter! I don't eat very much butter, except for that which is used to prepare my food by people who don't consult with me (such as restaurants, or my wife). It reminds me how (cue music: My Favorite Things) my favorite part of a restaurant visit would be the bread-n-butter course. There are lots of great restaurants that do this, but consistently yummy was Legal Seafoods. We used to go roll-crazy there. Fresh, hot, white rolls, crispy on the outside and soft but chewy on the inside. I often would continue to order more rolls throughout dinner. Rolls, like rice, are very important to soak things up on your plate. When you give up rolls and rice, it means you're committing to leftover pools of food-sauce on your plate. It's really just that simple.

Year 2, Day 13: Sunday Brunch at the Blue Room

One of my very favorite places in the world to go for Brunch was the Blue Room, in Kendall Square, Massachusetts. Though there a lot of all-you-eat-brunches in the Boston area, this was was of an especially high quality. Things like real sausages, challah french toast and incredible side-salads were so delicious that you couldn't help but eat irresponsibly when there. Often we would have a savory visit to the line (endless buffet of five-star entrees) and a sweet one. Did I mention smoked meats? Dessert? Coffee? They had it all. Perhaps the only down side to hog-heaven there was that it was located below ground, so upon leaving, full, or bursting at the seams as I often was, you would have to mount the steep stairs to the street. Walking up stairs a problem? I realize it sounds petty, but after two hours of chowing down, you would have found it hard, too.
I think of that restaurant often on a rainy Sunday morning as this was. I have no complaints about eating the way I do now. But every now and again I like to remember when there were no boundaries. Aside from artery-clogging of course, eating like that saps your energy for the rest of the day; a nap and/or lounging around with the paper was about all we could muster. Laundry was simply UNTHINKABLE.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2.5 Strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Pre-Gym Snack
6 oz. plain yogurt
3 tablespoons super-chunky peanut butter
small pieces of banana that Magnolia didn't eat
some tiny crusts of french toast that Magnolia didn't eat
a few asparagus
a few peppers
1 oz. cracker barrel cheese
1 oz. jarlsburg
1/2 oz boston lite popcorn
Some bites of a pink lady apple

Lunch
Hamburger
Peppadews
Greek Salad with cabbage, feta

Dinner
Steak Tips
Broccoli
Emily's Sweet Peppers
Glass Yellow Tail

Etc.
4 Squares Burdick Dark Chocolate


Went four miles on the elliptical today and then another half mile around the track. I like the track; it's the one thing that when the music is good, it really just sails by. It helps to be able to watch people playing basketball, climbing rocks or what have you down in the gym. When I got home I was so hungry. At the gym, two televisions were on, one on Project Runway repeats and one on CNN. I must say that CNN is the most de-motivational thing to watch at the gym. It is simply contrary, on a psychological level to every message you are trying to believe at the gym. Messages such as "I am important", "I can make a difference" "I can achieve things" get totally squashed when you realize all the horrible things we are doing to the world, the atmosphere, and each other. How I keep from eating myself back to the jaws-of-life size I don't know.

Year 2, Day 12: Ice-capades

There was some definite good movement today, though hard to qualify it as exercise. This morning Ruby and I went on a playdate where we went on a walk for about a mile following a trip to a farm stand. I had only had breakfast and though I had purchased a salad at said farm stand I had no idea how far we'd be walking before we consumed it. I was caught unawares for Ruby, too, as her lunch consisted of blackberries, raspberries, cantaloupe and a whoopie pie. When I got home I had a power-snack and then it was dinner and off to the Ice skating party.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2.5 Strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
1 Joy Stick
4 Slices of Ham
2.5 oz. Cracker Barrel Cheddar Slices
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
3 Tablespoons Super Chunky Peanut Butter

Lunch
Greek Salad
Blackberries, Raspberries

Dinner:
Steak Tips
Broccoli
Peppadews

It was the first time I had put ice skates on my feet since probably 1982, when I used to go to Parkwood, the pool facility in my hometown on Long Island that doubled as an ice skating rink in winter. I spent a lot of time ice-skating, but probably even more time eating hot dogs, french fries and hot chocolate from the makeshift grill that operated out of the glorified, rubber-matted changing room. Fortunately, Ruby wasn't much faster than I was. I didn't have to hold on to the railing for dear life as she did, but I didn't quite have my ice-legs either. About five minutes after we had gotten on the ice, they blew the whistle for everyone to get off for the zamboni. Unfortunately, Ruby and I took another 8 minutes to wend our way off the ice. I think we're both ready to go back next week.

Year 2, Day 11: The Greatest Smell in the World

You may argue that it's popcorn at a movie theatre, or coffee at a coffee shop, or fresh baked goods at a bakery, and those are all powerful, aromatic stimulants that can make you glad to be alive. But today on a Domania walk (with just one other) I caught my absolute and sentimental favorite, which is french fries in the 'just a bit like summer' warm air. I don't know why, but it was a smell, you might say Proustian, that takes me back, not to some specific event, but to something universally appealing about being a child. Possibly the map to the brain's synapse that says "we're going to eat french fries." The conflated memory of a thousand carnivals, hot dog stands, beach huts. The smell of your food—french fries—being ready. It was hypnotic, and just at the beginning of my walk, it carried me all the way around the river, and perhaps, through some windy cavern of my mind, much farther.

Breakfast
2 Slices Iggy's Whole Wheat Sour Dough Bread
4 slices ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)
60 Pistachios
A handful of Cashews

Lunch: Leftovers
Emily's Lettuce Wrraps/Ground Turkey
Cold Thai Cabbage Stir Fry

Dinner
2 Glasses Yellow Tail Cabernet/Merlot
Mahi-Mahi
Asparagus

Dessert!
6 Squares, Burdick's Dark Chocolate

First, I must tell you about the disappointing bread product from Iggy's. Mostly, their bagels and white breads are FANTASTIC, but this whole wheat bread was just a sorrowful come down from the enthusiastic joy that is Balthazar. It gives a deeply grieving sensation that Balthazar is made with crack cocaine, molasses, or possibly 'ether of wood rosin' (LIKE FRESCA) or something that I shouldn't be eating. It's that good.

Update on Russo's: I spoke to Phil de Parma (that can't be his real name, but that's what they told me). He apologized for the lack of chicken saying the staff had been 'crushed by a lot of other business.' Though this is hardly a satisfying, or some would say credible excuse, I accepted it when he told me I could go to "Carlos" his right-hand chicken man should I note an empty tray. Reports from the field today indicate the chicken issue has been resolved. I thought you'd like to know.

Year 2, Day 10: Down in the Dumpy

There's a song from "Free to Be You and Me" called "It's All Right to Cry" sung by Rosie Grier and the lyrics in the middle go "Sad and grumpy, down in the dumpy." That's just the way I felt tonight.

Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 Ezekiel 4.9
3/4 Cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea (Twinings Darjeeling)

Snack
Coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($5.13)
Red Leaf, Red pepper, red onion
feta, chick peans, broccoli
3 lonely pieces of chicken, oil & vinegar, olives
1/4 cup Cashews

Dinner
Emily' Lettuce Wraps with Ground Turkey
Thai Cabbage Stir-Fry

I continue to have problems at Russo's. Four out of five times I have gone to their salad bar there has been a 'chicken problem.' I don't why it is, but I am going to find out. I will report back to you.

Year 2, Day 9: Anxiety Eating

Does anyone doubt that anxiety causes bad feelings, and bad feelings leads to emotional eating? Furthermore that emotional eating leads to bad feelings, which can cause anxiety, and so on? It's a bad cycle to get into and today I was deep into it. It started with some yogurt, but by nightfall I was cravenly consuming the Burdick's dark chocolate bar.

Breakfast
4 Slices of Ham
2 small slices Balthazar bread (down to my last few slices)...
2.5 oz. 50% jalapeno cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tablespoons Super Chunky Peanut Butter
1/2 pak Splenda

Lunch: Russo's Salad: $5.13
Red Leaf, Red Lettuce, Red Peppers
Olives, Feta, Chicken, Broccoli
Oil & Vinegar

Dinner
Steel Head Trout
Emily's Crazy Broccoli, Cauliflower and Celery

Dessert
6 squares Burdick's dark, sugar free chocolate

A much older boy on Ruby's school bus teased her about her hair today, causing me to surf a huge bummer, as even I knew that hair was not good when I sent her out today. However, she is like a bucking bronco when anyone tries to get near her hair so sometimes we fight and sometimes I just let it slide. Though it's not the biggest deal in the world, it added to my already heavy demeanor and I couldn't shake it for most of the night. Tomorrow we're calling in the Marines (mom is doing hair) and I'll have a word with the boy. But tonight I had to make do with the dark chocolate, as all the milk chocolate with almonds was gone (and a good thing, too).

Year 2, Day 8—Cashews: A Love Story

CLOSE UP
Jar of freshly opened, plump, oven-roasted, salty cashews

CUT TO:
Robert's Eyes

SLOW PAN BACK TO CASHEWS, THEN:

Robert, trying not to look

CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC

ROBERT:
I wish I could quit you! (He slams his fist on the table in anger)

* * * *

Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 Ezekiel 4.9
3/4 Cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea (Twinings Darjeeling)

Snack
Coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Wonton Kitchen
Beef & Broccoli
House Special Egg Drop Soup (Chicken, Tofu, Shrimp)

Dinner:
Emily's Wheat-Flour Dredged Chicken
Crazy Broccoli, Cauliflower and Celery Stir-Fry

Today I returned to no snacks in between meals and it was good. But aside from the close call with cashews, there was a love song to pistachios:

Pistachios (to the tune of Julia by the Beatles)
Half of what I say is meaningless
but I say it just to reach you
pistachios

Pistachio
salted, calls me....

Year 2, Day 7— Nutsaster

Okay it happened. Just a little bit of anxiety over a few live servers gone haywire and I was reaching for the nuts like crazy. 70 Pistachios, and about 30 Cashews later, I was in shambles, and so was my commitment to stay snack-free. When I came home I tried to make up for it by having a 'lite' dinner, but the damage was done.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Bread
4 Slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snackz
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
70 Pistachios
30 Cashews

Lunch: Russo's ($5.65)
Red Leaf, Red pepper, red onion
feta, chick peans, broccoli
tuna, oil & vinegar, olives

Dinner:
Romaine Lettuce, Sprouts & Feta
Chicken Breast with Hot Sauce

At least I was able to keep the salad in check today. Otherwise, the less said about the day better. The problem did get fixed at the end of the day, and it was all for nut...and naut.

Year 2, Day 6—Not So Fast, Smith

I got to the gym today and did four miles, but when I got home I was ravenous. This may have led to some poor eating decisions, but at least it was a gym day.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
3 Strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
2.5 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Midmorning Pre-gym Snack
Small Banana
Coffee with Unsweetened Soy Milk

Lunch (Post Gym)
Salad with Tuna Salad and Feta
Kind Fruit and Nut Bar
2 Squares, Burdick Sugar Free Milk Chocolate and Almonds

Dinner: Blue Ribbon BBQ
Ribs
Pulled Chicken
Beets
Baked Beans
1/4 Piece of Corn Bread

If you didn't know me in the 90s, then you didn't know that Emily and I used to celebrate the Academy Awards by having people over in a pot-luck. The two things I made every time were deviled eggs and rice krispy treats. I still crave those things every Oscar night, but going to Blue Ribbon BBQ was good enough. No matter what I did tonight, I did resists the King Cake one more time (I took two pieces home for Ruby—she sure loves that King Cake).

Year 2, Day 5- Back on Horse

After a few days of skidding along the wet runaway of the South Beach Diet landing strip, I engaged the foam and got back into the groove. That isn't to say that I wasn't again tempted by the slice of King Cake I took home for Ruby (she had it for dessert lunch) because I was.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2.5 Strips Louis Rich
2.5 Oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
3 Melba Toasts
2.5 oz 2% Cracker Barrel Cheese

Lunch
90% Hamburger
Peppadews
Pickles
Emily's Stir-Fry Cabbage
Diet Coke

Dinner
Emily's Ground Turkey Lettuce Roll-Ups

A strictly by-the-South Beach book day, which was much needed. I must fight the false sense of security I got from my last run in with Detecto. I do feel some of my angst fading away, and leads me to relax. That's dangerous. I need my diet angst back. If you see it, let me know.

Year Two, Day 4— I go "Nuts" again

After skidding through the past two days, I firm up my resolve to stay 'sugar-free.' Then wouldn't you know it, a "King Cake" shows up at the office. What is a King Cake? For those not in the know, it essentially a festive coffee cake (similar to the Sarah Lee round danish ring). Though this one was not filled, they often are, but they come with a tiny little plastic baby in it. Though it arrived around 10:30AM and I was hopped up on coffee, I managed to resist it. It smelled like a perfect thing to just take a little sliver of, but I thought, "I can't skid one more time or I won't stop."

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Ezekail 4.9
3/4 cup Unsweetened Silk Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
Coffee (half decaf)
50 Pistachios
3 oz. Cashews

Lunch
Mesclun Greens with Balsamic
Goat Cheese
Sun-Dried Tomatoes
Tuna

Dinner
Emily's Tilapia
Broccoli and Cauliflower

But then a co-worker came to put pistachios in my jar (sounds like a metaphor, but it's literal). I had just at the moment been thinking if I was hungry enough to have a plain yogurt that I had in the fridge. I thought, I'll just have a few pistachios. Of course, that turned into twenty and then forty and then fifty. It was just like the old and very 'nutty' days. I thought I was safe, then I went over to speak to another co-worker and he had just cracked the new salted cashews—-oof! I had some and THEY WERE GOOD. I really had been off nuts for quite a while, and if I remember it correctly, it's because in the wrong amounts, they can be 'dietbusters.'

Year 2, Day 3: Attack of the Sweet Meats

I continue my unintentional shamefest by accidentally indulging in multiple not-so-SoBe friendly Chinese dishes. It was just one of those things that everyone goes through. First I thought, "I"ll just have one of these dumplings" or "a slice of scallion pie". Then the crispy beef came and it was like sugary like a a fruit rollup. Wow it was good. I already knew I was going to skip the chocolate tonight. When I got home I thought we were going to have fish, but instead it was more sweet meat (sirloin tips). Yikes. Really feel the need to go on a walk around the Charles River but the weather has not been cooperating.

Breakfast
1 Slice of Balthazar Bread
4 slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Chinese
2 Spicy Steamed Dumplings
Hot and Sour Soup
1 Slice Scallion Pie
Shredded Pork and Celery
Chicken and Spinach
Crispy Beef

Dinner
Sirloin Tips
Romaine Lettuce, Cabbage and Feta

The only saving grace of today of course, was that there were no snacks and no dessert. My only hope is that tomorrow will be better.

Year 2, Day 2: Chocolate=Shame

Today just felt like a big eating day. Especially after positive detecto visits, I know I have to be super on guard lest I fall into some kind of 'false security' and have the urge to eat irresponsibly. Today I had HUGE salad ($6.32) and gave dinner to the kids, which I ate some of— hot dogs and cheese. After dinner I allowed myself eight squares of Aileen's other chocolate bar, the milk-chocolate and almond sugarless bar. How to put it? It was "MIND-BLOWING." I shared a few squares with Ruby who said "Dad, this is really perfect." Emily couldn't believe it either. If you must eat sugarless chocolate, this is the best it gets. Even if you don't, it's one of the best chocolate bars I've had.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi GO LEAN
1/4 cup Ezekial 4.9
3/4 cup Unsweetened Silk/Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
Coffee (with U.S. Soy Milk)

Lunch: Russo's Salad ($6.32)
Red Leaf, Red Lettuce, Red Onion
Chick Peas, Olives, Feta
Broccoli, Chicken, Oil & Vinegar

Dinner:
1 slice Ham
Chicken Breast
Half of Magnolia's Hot Dog
Chick Peas

Dessert
8 Squares Burdick Sugarless Milk Chocolate with Almonds

Immediately after eating the chocolate, though I must say, a wave of shame-like feeling crept over me. I felt bad. I felt like "what am I doing?" I realize that it's allowed, but I guess after a long day of eating, even though there were really no snacks to speak of, I felt—I don't know, guilty. It took a little while to shake. I think I'm just not used to eating dessert, and I'm not sure I 'earned it' today. This feeling certainly requires more thinking. I'll get back to you.

Year 2: Day 1— And Away We Go....

People almost NEVER ask me for advice. Though the diet, and the blog are often topics of conversation, except with a chosen few people (you know who you are) no one really wants advice on how to eat, or to tell me what they snack on, or understand what I've come to learn. I'm only one guy, and I only have my own experience to guide me. I'm not Bob Green and most of the people I speak with are not Oprahs-in-waiting. But I digress. I thought for my first day of the new year's diet blog, I would write what I have found most valuable in the year behind me.

1. Drink lots of water.
2. Don't EVER skip meals
3. Plan on snacking
4. Make Breakfast Big—500 calories OK.
5. Don't cheat yourself; Don't cheat ON yourself.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Rye Bread
4 Slices Ham
3 oz. Jalapeno 50% Cheddar
Tea

Snack(z)
1/4 of a Banana
1/2 oz. Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch: Russo's ($5.72)
Red Leaf, Red Onion, Red Peppers
Chick Peas, Olives, Feta
Celery/Mesclun Mix
Tuna (they were out of Chicken)

Dinner
Black Angus Burgers
Sauteed Onions and Peppers
Pickle-sickles

Dessert
2 Bites of a Coconut
6 Squares of Burdick's Chocolate

When I got to Russo's today, I noted that they had no chicken in the salad bar. When I looked over at the grill, it was covered with raw chicken. This was at 12:00pm—just starting to grill the chicken! That's some bad planning on their part. I was forced to eat tuna, and compensated by getting a way bigger salad than normal. Also, tonight I tried Burdick's chocolate bar the dark kind that's sugar free. I had six squares (10 is a serving). I must say, that unlike any other dark chocolate I can remember having, I wanted MORE. So Aileen was right, it is incredible. But I'm not sure I want to work it into my routine every night. She sent a milk chocolate bar with Almonds I've yet to try, too. If you're not on a diet, I suggest you check them out: http://www.burdickchocolate.com/

Day 365: One Year—Detecto Says "188"

It seems really unbelievable that I have finally made it to one year on the South Beach Diet. From my first post (http://sobediet.blogspot.com/2005/02/first-day.html) I wondered, "will I make it?" Even more incredible than staying on the diet for a year is that I have managed to lose 38 pounds. When I started, I weighed in at 226 lbs—a pre-diabetes, pre-heart attack victim waiting to happen.

Still more incredible, is that even though I am slimmer, I have managed to keep my rather pear-like shape. Lest people think I cannot enjoy my success, let me put you at ease. I am quite proud of myself—which I confess is not a feeling I had very often prior to this project. I am proud that I set out to do something and did it. I am proud that I wrote every day for a year, something I love to do; and that in doing both, I either entertained people or inspired them, or both. Also, that for a few months I gave blog-spammers a joyful place to call home.

When I saw the scale this morning, I literally couldn't believe it. I know that I had been eating less, but when Emily asked me the other day what I thought I weighed, I guessed that I might have put on a pound. I had been sick, and really, I couldn't gauge my own weight anymore. But 188 was shocking. I still want to get to 185, though it looks like it might not be as hard as I thought it was going to be.


Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi (with a little sprinkle of Ezekiel 4.7)
3/4 unsweetened soy milk
a few strawberries
Tea

Snack
Coffee (half decaf)
1 Joy Stick
1 Cheese Stick

Lunch: The Stockyard
Sirloin Tips on Caesar Salad (this description is totally misleading)

Dinner
Trout
String Beans and Leeks a la Emily
a few pieces of dried fruit (feeding to Magnolia)
a few chick peas (emily made 'em).

Emily keeps asking what I would want to do to celebrate. Whether I want to eat some 'special food.' I realize that what I want- what my 'fantasy' is—— is to eat A LOT of food. I know it doesn't feel good, but I do miss the sensation of it. The very "Caligula of Eating" that I used to me. I don't really feel like any specific foods are off limits. Over my year I ate rolls, I ate a few bites of pizza, I ate some dessert, I ate a few french fries, a few deep-fried things and the occasional white sugary treat. I don't feel like it's necessarily a treat to have them, any more than I feel like having a cigarette now would be a 'treat.' It was poison then and it's poison now, but now I've learned to live without it. It's not that I have a uncharitable position toward the whole thing, it's just that I like feeling good, having energy, and buying new pants. Well not the last thing so much.

Lastly, as I did when I hit my first goal, I have to thank the trifecta of women who helped me to my goal— Dr. Parent (who might be giving me the swerve) who started it all; Emily, my wife who cooked up a storm and saved me, and my Mother, the constant (and sometimes lone) blog commenter who supported me throughout with love and Balthazar bread.

And of course, you, if you're reading this now, thanks. It helps so much to have an audience, you wouldn't believe it.

Day 364: Birthday Party

Today was my niece's birthday party. She was actually born on a day that passed by several weeks ago, but it couldn't the real day would have fallen on Super Bowl Sunday, so it was moved to the week after, but that was doomed by an immense, two-foot snowfall. So it was rescheduled to today. It was a bowling party, and its start time (1:00pm) made me think there wouldn't be any temptations there, but I was wrong. At the last minute, there was a decision to provide chicken fingers and french fries and don't you know that I had four chicken fingers (and one french fry). Sometimes, there isn't much you can do but go with the flow. On the plus side, I was able to avoid all Teddy Grahams, Starbursts, Birthday Cake and Chocolate and Vanilla ice creams that were both present and available.


Breakfast
3 Eggs, Over Broken
2.5 strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
2 Bites of Banana

Lunch
Robert's Tuna Salad Open faced on Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
Pickles

Party-Snack, Etc.
4 Chicken Fingers
1 French Fry
Diet Coke
1/4 Cup Almonds, Cashews

Dinner
Emily's Kick-Ass Turkey Crumble in Lettuce Wraps
Broccoli

Of course, it's nearing the end of February and the first year of the diet, so my mind is on Detecto. Though I had a spell of a cold and went several days without snacking, I'm not sure what the scale has in store for me. Depending on the commute, I'll either get there tomorrow or Tuesday for weigh in.

Day 363: To the Gym...and Beyond

Actually, the title of this post should be call "no workouts on the Sabbath," because I find when I go to the gym on Saturday, I always have my choice of machines, and there is never anybody waiting for me. I did 4.25 miles on the elliptical, and then I finished the fifth mile out on the track. It's always amazing to me how the fourth mile is so much easier than the second one, which seems to roll by so sloooowly.

Breakfast on the Threes
3 Eggs, Over Broken
3 Strips Applegate Turkey Bacon
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Lunch
Salad, with Feta and Cabbage
Breast of Chicken
Pickles
Coke Zero

Etc.
A bite of french toast

Dinner
Robert's Peppery Chicken
Onions, Cabbage and Peppers

Emily and I briefly discussed the milestone of one year on the diet. She asked what we should do to celebrate. Would it be dinner out? Desserts? Pizza? It was good fodder to think about; on the same level of considering what you would do if you win the lottery (I didn't, thanks eight guys in Nebraska). I will think on it some more.

Day 362: More No-Snacking

Except for the news in the title, there wasn't much to report today. I had planned to have lunch downtown with a friend, but something came up on his side at the last minute, so it got canceled. I had eaten light in preparation so when it came time for lunch it was a whopping big salad—breaking the standard ranks by about a dollar. Then, I thought I wouldn't eat it, but I did, which reminds me (and all who read this) that if you're like me, you're likely to eat everything on your plate. SO DON'T PUT IT ON YOUR PLATE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT IT.

Breakfast
2 Small slices Balthazar multi-grain bread
4 slices of ham
2.5 oz. 50% jalapeno cheddar
tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($5.72)
Red Leaf, Red Onion, Red Peppers
Broccoli, Feta, Grilled Chicken

Dinner: Bernard's
Spare Ribs
Emily's Leeks
Broccoli
Shrimp
Chilean Sea Bass
Salad

Whenever Emily's sister and her family are over, there is always a LOT more vegetables, and often salad, on the table than at any other time. Tonight was no exception. How many other families do you know that have an entree portion of salad in addition to a Chinese take-out meal? Though I know Ribs and such are not 'proper' SoBe food, I indulged anyway, and I LOVED IT.

Day 361: Appetite Back

Fortunately for me, my sinus-cold is gone and I feel somewhat better. Unfortunately, it means that my appetite has returned. I was really looking forward to not snacking anymore; I thought it was the new me. Now I realize I was just sick. This also led me to the dentist with incredible tooth sensitivity; apparently, sinus issues are directly related to the 'upper molars'. The dentist x-rayed me, and joyfully, sent me home with now work.

Breakfast
2 Small slices Balthazar multi-grain bread
4 slices of ham
2.5 oz. 50% jalapeno cheddar
tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)
1 Pear
1/2 oz. Popcorn

Lunch:Anna's
Grilled Chicken Quesadilla
Guacamole, Salsa, Hot Sauce
Broccoli, Red Beans

Dinner
Emily's Trout Fish Fry (Sauteed)
Bok Choy
Sauteed Cabbage
Salad

On the way back from the dentist I had to quickly get something to eat; Anna's caught my eye. Though it is rare that I make a decision to eat some bread, sometimes it's just the right decision. Anna's, it must be said, is the greatest at what they do; the food is incredible, fresh, and cheap. The store on Harvard Ave doubled in size (they literally opened a mirror-image store next to the existing one, with an identical counter and room full of seats) and so the line moves quickly. If they don't have the best quesadillas in Boston, then I just don't know what. I know people who live closer to Mexico will balk, but it was worth eating the white-quesadilla wrapper for.

Day 360: The Whole Circle

Today a brisk, albeit slightly shorter walk. We brought the newest member of the gang on the walk, and in deference to both him, the temperature and time concerns, we cut it short (minus seven minutes). I was super hungry for the rest of the day.

Breakfast
2 Small slices Balthazar multi-grain bread
4 slices of ham
2.5 oz. 50% jalapeno cheddar
tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tblsps Super Chunky Peanut Butter
1/2 pak Splenda

Lunch: Christos
Greek Salad with Grilled Chicken
Red Wine Vinegar & Oil

Dinner
Emily's Kick-Ass Fishamajig
Stir Fry Bok Choy

Emily is a great cook but every once in a while something that's even better than the Elephant Walk (the standard for Pan-Asian fare). Tonight, it was her first ever fish-stir-fry and it was incredible. She later asked "are we eating too much?" It's a good question. Dinner really should be the SMALLEST meal of the day, with breakfast being the LARGEST (if you must put them in those categories). Lastly, I noted that a half pak of Splenda is TOO sweet for me. I must remember to cut it down some.

Day 359: Fresca is Wood

I just want to repeat for those who missed yesterday's blog: Fresca is made of Wood, or wood by-products. If you remember the cry "Soylent Green is People" you'll recognize the siren call for this generation. Don't forget it, in case anyone asks you. Fresca is made of "Glycerol ester of wood rosin" aka WOOD, aka TREE. If you must pick a diet soda, please, please don't pick one made of things you can't identify.

Breakfast
2 Small slices Balthazar multi-grain bread
4 slices of ham
2.5 oz. 50% jalapeno cheddar
tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Demos
Ham, Onion, Feta Omelet
Salad with Feta

Dinner
Emily's Stir-Fry Chicken with Black Sesame Seeds and Leeks
Salad with Feta

Today I amazingly had NO snacks—not one in the morning or in the afternoon. I was hungry around 5pm (as I have been usually) and I went into the kitchen for a yogurt, but at the last minute decided that if I am going to arrive at my goal weight of 185 I must feel the hunger. I settled for water for a snack, and then got home to have dinner. I have been fighting the urge to eat something after dinner lately—and I realized that chocolate was NOT the way to go, perfect as it might be. I abolished the chocolate, and we'll see how it goes.

Day 358: President's Day with Fresca

Ruby has no school, and the cold cuts are still good. Since I have some extra time in the AM, I treat myself to another omelet. A definite casualty of having such a tight morning schedule is the inability to really 'make' any kind of breakfast for myself, but I can't complain since I love the Balthazar bread and cheese, even though it's very boring to read about.

Breakfast
3 Egg, Pastrami and Corned Beef Omelet
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Cheese
Tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)
1 bite of Balthazar bread
1 can Fresca
1/2 Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch: Russo's ($4.38)
Red Leaf, Red peppers, Red Onions
Feta, Chicken, Chick Peas
Oil & Balsamic Vinegar

Dinner
Ground Pork and Peppers
Lettuce Wraps

Interlude:
1 Square Tanzania Chocolate

I realize too late after I eat my third square of chocolate in as many days that I should just STOP eating chocolate. Sure, one square is only 50 calories and has a good dietary fiber to carbs ratio, but the fact is that on a diet, every 50 calories count, and I have no business squandering 50 of them at the end of the night.

I continue to fail to arouse anyone's ire regarding the contents of Fresca. Just yesterday there was an article in the NY Times about people who are fanatics for TAB. I thought I was a fanatic for Fresca, but today I had one and it was just BAD. It tasted bad and made me feel bad. Anyone want to know why? IT CONTAINS WOOD. Because you're still not moved to anger, I have provided the list of ingredients below. See if you can count how many things you shouldn't put in your body:

Water, Citric Acid, Concentrated Grapefruit Juice, Potassium Citrate,
Potassium Benzoate and EDTA (to protect taste) Aspartame, Acesulfame
potassium, acacia, natural flavors, glycerol ester of wood rosin,
brominated vegetable oil, carob bean gum

Day 357: Back to the Gym

I did get to the gym today, where I was jockeying for pole position with an overweight, pushy woman from the parking lot to the sign up board. She looked to be out of the running when she forgot her pass, but I ultimately was a two-time loser when I stopped to rent a towel (bleachy smelling things for a dollar. Note: not available on the Sabbath) and she pulled ahead. Aside from getting to the signup board first, she took the last signup spot for the elliptical machine. Due to a brain malfunction on my part, I signed up for the wrong machine. Without a machine, I spent the first 15 minutes on the treadmill. Then, I thought it was my turn, but sadly turned away by a Russian man who had to point out the folly of my ways. I did another half hour on the treadmill. I can't tell you how many miles I went because of my lack experience, I continued to pull of the emergency button, stopping the treadmill and resetting all the numbers. This happened three times. On the fourth time, just minutes before my time on the elliptical was called for, I just gave up and waited. I only had the appetite for 1 mile on the elliptical and then I did a half mile on the track. It was a disjointed triathlon, but it was a fitting return.

Breakfast
Pastrami and Eggs
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Few pieces of honeydew melon

Lunch
Corned Beef and Turkey
Pickles, Sour Tomatoes and Peppers
Cole Slaw
Coke Zero

Dinner
Caesar Salad (undressed)
6 oz. Breast of Chicken
Spinach, Tomatoes, Onions and Feta
Chicken and Arugala

Interlude:
1 Small Square Tanzania Dark Chocolate

Though there wasn't a lot of eating today, but what there was felt rich and heavy. Dinner was at a place called Macaroni Grille, which you would think from the crowds was the last civilized operation that was offering dinner in Massachusetts. It was basically another version of Bertucci's, but the food wasn't as reliable, and there was no dough to play with. The dark chocolate was better on day two. Aileen is promising a Burdick's bar that will knock my socks off.

Day 356:Saturday

Another weekend and I'm hoping to get to the gym again. In addition to the Balthazar bread, my mother has brought cured meats (Corned Beef and Pastrami). They prove to be irresistible every day.

Breakfast
Pastrami, Eggs and Onions
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Snack(s)
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread (with butter)
1/4 cup Almonds/Cashews

Lunch:
Bacon Cheeseburger with Onions (no bun)
Salad
1 Buffalo Chicken Tender

Interlude:
1 Small Square Tanzania Dark Chocolate
Coke Zero

Dinner
Salmon a la Emily
Spinach with Garlic and Olive Oil

Very small portion of salmon for dinner. I had eaten a lot in the day and fortunately I didn't continue the trend. In the afternoon there was a trip to Whole Foods where I bought a chocolate bar called "Tanzania," based on its low carbs and low sugars listed on the label. As per my previous experiences, it wasn't really for me. I guess I'm both interested and worried that if I find a dark chocolate I love I won't be able to have a casual relationship with it.

Day 355: 10 Days to Go

Today was actually a big eating day. I didn't think it would be, since I was sick and just not feeling like I had a lot of appetite. I knew it might be a hard day when I realized we had run out of Balthazar bread. Quelle desperation! However, I knew my Mom was coming with a shopping bag full! You've got to admire that woman, she is truly supportive.

Breakfast
1 Whole Wheat English Muffin
1 slice Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
Medium Dunkin Donuts Coffee (half Decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tblspns Peanut Butter

Lunch: Sushi 21
1 Gyoza
2 Steamed Shumai
1 Miso Soup
Salad
Sliced Sirloin Steak

Dinner
Emily's Asian Ground Turkey Lettuce Wraps
2 Glasses Yellow Tail Cabernet Merlot

And once again, Emily makes an incredible dinner, which is as good if not better than most restaurants. When I was the cook of the house, she used to analyze the meal and then come out with a price, such as "I would pay 7.99 for this in a restaurant." And now the shoe's on the other foot, as it is I playing the Phantom Gourmet. But the truth is, she's a much better cook than I. I was only a master of the 'low arts' of Grilled Cheese, Hamburger, Eggs and the occasional Caesar salad from scratch. But all of those things seems so 90s right now.

Day 354: Not Sick Again!

Unbelievably, I feel as though I am coming down with another cold. This is a drag for so many reasons, but mostly because it has been a winter season where my family could simply not shake their sickness, as it continued to shape-shift from one form to another. I am on the Emergen-C and Airborne in my attempts to stave it off.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Rye Bread
4 Slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
1 Medium Dunkin Donuts Coffee (Half Decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt (with Splenda)

Lunch: Chinese
Beef with Broccoli
Buddah's Delight
Chicken with Spicy Green Beans
House Special Egg Drop Soup (with Chicken, Tofu, Shrimp)

Dinner
Catfish
Junior Bok Choy a la Emily

As I was having my yogurt around 5:00 I was thinking, "why did I write 'I don't have a second snack?'" It's like a curse when you write those things down. SoI have one, only it was only my first snack, since I didn't have anything in the morning. I also tried out the yogurt without the peanut butter. It's really quite good, and you know, and I didn't consider myself a Splenda fan—I am certain that we will learn in the future that consumption is tied to increases in all kinds of terrible diseases—but for now I am enjoying the taste. Two days ago I had a diet coke with Splenda—it actually tastes better then regular diet coke with aspartame or whatever they put in it. There's still nothing like Fresca, which contains wood, which no one but me seems to care about.

Day 353: Wednesday

Went for a walk today, trying to take advantage of the 40 degree weather. Though it was just me and another Domaniac (and we are the slowest) it actually was quite a workout because the Charles River path was UNclear that it required a constant high-stepping and, well...hiking. We were both sweating by the end of it, which is always a good sign.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Rye Bread
4 Slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz. Coffee (Half Decaf)
1 Small Granny Smith Apple

Lunch: Christos
Greek Salad with Chicken
Feta, Oil & Vinegar

Dinner
Emily's Thai Fusion Chicken
and Pea Tendrils
A Bit of Rob's Red Beans
2 Bites of a Healthy Choice Chok'lit pop

It's been really amazing to me that I have not been hungry during the second snack period of the day. This has traditionally been the time, for as long as I can remember, that I would be drinking caffeinated beverages or eating chocolate candy. During periods where I was trying to be 'good' (all dieters refer to periods where they were or are 'trying to be good') I would eat Boston Lite Popcorn or Pretzels (which we all now is a joke). But I would always, always, be eating between 2pm and 6pm.
During my heaviest periods, I would often eat so much during that period that I was not hungry for dinner when I got home, which viewed in retrospect, is kind of sad. Even sadder is that I would often eat when I got home, even if not hungry. A friend of Emily's used to say "when you smell and see the food, you get hungry," and that's the truth.

So for most of the days this week (yesterday being an exception) I have not had a second snack. It's good in general because it also means that I am nearly nut-free, which is good, because any good diet calls for variety, and when you're on a nut-a-thon, it's really hard to break the rut.

Day 352: Valentine's Day

Well, despite my desire, I did not have any chocolate today. Though no one should despair, I did get a few valentines. I am gladdened at the thought that I might get in a few walks this week as the temperature nears 50 degrees here. This is a relief because this weekend the JCC was closed on Sunday due to the snowstorm. I am hoping to keep myself light through times of reduced exercise by eating less, and certainly I have made it through many of the days with only one snack. Today, I experimented with popcorn, which in individual bags weighs half of one ounce and contain only 10 grams of carbs (which is less than any other delicious snack).

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Rye Bread
4 Slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
1 Small Granny Smith Apple
1/2 oz Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch
Turkey Tips, Cherry Peppers on Mesclun Greens

Dinner
Chicken Breast
Emily's Bok Choy
1/2 Cheese Stick (was feeding it to Magnolia)

After dinner I did spend some time longingly caressing a bag of chocolate hearts I had procured from Whole Foods. Even though the calories were negligible, I opted out, but I was determined to have some chocolate, maybe at the one year celebration party! Just kidding.

Day 351: After Blizzard, Before Chocolate (...Valentine's) Day

Amazingly, I did not eat a second snack again today, though I had one planned, and at 3:30, my 'snack alarm' went off. Sadly, I was not hungry. 4:00pm, nope, 4:30, and today I left at 5pm, so no second snack. What is happening? I may just have found the perfect lunch for me—it's not too much, not too bad for me, not too filling, but just enough to see me through to dinner (as long as dinner as at 5:59PM on the nose). Dinner was a cacophony because I was with the kids while Emily went out with a friend.

Breakfast
1 Slice of Balthazar Multigrain Bread
4 slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
1 mealy Apple
1 medium cup Dunkin Donuts (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's Salad ($4.42)
Red leaf lettuce, red peppers, red onions
feta, grilled chicken, artichoke
olives, broccoli

Dinner
Ham and Cheese Omelet
Emily's Chinese Cabbage Stir-fry
4 baby carrots
A few pieces of cheeseburger, hot dog

For Chocolate Lovers!

It is that time again and don't think that I didn't get Ruby something special AND chocolate. Though it was hard to pass up the Barbie/Disney/Dora/Bratz chocolate sets at CVS, I went a little deeper and got a special chocolate hearts from Whole Foods. Coincidentally, I got an email today that implored me to share with you all the fact that we can save the rainforests, defy big corporate (M&M/Mars, Hershey's and Nestles) who employ slave labor AND feed our chocolate fix at the same time by locating and purchasing Fair Trade Chocolate (http://store.gxonlinestore.org/chocolate.html).

From their email:
"The chocolate to look for is organic and 'Fair Trade' -- and bears labels certifying both. The organic label verifies that the cacao was farmed in an environmentally sustainable way, while the Fair Trade label guarantees that farmers were paid a minimum price for their product. Without Fair Trade guarantees, small cacao growers are at the mercy of the market. When world cacao prices dip too low, as they have these past 10 years, growers can't make a living wage. Not only is that unacceptable from a human rights perspective, it also increases the likelihood that they'll shift their land to more profitable -- and destructive -- uses, such as cattle ranching."

Since being on South Beach, I've realized that dark chocolate is the way to go. The only problem is, I'm afraid if I go there I won't go back. The truth is, dark chocolate to me, while very delicious, is still a bit off-putting. Maybe I haven't found the right dark chocolate yet? Not that I couldn't eat my weight of it, just that having grown up on Slave Labor Ivory Coast chocolate, it's hard to move forward in a responsible direction where chocolate is concerned. I realize that Dark Chocolate has all the antioxidants and other health benefits while the crap we grew up on features mostly cheap ingredients like sugar and milk and not very much of the good stuff. I think tomorrow I might just have a little dark square (if my valentine gives me one)...

Day 350: Blizzard

We were ready. Went shopping, got the sterno, new construction paper and play-doh, milk, bread, we were not going to have to go out at all today. Of course the only downside to that is that you're near the food all day. This makes it quite a bit more difficult to avoid over-eating, and just from looking at the list, I can tell that it was one of my biggest eating days in quite a while, even if it's nowhere the kind of 'big eating day' I had as little as two years ago. Back then, though I am ashamed to admit it now, it was not uncommon for me to have eaten such a big meal that I would come home in equal parts discomfort and shame. Now the only time I really feel any kind of shame is when I know I could have made it through some feeling of hunger without snacking but I did, and this is not the same kind of shame as before, but a "I will not make my goal if I cheat myself" kind of thing.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain
4 Slices of Ham
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Lunch
Tuna Salad on
Romaine, Cabbage, Onions
with Feta
3 Melba Toast (Whole Grain)
5 Doritos (Ruby fed them to me, but I ate them)

Snack
6 oz plain yogurt
Super Chunky Peanut butter
1/2 splenda

Dinner
Cheeseburger (93% Sirloin)
Emily's Celery/ Broccoli Stir Fry
Bok Choy
Pickles

For those of you who have commented on the unpleasantness of the plain yogurt-peanut butter combination, I tried something today that I think changes everything. By adding 1/2 pack of Splenda, it made it a totally fantastic dish. In fact, the Splenda might make the peanut butter unnecessary. I am not an advocate of people adding Splenda to things (because it's a chemical that has not stood the test of time on people's bodies and it's poppycock that it's made from sugar and/or natural) but I have to say, it really does a lot to completely eliminate the sour yogurt flavor. When you look at the difference between plain yogurt carbs and fruit flavored yogurt, the fruit/flavored yogurts are almost DOUBLE. So I really need to save those carbs. Now, the Doritos on the other hand....

Day 349: Day of Three Yogurts

This is actually a misleading headline, but "Day of Two Yogurts" didn't sound that good. I'm not sure why I even wanted to title this entry that, but it stuck with me all day, so I just thought I'd go with it. Today I tried to get back on the horse of my old breakfast—longtime blog readers will surely recognize it—but somehow it just didn't sit right with me. Aside form that, Magnolia 'got sick'. This is in quotes because she didn't have the stomach virus, but did use the same mechanical function to rid herself of....well you get the idea. Not sure what it was about the one two punch of less-than-ideal-sitting breakfast and having your daughter get sick on you, but I wasn't much in the mood for lunch. Then around 5:00pm we determined Ruby had to go to the emergency room with an ear infection. How bout that? I buried the lede.

Breakfast
Two Eggs Over Easy
2.5 Strips Turkey Bacon
2 oz. 50 % Jalapeno Cheddar

Lunch
Plain Yogurt
2 Tblspns Super Chunky Peanut Butter
1/4 Kashi Go Lean

Snack/Dinner
Chicken Soup
2 oz Columbo Lite Blueberry Yogurt

So the rest of the story is that Ruby and I took off for the 'urgent care center' (someone in marketing came up with that, so much more attractive than 'emergency room'). Of course when we got there she was immediately hungry so we went in search of the ubiquitous hospital vending machines. She wanted pretzels and orange juice (doesn't that just say 'recovery snack' to a kid?) and I noted they had yogurt, and figured this was my one chance of getting any dinner. There were no spoons, but I managed to score one from the "urgent care' staff. Ruby liked my yogurt better than her pretzels, so there that went. When I got home and got the prescription filled, it was 10:00pm. I wasn't going to eat anything, but I had a little chicken soup and then Emily and started to prepare for the coming storm.

Day 348: Fughetaboutit

Very little to report today. I am still not myself, but unfortunately, I am still not someone else either. Certainly falling behind in my fitness regime due to sickness. Looking forward to work out this weekend, and maybe some aerobic snow-shoveling.

Break-fast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain bread
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Snack
1 Fuji Apple (it was a little plain)
1 Dunkin Donuts Medium Black Coffee (Half decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tbsps Peanut butter
1/4 cup Kashi Puffs

Lunch: Christos Salad

Dinner
Shrimp and Bok Choy a la Emily
Clams

I am noticing that since illness I have been quite low on the nuts (excepting peanut butter). This is good—for a long time I was on crash-nut-course that I couldn't swerve off of. Not sure if it's the lingering feelings of illness or what but I have not had more than a handful of nuts in quite some time, and I was reading in the SoBe book that they are 'dietbusters' if you don't watch out. But then so are Doritos.

Day 347: The Truth About Balthazar Bread

Aileen (my original SoBe partner) is on South Beach again and we were emailing about Balthazar bread and she asked me if it had white flour in it. I thought I had determined that, but with my advanced age, I couldn't remember. Well, wouldn't you know it, she called up not one but two bakers at Balthazar till she wrung the truth about the bread from them. There is NO WHITE FLOUR in the Rye or Multi-Grain bread; however the raisin bread and regular bread is made with white flour. A big sigh—if I had to give that up, it could have really set me back. For those travelling to NY (http://www.balthazarny.com/home.html) or NJ, I highly recommend a visit for some bread (the cookies are good too).

Breafkast
1 Slice Balthazar Rye
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
2 Slices of Ham

Snack
1 Gala Apple (it was a little mealy)
Coffee
1 oz. Peanuts
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tbsps Super Chunky Peanut butter
1/4 cup Kashi Puffs

Lunch
Feta Omlette
Greek Salad
A Tiny Nib of a Pita Bread

Dinner
Stir-Fry Beef
String Beans

Today was definitely a more 'old me' day. Did I say I went for a walk on Tuesday? It was bitter cold but I did it anyway, because our fastest Domania walker was up for it. We had both been sort of 'winterized'- meaning stuck inside, not exercising, getting pasty and heavier, and not liking it. I realize that any kind of movement at all is vital to making me feel better, if not keeping the weight off. I did think about chocolate a lot today. It was just that kind of day.

Day 346: One Snack

Amazingly, I ate in such a way that I was not even hungry for the second snack that I had prepared. It was sitting on my desk. I thought, "It's 4:00pm, I better eat my snack now." But I wasn't hungry. Then it was 4:30, then 5:00pm. Still, not interested. By the time I got home I was hungry and had a few nuts. But I was amazed to note that either I am changing, or still sick (hoping it's the former).

Breakfast
1 Slice of Balthazar Rye Bread
2 oz. Jalapeno Cheese
2 Slices of Ham

Snack
1 Cameo Apple
About 2 oz. Almonds/Cashews

Lunch: Russo's ($4.42)
Salad (no broccoli)

Dinner
Breast of Chicken
Emily's Stir-Fry Cabbage with Carrots

Still love to eat, but I'm definitely not at my former "voraciousness."

Day 345: 20 Days To One

Gamely shuffling my way to work, I can only hope that my illness does, in fact, help me shed a few pounds. I realize that even if it were not for the weight loss, this year was about bringing me to a healthy state. To vanquish most fear and anxiety, to have more energy, to feel that, in the words of Sammy Davis, Jr. "Yes I Can" (If Frank Sinatra says its OK)*. Though I am not yet at my goal state, I know that I can get there when I'm ready to put my foot on the petal. Today was about getting back to normal. I was a little less hungry during the morning, leading me to hope that I will always be not that hungry. I remain above all, a foolish optimist.

Breakfast
1 Large Slice of Balthazar Rye
5 Very thin slices of Virginia Ham
Tea

Snack
Tea
6 oz. Vanilla Yogurt
1 Braeburn Apple

Lunch
Three Poached Eggs
1 Slice Wheat (but probably not real Wheat) Toast
1 Ham Steak
A few potato crisps

Dinner
Tilapia a la Em
Sauteed Onions

Still not back at speed, I allow myself both a vanilla yogurt (twice the carbs of plain yogurt) and an apple. I skipped the honey in my tea and privately nurse the concern that I will become addicted to sugar. I also allowed myself the tiny crispy parts of a potato side dish (that I didn't order) but came with my poached eggs. If the eggs had been harder cooked, I could have skipped the toast, but their condition necessitated me eating the toast. Definitely not REAL wheat toast, you can just tell, when it tastes like wonder bread. For years I thought I was doing myself a solid by ordering wheat toast at diners and restaurants, but for the most part what they serve is 'shambolic.'**

* paranthetical quote from "This is Spinal Tap."
** Simon Cowell, American Idol.

Day 344: Back to Work

Not exactly 100%, I know it's time to get back to work. I have used up good will slack in work and sick time in the last two weeks of my family's illness and funeral travel. Feeling that I am not contagious, I set off for work. It takes some doing, and except for a wrong-headed moment where I volunteered to get a co-worker's lunch (I had to wait a bit and a sub shop is not exactly where you want to wait when you're queasy) the day went fairly well. I started to get light-headed around 4:00pm and I knew I had to get home.

Breakfast
1 Slice Whole Foods White Bread, Plain
Tea with Honey

Snack
2 Small Slices Challah
Unsweetened Apple Sauce

Lunch
Banana
Vanilla Yogurt

Dinner
Breast of Chicken
1 Whole Wheat English Muffin

I really wanted to eat a lot today. Nearly everyone who knew I was sick said "but you'll be glad to lose the weight." I thought this was a sort of gallows humor I am glad people feel comfortable enough with me to suggest, and in fact, it's true. I'll always remember how I had my gall bladder out in 2003 and lost about 10 lbs. Then, instead of going with that, I decided it was time to spend two years eating every fried thing I could get my hands on. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Day 343: Recovery Zone

Feeling a little better today, I was able to eat a whole piece of white toast and a cup of tea with honey. While worried that I'm skeeballing off South Beach, I realize I have to try and do what feels right.

Breakfast
1 Slice White Toast
Tea with Honey

Lunch
75% Banana
1 Unsweetened Apple Sauce
1 Slice of Balthazar Rye Toast

Dinner
1 Soft-Boiled Egg
1 Slice Balthazar Rye Toast

Not out of the woods yet, but so far I'm thinking that I'll go to work tomorrow.

Day 342: Full-Blown Virus

There seems to be some kind of stomach virus that is making its way through the region. Our pediatrician said they had seen over 200 kids throwing up since Christmas. Ruby got it, Emily got it, and I thought I missed it, but I got a somewhat mild version. Usually it causes people to need to use the toilet in two ways (A) kneeling and (B) sitting. Mine was more of the B type.

Tea
1/2 slice of White Toast

There was literally no eating today; very little time out of bed.

Day 341: Poker Game

As long time readers know, the day of a poker game is a day to be very cautious with the calories. Though I was quite irresponsible in the old days, I did get to a point where I was only having a plain chicken caesar salad for dinner with no dressing—though it was small consolation given that I was also drinking a beer, a coke, sweet and crunchy nuts, funyuns, fritos, bonbell cheeses, doritos 3-Ds, chili cheese fries and yes, the occasional choco taco. Even back then I started to have salad for lunch too, as if somewhere in that thick head of mine (made thick from obviously being layered with white sugar and flour) I knew that I was this close (holds thumb and forefinger less than half an inch away from each other) from that first heart attack. These days, I am still eating the salad on poker day. Also, I try to avoid any nuts as a concession to eating more than the alloted amount later in the evening. I'm also allowing that a fair amount of calories come after 7:30, which according to Oprah and everyone who knows anything about anything is a no-no.

Breakfast
1 Large Slice, Balthazar Bread
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
2 slices of ham
Tea

Snack:
1 Braeburn Apple
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean
2 Tbsps Peanut Butter

Lunch: Russo's Salad
Red Leaf, Red Onions, Red Peppers
Chicken, Feta
Onions, Artichokes, Squash, Olives
Oil & Balsamic Vinegar

Poker Snack:
Olives
Cashews/Almonds
1 Cup Spoiled Popcorn

Dinner: Mandarin Taste

Boneless Spareribs
Szechwan Beef
Chicken with Broccoli
Shrimp with Lobster Sauce

Lots of Chinese food tonight, though since I got to order it, I made sure this was little that was SoBe friendly. I had to give up on the appetizers, because everybody wanted fried things, even though everyone acknowledged that they didn't need them. they did go fast, so at least people were being honest. It is hard to eat Chinese food without rice, but somethings you just have to accept. I bought a bag of Boston Lite popcorn but it had 'turned'—though I ate it anyway, desperate as I was for a salty snack. I also had the tiniest crumb of piece of cheesecake I got for my brother as a special birthday dessert. Naturally, there was also pie.

Day 340: Thursdays

On Thursdays in my old life, I used to have a ritual. I would get up extra early (before kids that was 7ish) and get on a train to the South End of Boston where I would meet my brother. From there we would go to the South End's greatest breakfast hole, Charlies Sandwich Shoppe. Almost every Thursday we would have the same breakfast. For each of us, Two "dropped" eggs on their world-famous turkey hash, with melted cheese over it. In addition, we would sometimes get blueberry pancakes (with butter and syrup). Always coffee, and for me, orange juice and LOTS of water. After about 40 minutes of forking it in, I would take his car, drop him off at work at the Boston ad agency, and then I'd drive to Cambridge where I would work, eat lunch (amazingly) and then, at 6pm, retrieve him in Boston, where we'd drive to our card game. If you've just joined the blog, or can't remember, the card game was a night full of anti-South Beach foods at volumes that no normal person should consume. When i think how I did that every week for a year or two, it's no wonder I was 40 lbs overweight. Additionally, Friday mornings always found me SUPER tired from staying up late and consuming empty white carbs. Often Friday mornings would see me catching the 'hair of the dog', either at McDonald's or a Lemon Pie. It's really amazing that I'm still alive, when you think about it.

Breakfast
1 Large Slice, Balthazar Bread
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
2 slices of ham
Tea

Snack
20 Almonds
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean
2 Tblspns Peanut Butter

Lunch: Christos
Greek Salad with Chicken
Oil & Vinegar Dressing

Dinner
Steak Tips
Green Beans
Pickles

Another Domaniac and I went for a VERY brisk walk today, which was good, because I need it, and this was looking to be the only good day of the week. Though it was cold, there were a few warm spots. It was an interesting Groundhog Day, because I could never understand why they care about 'predicting' whether there will be more winter or not. There's always more winter in New England, and it rarely ends on March 22nd, when it's supposed to. All of the warm days this winter have frustrated my friends who are skiers, and greatly alarmed me, but I have been glad to take advantage of it. Today's CNN article about Groundhog day seemed to support my point, when they wrote "The National Environmental Trust said it's groundhog-suit-wearing human 'will ignore his shadow and will instead rely on global warming evidence to forecast an early spring.'"

Day 339: Detecto Says "193"

Though it's only been two weeks (or so) since my last weigh in, I wanted to keep on a regular first-of-the-month weigh-in. I must confess to you: I don't like getting on the scale any more than you do. But I feel I must do it because I have a goal (to get to 186 lbs) and it's the only way I can know whether I'm progressing or not. Sure, it helps to throw out pants. Sure it's good to have to dispose of belts. But a life-change is about the numbers: carbs, grams of fats, calories and weight in pounds. I actually went to the doctor regarding an arm-tingling I've been having. I think it's a pinched nerve. Anyway, by the time I got weighed in it was 4:00pm, I was wearing my jeans, and I had just had my yogurt. Not only that, but I had just come from a weekend of Shiva-sitting, so I was pretty happy with 193.

Breakfast
1 Slice of Multi-Grain Balthazar Bread
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Light Cheddar
Tea

Snack-um
20 Almonds
1 Cheese Stick
Coffee (half decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
Peanut Butter
1/4 Kashi Go Lean Cereal

Lunch: Russo's Salad
Red Leaf, Red Onions, Red Peppers
Chicken, Feta
Onions, Artichokes, Squash, Olives
Oil & Balsamic Vinegar

Dinner
Chicken Breast
Broccoli
Pickles
(a few bites of Ruby's cheeseburger)

The Salad Bar continues to be a place where numbers count. The bar at Russo's is $3.99/lb. So I figure that a pound and half of salad ($5.50) is about the right amount, even though you might think that sounds like an enormous amount of salad. Certainly it's possible to create a calorie rich, unhealthy salad, if you load it up with bad fats and fried things, and that heap on creamy dressings. But if you keep your ingredients on the wholesome side, you should be able to eat a lot of salad. Lately, I had been going over $6.00. Naturally I was starting to get worried—"Am I bingeing at lunch?" You don't want to pull a muscle carrying your salad. Today my salad weighed in at $4.34—a new 'low' record. It actually was quite satisfying. I made a conscious effort to take less things, as taking 'seconds' is always the hardest thing for me to resist. Incidentally, the same salad at Whole Foods would have cost $13.00, but it would have been organic.

Day 338: 1 Short Month to Go

Amazingly, I am just one short month (February) from having made my lifestyle change for a year. Though there are still struggles, mostly with volume (see: "Seconds") but mostly I have incorporated the "South Beach" diet into my daily thoughts and beings. However, I am still learning things. For instance, I was avoiding popcorn, but today, hungry and in the car broke into a bag I brought for Ruby that she wasn't interested in. I noted that one serving (a bag) is 60 Calories with 10gs of Carbs—less than a serving of toast (or Kashi, for that matter). I resolved to make it part of my diet from this point on, which is good, because I'm always looking for ways to avoid nuts.

Breakfast
1 Cup of Kashi Whole Grain Puffs
1/2 Cup of Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
1 small orange
15 Almonds
1 Joy Stick
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
1 Cup Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch
Roll Mops: Ham, Muenster, Mustard
1 Heart of Romaine
Pickles

Dinner
Balsamic Chicken a la Robert
Broccoli

Today I had to stay home from work for the fifth time in two weeks, which not only makes me greatly uncomfortable but puts me way behind in all the work I have to do. Emily came down with whatever Ruby had last week and it surely was not pleasant. As one of my fill-in duties, I had to bring her to her "jazz-funk dance" class at the JCC; and so of course, it made sense for me to work out, since the poor weather and impossibility of parking anywhere near the facility made pick up and drop off more complicated. So I did get a 35 minute, 3 mile work out on the ellipse in today, which was good, because I was fretting about going to weigh in without any kind of exercise. For the third time in a row I stopped by the "fitness office" to see a consultant, but no one was on duty. Naturally, I will continue to try and get someone so I can achieve 2007's goals of rock hard abs.