Year 2, Day 168: Slipping off the rails

When people ask me about how to give up carbs, I remember that first two week period, "Phase One" in both SoBe and Atkins is the real tough part. The book says after that period, you won't miss sweets, and what I have observed anecdotally is that people who try to give up that stuff without the two week 'hazing' period fail to be able to give up the white stuff. I have also noticed that on a day like today, when I allowed a little more than usual white stuff into my diet, I am hungrier and somewhat less in control. You could also draw the conclusion that whatever is making me allow the other stuff into my diet (stress, life changes, anxiety) could also be responsible; I was always an anxiety eater. Many, many, many rolls of chocolate chip cookie dough were consumed in the name of fighting back anxiety. And in truth, it did work very well, if only to replace anxiety with shame, but for a brief period there in the middle there was a feeling of deliciously satisfying fulfillment of a hedonist's agenda.

Breakfast
60g of Heritage Flakes/Kashi Go Lean
1 Cup Strawberries from Quebec/Blueberries
1 Cup unsweetened soy milk
4 cherries
1 handful of fruity cheerios
1 handful of Whole Foods cheese curls
Green Tea

Snack
4 sticks beef jerky
12 red grapes

Lunch: Guatemalan Restaurant
Grilled Breast of Chicken
Salad
Black Beans
1/2 Empanada (Fried Beef Dumpling)
Taste of tamale (Corny porridge)

Dinner
6 strips of boneless spareribs
Salad of romaine, cabbage, celery, red pepper and 30 almonds
balsamic vinegar

Dessert (if you can call it that)
A taste of coffee-heath gelato (had no heath in it)
three bites of Ruby's oreo gelato

One of the things every parent can gain a lot of weight from is eating their kid's leftover foods. This is one area where I rigidly refused to compromise when I discovered how often I was doing it. I realized that Parents develop their weird eating habits by picking up their kid's leftovers, like grilled cheese crusts, chicken bones, rib ends, left over cold cereal, bread that has too much butter on it...this morning I grabbed a lot of what I giving to Ruby and I felt like I was on a SoBe version of some spy show, with a glycemic level in the lower right hand part of the screen instead of a timer. As much as I tried to avoid it, there was sugar or something bad waiting around every corner for me, just like double agents. There was a unplanned visit to a Guatemalan restaurant whose name I can't give you, but it's at 254 Brighton Ave (but don't go there, it was mediocre). Then there was there the sugarific boneless spareribs (Emily got them for the kids, but especially for Ruby before her performance) and we went for gelato after the performance (as I noted above). Though it is slightly insane, I am feeling like I've gone off the rails. Feels bad. Tonight Ruby was a participant in "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown," where near as I could tell, she played the letter "D" and had one line "Beautiful bird." Magnolia was enthralled the whole time she wasn't shoving cheddar guppies in her mouth. Ruby's parents kvelled through the whole poorly-sung, often inaudible performance by the camp.