Day 337: Feeling Old, Sick

People are always saying "your health is the most important thing" and for good reason. When you are unhealthy, your outlook on the world is less rosy. For instance, I did not get to workout this weekend. I had an opportunity—my mom has a treadmill and I certainly could have gotten on it, but I felt too lousy to exercise. I could have leapt to the gym upon returning, but I just barely had the energy to get us ready for the weekend. So here I am, Monday, facing a rainy week (aka no walks) and I'm feeling lousy.

Breakfast
2 (small) slices of Balthazar bread
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Lite
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz plain yogurt
Super-chunky peanut butter

Lunch: Russo's Salad
Red Leaf Lettuce, Red Onions, Red Peppers
Yellow Squash, Feta Cheese, Tuna Salad
Mushrooms (for luck on Chinese New Year), Artichokes

Dinner: Leftovers from CK Shanghai
Hollow Pea Stems
Steak from Steak Ginger

In my new life aside from eating responsibly from a calorie perspective, I am trying to eat responsibly from a consumption perspective. Though we went shopping on our return, we also had leftovers and I deemed I better eat them no matter how mediocre they were when they were dinner. By combining two dishes and adding hot sauce I made it palatable. I am excited about adding fruit to my diet. This is mainly because we had some California Oranges that were just unbelievable. Keep in mind that these oranges were actually picked by people we knew from a tree in California and then handed to us. I bought some in the store the other day; I'll see how they are.

Day 336: Return and Happy Chinese New Year (Year of the Dog)

It's official: everyone in the family is sick. We get up, bleary eyed and shove the car full of dirty laundry and ill-folded clothes and get on the road. My mother had secured loaves of bread from Balthazar so large we had to chop them in half to properly cart them around. Also, Emily's father only has a pop-up toaster so this required a lot of handling. There were a lot of torn slices around and I think I ate all of them. We didn't each much on the road.

Breakfast
Slices of Balthazar Rye Bread
Peanut Butter
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Light
Tea

On-the-road
1 Joy Stick
1 Orange
7 Almonds, 7 Cashews

Return
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tsps Peanut Butter
1/4 Kashi Go Lean

Dinner: CK Shanghai
Hot and Sour Soup
2 Boneless Spareribs
Ginger Beef
Sliced Fish

To celebrate our return home we decided not to cook, and to celebrate Chinese New Year's we thought we try this new restaurant nearby that's supposed to be a sensation. Emily gave it low grades, and Ruby wasn't buying it either. Magnolia ate quite a bit of beef teriyaki, and I too thought it was lacking. But then I have a soft spot for Chinese food. Oh, I could tell you stories about consumption, but not now.

Day 335: Saturday's Shiva

We continue our Shiva-sitting by trying to get ready for the next onslaught of visitors. In the process, we did some shopping and house-cleaning. Everything happens so fast it's really hard to keep track of what you're eating. You're basically hosting an all-day drop by and you're constantly bringing things out and putting them away, and trying to think about what you'll need. The truth is that during a Shiva, people are supposed to bring food but in the modern world one of two things happen; either people come wanting to be fed, or you get so much food you're pleading with people to help you eat all the food that has been sent.

Breakfast
Butterball Turkey Bacon (not as good as Louis Rich or Jennie-O)
Scrambled Eggs
50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Coffee

Lunch or Things That Were Eaten During the Day
The cheese of three slices of pizza
Salad
Lots of Cashews
1 Very Small Bite of Dark Chocolate with AlmondsPickles, Olives

Dinner
Pastrami Slices
Slices of Edam Cheese
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean
2 Tbspns Peanut Butter

When I look back on the day it's amazing that I didn't eat more than I did. You can't believe how upside-down some folks got when exposed to trays of delicious desserts and chocolates. Luckily, and for no known reason, it had no effect on me. I did sample of the chocolate, but I decided I could do without it, and the sticky buns, chocolate chip cookies, and the rest.

Day 334: Funeral

Sure funerals are hard for everyone, especially those in the forefront of the loss. But it must be acknowledged that it is difficult in an entirely different way for those who have special dietary needs. For instance, the funeral was called for 11:00AM. I thought, OK, that's an hour, then the burial, that's an hour, 1:00pm we'll be going back to the house. The Jews have a big thing about the post-grieving. (http://www.benjamins.ca/Static/shiva_background.htm) Anyway, like an acorn-starved squirrel, I sat in the back of the limo, feeding myself pistachios.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Bread
1 Tsp Peanut Butter
1 6 oz Plain Yogurt
2 Tsps Peanut Butter
1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean

Snack
1 Joy Stick
150 Pistachios

Lunch/Dinner
1 Whole Wheat Bagel
Egg Salad
Baked Salmon
Whitefish
6 Blackberries
6 Slices of Corned Beef, Mustard
Cole Slaw

The amazing thing is that after you are starved beyond comprehension, you have to eat a ton. If you do that wrong, you'll be sick. I did eat a lot but not too much. However, that 4:00pm was the last meal of the day; despite the presence of chocolate, desserts, fruit plates, and cheesecake. I even avoided having any alcohol, even though it was very tempting.

Day 333: Travel to NY

Some people love traveling, but I am not one of them. There is so much to remember, and you're child-wrangling it's easy to forget vital things, like your funeral outfit as Emily did.

Breakfast
2 Eggs
2.5 Strips Turkey Bacon
2 oz. Jalapeno cheddar 50%

On the Road/Lunch
1.5 Chicken Cutlets
2 oz. Jalapeno Cheddar
3 oz. Almonds/Cashews

Arrival/Snack
Chicken Soup with White Meat Chicken
30 Pistachios

Dinner
Still More Chicken Soup
1 Spare Rib
Chilled Shrimp
Salad

When I woke up today, I knew I had the cold or whatever that Ruby had. My head was fuzzed-out and my nose didn't stop running for most of the car trip. I was hoping it would affect my appetite, but mostly it didn't.

Day 332: Sam

Last night a close family friend died. While it's always hard to process this kind of thing, it's even harder not to reach for the food for comfort. On top of it, Ruby is still not 100%, Magnolia seems to have a bug giving her a fever, and we're all getting the car for NY. There is no doubt that I could sit myself down and finish off a package of Fig Newtons (originally to be called Fig Shrewsburys but for a last minute change of plans). The other reason I don't eat the Fig Newtons is they are literally filled with everything that everyone should avoid—corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated oils, and sugared-up fig paste that leaves plaque on your teeth. Ruby's dentist confirmed that the best desserts (if you must have desserts) are ice cream, popsicles and crispy cookies. I say amen to all three!

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Lite
2 Slices Black Forest Ham
Tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)
30 pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz. Plain Yogurt with
Lots of Peanut Butter, 1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean

Lunch: Wonton Kitchen
Beef with Broccoli
House special egg drop soup

Dinner
Salad
1 Joy Stick
1 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

It was good that I had a slightly larger than average lunch because dinner was simply not happening for anyone this evening. We tried hard to bring order to the house with a round of baths and eventually everyone got to sleep. But the ride tomorrow is going to be difficult. I almost ate a fudge pop but realized that I can't be weak now—the real weakness will come when I'm surrounded by mourners and in close proximity to the world's most delicious food (I'm talking about you, New York). Prior to this incident my mother (longtime blog readers insert cheer here) had gotten to Balthazar's NY place and stocked us up, which was good because we were down to our last two slices of Rye.

Day 331: Yikes

Ruby continued her campaign of nausea and was in between a few moments of excitability, spent most of the day laid out in bed, watching cartoons. She couldn't keep much down and had little interest in food other than life savers, which were brought over by a friend. It is sobering to think about my diet in the backdrop of someone who can't eat a thing, or is reduced to the BRAT diet by a stomach illness.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Lite
2 Slices Black Forest Ham
Tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)
30 pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz. Plain Yogurt with
Lots of Peanut Butter, 1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean

Lunch: Russo's Salad
Red Things; Red Onions, Red Leaf Lettuce, Red Pepper, Balsamic Vinegar
Green Things: Olives, Olive Oil, Broccoli, Celery
Protein: Chicken and Feta Cheese

Dinner: A la Emily
Whole-Wheat Dredged Chicken
Broccoli, Celery, Sprouts and Scallions

I promised Ruby I would get her some different life savers (a friend had brought over the five-flavor classic). However, I was unable to do this. Neither CVS I went to had anything but five flavor—I was aghast. I did find some sugarless butter rum and a value pak of WintOgreen, but where was the tropical fruit? Oh how I longed for the fleshy-colored mango life savers! Oh, how I endured the awful fake-coconut ones! How I long to share that experience with my daughter, but due to the cold, cruel heartless marketing department determining that simply won't sell, they've been discontinued. In case you wanted to know, the new five flavors are: Cherry, Watermelon, Pineapple, Raspberry and Orange. I'm not sure why they named a companion product "creme savers" as they don't save creme or lives.

Day 330: Yet Another Snow Day in Needham

Amazingly, though the forecast called for snow during the 5AM-10AM hours, and possibly 6 inches (which is not by typical New England January parameters) school was not closed. I woke up for some reason at 3:30am and went downstairs to check the school closings list and look outside. No snow. I got up again at 6:30am and it was like white out conditions but still no Needham cancellation. I think that they are still trying to make it up for the time they cancelled school when it was only raining and every parent got mad. Anyway, I knew we were going to be late so I drove Ruby to school and when I passed her bus stop, everybody was waiting there freezing, so I gave them all a lift. The roads were really awful but it was only a mile and half. When I got there all the teachers were somewhat in shock that there was school and a lot of parents were dropping their kids off and buses were late everywhere. I was scheduled to go into work until 12 and then take Ruby to her first Dentist appointment (OK, we're late), but I knew then there was no point in going to work and then having to leave again in an hour because the roads were so bad. I stayed at home, and that often means going off the routine, but I did OK.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Lite
2 Slices Black Forest Ham
Tea

Snack
1 Stick Celery
Coffee with Unsweetened Soy Milk
15 Almonds
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz. Plain Yogurt with
Lots of Peanut Butter, 1/4 cup Kashi Go Lean

Lunch
Muenster Omelet
2.5 Strips Turkey Bacon
6 oz. V-8

Dinner
Pan-Sauteed Chicken
Broccoli with Lite Soy
Pickles & Peppadews

I realized today that there are days when I am just going to be very hungry. Whether that is caused by stress, work, being tired or actual hunger I cannot always tell, but it seems that I'm going to have to turn to celery and broccoli during the day if I'm going to get anywhere. I noticed as I was prepping the broccoli today that I like to eat the stems raw quite a bit. I decided I would bring some to work tomorrow to just keep around and just chomp on if the mood (and need) strike. I know that if I am to attain my goal weight I must: 1. Add more exercise and 2. Vary my diet. These are big challenges. Thank goodness I have all of 2006 to conquer them (though really only till Ruby's birthday to achieve the next 8 lbs).

Day 329: Trip to Marblehead

Social eating is a whole other kind of thing you have to deal with on your diet. Different from just plain ol' restaurant eating with your S.O., social eating to me is a trip to someone's house with a spread, like a brunch, or some formal or semi-formal occasion where some kind of buffet is available, like a wedding. I'm not sure that I'll ever excel at my diet when a plate of appealing food is just lying around begging to be sampled or eaten. I find the biggest difference is that it's easy to manage your portion control when you know, say, that you have 15 minutes to eat; or that you have limited choices (as in at your workplace) or when someone else makes your dinner. It's harder when you're out there in the world, say on vacation, when the point is to ENJOY YOURSELF. That's hard.

Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi Go Lean Cereal
3/4 cup Unsweetened Silk Soy Milk
Tea

Early Lunch
5 oz. 50% Jalapeno Lite Cheddar
3 Slices of Ham
2 Slices of Toscano Salami
Ass't Bites of Other Cheeses
1 Cup Coffee

Snack
Fruit 2O
1 Joy Stick
15 Almonds
6 oz plain yogurt with 2 Tbs peanut butter and 1/4 cup of Kashi Go Lean
1 Celery Stalk

Dinner
Steak Tips
Emily's Spicy Bok Choy with Scallions
Cabbage, Onion and Feta Salad

I went to the gym today and IT WAS HARD. I'm not sure why, but it was one of those days where I ran at a rate of about 6.5mph so I could get it over with faster. I did 3 miles (in under 30 minutes, a record) then, jelly-legged I did another FAST half-mile around the track. I really worked up a sweat—so much that I had to wipe down my headphones (sorry if that's a disturbing image). I really didn't have much more in me, but I was wondering, why was it so hard? Why was I so tired? What about Naomi?

Day 328: Love at the Art-In

Today was the "Art-In" at Ruby's school, which Emily joked was a protest (it wasn't). It was simply a well-planned, indoor event for kids scheduled to be going crazy from staying indoors in the winter. However, it was 56 degrees today, so Ruby naturally made a beeline for the monkeybars (after decorating her cupcake with sprinkles, chocolate chips and m&ms, natch).
I knew that I would be in some kind of low-blood-sugar crisis if we stayed there the whole time so I endeavored to load up before I went, but when the clock turned to 1:00pm, I was like the carriage in Cinderella turning into a pumpkin. You never see that in the movie, but believe me, it's not pretty. I was so much hungrier today than usual, and I don't know why.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Lite Cheddar
2 Slices of Ham
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz plain yogurt with 2 Tbs peanut butter and 1/4 cup of Kashi Go Lean
1 oz 50 % Jalapeno Lite Cheddar
1 Celery Stalk

Lunch
Salami, Muenster and Scallion Omelet

Dinner
Catfish
Avocado Salad
Broccoli with Soy Sauce.

I was just thinking today about how everything in my life regarding food—from going to restaurants to shopping has changed. Emily used to say to me "you buy a lot of things you don't eat." I realize now, looking back, that a majority of that stuff was carbohydrates, and the bad kind at that. Mostly it's because that stuff is available in bulk, is cheap and doesn't go bad. Whether it was crackers, rice, pasta, there was a ton of it. I now notice that my shopping cart has little of that, instead being filled with SoBe friendly items like protein, vegetables, fruit and dairy products (a lot yogurt, f'ristance). I also notice that as a result of this new shopping trend, when our fridge and cabinets get empty, they're really empty.

Day 327: Meat Day

Another beautiful day and another day for a walk with the Domania gang. Though one member was missing, it was otherwise an all-in walk, including our pregnant member, who joined though she was worried we would find the walk too slow. We didn't but I believe that any walking is good walking (in terms of health). If you ask me if I'd rather walk to the video or drive I would shoot you a dirty look. In the book "Natural Cures..." the author Kevin Trudeau says;
"When you go for a walk, not only are you getting the benefits of the exercise of the slow rhythmic movement, you lymph system is getting toxins out of your body...the energy is flowing through the meridians and you are allowing for the earth's magnetic energy to flow through your body, energizing your cells. You are also looking out and externalizing through your eyes at far away distances, which increases the electromagnetic energy in your body...It has a profound effect on your state of mind and happiness."

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Lite Cheddar
2 Slices of Ham
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz plain yogurt
2 Tbs peanut butter

Lunch: Not Your Average Joe's
Sirloin Tips
Green Beans
House Salad

Dinner
93% Ground Sirloin Burger
Pickles
Cabbage a la Emily

Emily had been on a fish-a-ma-jig so I was surprised to have red meat for dinner, especially since I had had it for lunch, eschewing the usual salad choice. Ironically, I was the only one at the table to order a non-salad, which was typical for my old self. I once made a business mentor and colleague chuckle endlessly when I ordered "a second rasher of bacon—for the table." And that wasn't the only story of that kind of order out there. There is no doubt that I might always struggle with numbers on the scale, but barring apocalyptic terror that drives me to a box of chocodiles (http://www.freshchocodiles.com/) , I think my ways have been changed for good. Certainly for the better.

Day 326: The Waiting

I tried the Kashi for breakfast today. Though the book "Good Carbs, Good Fats" lists 1 serving as 1/2 a cup I have taken it upon myself to determine that that is a ridiculous amount of cereal for a grown man. I treat myself to a whole cup. It it good—but probably two cups is the right size. I went for a brisk walk, taking advantage of the warm weather today. Again, there's that global warming at work for me to lose weight.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi
3/4 cup unsweetened Soy Milk

Snack
Dunkin Donuts Coffee (half decaf)
30 Pistachios
2 Cheese Sticks
6 oz plain yogurt
2 tsps peanut butter

Lunch
Pound O' Salad from Christos

Dinner
Leek-y Sole
Bok Choy

I am not hungry very often. That may be a sign that I'm eating too much? Do I have an eating disorder? What I think I have gotten pretty good at is waiting. I absolutely must wait until 3:30 in the afternoon to have my yogurt or I won't make it till dinner. 11:30am is a tough time for me—I am out of snacks and I have to wait till lunch. That's probably the hungriest I get all day.

325: Detecto Says "194"

It's my first weigh-in for quite a while and of course, it was OK, about what I expected, but just like American Idol contestants, I dream of great things, even if the reality wasn't quite there. Glad to be past the hurdle of 196 and I know now for sure that I have get serious about the second gym trip or just accept my destiny to live the 190s. I've been rereading the South Beach book and I think that the portion sizes have been reduced. Who can eat a half cup of cereal for breakfast? That's just crazy.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread (yummy)
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Lite Cheddar
2 Slices of Ham
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz plain yogurt
2 Tbs peanut butter

Lunch: Russo's
Salad: Chicken, Feta, Onions, Red Leaf Lettuce, Artichokes, Olives

Dinner
Tilapia a la Emily
Emily's Roasted Pepper Medley
Apple Fruit 2 O

I am desperately trying to come up with other alternatives to pistachios for snack. I know that a key to losing weight, staying healthy and being happy is having variety in your foods. Emily has been doing great things in the kitchen but I have to keep up my end on breakfast and lunch. Since my morning ritual is down to about 15 minutes, it's hard to find something that's both fresh and appealing. Tomorrow it's Kashi, and then back to Balthazar; maybe some eggs on the weekend. We'll see how it goes.

Day 324: Bread Consumed, Consumed by Bread

Emily said "you're probably so excited about the bread you won't be able to sleep." She was right. I was excited and it was hard to go to sleep. More exciting was the freedom from eggs-ploitation; as two weeks of eggs is hard to take. I know I went four weeks the first go around, but I'm more willing to do more exercise now. If I was a Batman villain I would have stressed "Eggs"-ercise. But I'm not. I debated having the bread plain; then with melted cheese (one day I'll get back to the peanut butter on toast). I took my first bite naked (the bread, not me) then added the fixings. Yep, it's that good. It's like potato chips, it's hard to stop at one.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread (yummy)
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Lite Cheddar
2 Slices of Ham
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz plain yogurt
2 Tbs peanut butter

Lunch
Christos Pound O' Salad
with grilled chicken

Dinner
Emily's Cabbage-a-thon
Spicy Chicken with Sauce of Mystery

Though this is the time you can slowly add back carbs to your diet, I need to take it slow. I am going to see Detecto tomorrow (if I don't get iced-out, according to the forecast) so we'll have to assess the damage there. If I was a betting man I don't know, I might say 194 or something—maybe 195? I'm really looking for anything LOWER than 196, that's my goal. If I'm at 196 I'll really know that I won't be having that second slice of bread anytime soon. I'm staying on the plain yogurt for now since really it's lower in carbs than the supposedly 'low-fat' which you're only supposed to have 4 oz of. I figure 6 of plain is a fair trade. I am seriously starting to think about Ruby's diet, for first time in my life—not just about the lunches and stuff, but about the whole shebang—should probably get her off white bread? A recent experiment where I attempted to giver her Organic Fig Newmans instead of Fig Newtons was an abject failure. So we've got a little bit of a way to go there.

Day 323: Boy Dreams of Bread

Well that's it. Phase One (Part Two) is over. Tomorrow begins Phase Two (Part Two) and everything that comes with it. My job now is to introduce carbs (or more carbs) back in slowly, and to try and keep losing weight. Because this is a short week, I probably won't be adding the workout this week, but the weigh-in is sure to spur me on. I am going to start with one slice of bread (I was eating two at last writing) and so I suppose I had gotten to Phase Three.

Breakfast
Two Hard Boiled Eggs
Lox
Tea

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
30 Pistachios
1 oz. Jalapeno Cheddar Lite
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tsps Peanut Butter
1 Celery Stick

Lunch
Cheeseburger (with Kaseri)
Pickles

Dinner
Steelhead Trout a la Emily
Cabbage (my fave)

Mostly looking forward to adding fruit back, and regular (not plain) yogurt. I will go slow, and see how it goes. Good to know that Phase One is behind me, and my clothes are sagging once again. I'm not sure I lost any real weight this time around—I suspect the last 10 pounds will be the hardest and will not go away without exercise. And then there's my goal of attaining rock hard abs by — never?

Hope this is not a yearly ritual (the need to Phase One it following Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, New Year's "Rockin Eve" with Dick Clark) but if you're still reading, I'll probably still be blogging.

322: Almost Done with Phase One

Tomorrow is my last day on Phase One. In what could only be called premature, I brought up the two loaves of Balthazar bread (one rye, one multi-grain) that I had socked away in our chest freezer and stored in them in our upstairs freezer. (There was no more left from the first loaves—Emily finished off what I didn't, and now Magnolia loves it too). I am excited for Tuesday, where I will have a slice for the first time. Before I went back to Phase One I was having TWO slices every morning. That's probably not the thing to do. Then on Wednesday, I will get weighed. My hope is to be under 196—but aside from that, I have no numbers in mind. I'd like to be reliably at 185 by Ruby's birthday in July. I hope it doesn't take that long to get there, though.

Breakfast
Three Eggs, Soft-Boiled (Five Minutes)
2 Slices of Turkey Bacon
1 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Lite

Snack
30 Pistachios
6 oz. Yogurt (Plain)
2 Tsps Peanut Butter
12 oz. coffee with unsweetened soy milk

Lunch
Boston Lettuce Salad with Feta, Olives and Tuna Salad
Emily's Chicken Parmesan

Dinner
Emily's Sauteed Chinese Chicken and Cabbage
1 Cheese Stick

I continue to eat peanut butter and pistachios, as I am not yet ready to switch over. If my weight is unsatisfactory, I might change, but I need the nuts and the peanut butter to get through the day. I'm just not sure I can get with the celery sticks at my desk. People do write in about my eating of the eggs—Dr. Agaston says eggs will not lead to a heart attack and do not need to be limited unless advised by your doctor. Since my doctor has not advised me—I will continue to eat them, especially since tomorrow will be my last egg breakfast for a while. I did 4 miles on the elliptical today, and a few rounds on the track. I am ready to go twice a week to the gym. I went to see the fitness professionals, but they weren't there. I'll have to call tomorrow, see what I can get.

321: Journaling

From the South Beach Diet Newsletter (I ask once again, are these people spying on me?) about their new feature, "Journaling:" Use the Journal to jot down your thoughts and feelings, sort through challenges you've faced, and record your successes. Keeping track of your daily progress can help you identify potential weak spots, as well as figure out strategies to overcome them. You can decide whether to keep your entries private or share them with other South Beach Dieters to compare your experiences. You can also read the journals of other members (who have made them public) to understand their challenges, rewards, and experiences. Finally, use the Journal as a food diary by listing everything you eat in a day. Again, you'll learn a lot about your eating habits, and having a record of your food choices will be helpful if your weight loss stalls and you want to consult one of our nutritionists for advice.

Breakfast
2 strips Turkey Bacon
3 eggs, soft-boiled
1 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheese
Tea

Snack
Coffee with Unsweetened Soy Milk
15 Almonds
15 Cashews
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 tsps Peanut Butter

Lunch
Tuna, Salad, Feta, Olives
Coke Zero

Dinner
Emily's Spicy Chicken with Lettuce Wraps
Pickles

What I realized today was that you're not supposed to eat three servings of nuts a day. I think I may know where I'm going wrong. To quote from the "Good Fats, Good Carbs Guide:" "But while nuts are a great source of good fats, they're also very easy to overeat, which can impede weight loss, to be mindful of how many you're consuming. For this reason we limit nuts to one serving daily." So by having Peanut Butter and a serving of nuts, I think I'm double-dipping. Damn. I'm going to have to pick up on the cheese and skip the 2nd nuts course.

Day 320: Rejectionist at the Sheet Cake

On the third of three incredibly warm days, to celebrate an employee having a baby, we all went out to lunch to a Greek place nearby. The food was good, but we ordered a lot (we were hungry). There were appetizers, salad and entrees. Good thing we didn't bring the sheet cake to the restaurant as I had originally planned. After a big meal everyone needed a lot of walking in the crisp day, but instead we went back to the office and sat down and the heat was cranked up so we were all passing out. Around 4:00pm we broke out the sheet cake for the celebration and there was much rejoicing. As usual, I refused the sheetcake, but I can tell you that it was a good one—it just looked incredible. I knew its moistness; I knew its sweetness; I knew its texture. But I did not, in the biblical sense, "know" the sheetcake. Now that's Phase One talking. I would have allowed myself a sliver on Phase Two/Three. Such is my sense of timing.

Breakfast
2 Microwaved Eggs
2 Slices Ham
6 oz. V-8

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese stick
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)
6 oz Plain Yogurt
2 Tsps Peanut Butter

Lunch
Saganaki (Cheese)
Hummus
"Double" Salad with Feta
Beef Kebab with Mushrooms, Peppers and Onions
Green Beans

Dinner
Emily's "Kicked Up" Chicken Salad
Broccoli with Soy
Pickles

It was a regular cheese-fest today, what with a cheese stick for snack, feta on the salad and a dish called "Saganaki" which claims to be "Kaseri Cheese Flambe" but is really just a bowl of boiling hot melted cheese served with a lemon wedge. It happens to be delicious, which is counter-intuitive since it's only claim to fame is resembling the top ingredient of a cheese pizza. However, all of us (except one) consumed two bowls of it (though it's sheep cheese—sorry, M) so they clearly what they're doing. Our dinner was pretty small, which turned out to be a blessing since it was probably the biggest eating day I've had on my second go-round of Phase One. Only three more breakfasts to go before my beloved toast is to return. It's too bad it's a holiday weekend, sure would love to curl up with a Cinnabon. Maybe in the next life.

Day 319: Employee's Blood Sugar Drops, Dies at Desk

I was seeing the headline in my head as the hour grew later. I realize that asking someone to get you lunch who's "going on a few errands" could be a mistake, but at 1:46, after a brisk walk that required no coat, I thought I'd just put my head down on the desk and wait. It was an unbelievable day. I say that because I can't remember a January day where I went on a two mile walk without a coat on. In fact, there's never been a January in my life that I've gone for a two mile walk, but the fact that I had no coat on was also remarkable.

Breakfast
Ham, Cabbage and Feta Omelet
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
2 Cheese sticks
1 Joy Stick
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tsps Peanut Butter

Lunch
Spinach Salad with Mushrooms, Chicken and Tomatoes

Dinner
Shrimp and Sugar Snap Peas

Since I had to eat after my walk (it was around 1:00 and I was hungry) I resorted to a Joy Stick, chased by a Cheese Stick. Though they weren't on my snack plan I really had no choice. When my salad came (minus a fork but with pita bread) I noted that it had peppercorn dressing, not the balsamic I had ordered. So I ate it plain and dressingless. I think that two years ago I could not have done that. I'm not sure that's personal growth, but it is something.

Day 318: Global Warming Allows More Walks

Though having children makes you regret how we're ruining the planet, and commit yourself to whatever we can do to stem the tide of global warming, it's hard not to enjoy the 40, 50 and 60 degree weather during the winter when you get it. Sure it's a guilty pleasure, but except for caffeine and the Internet there aren't too many of those left for a guy who's given up white sugar, white flour and white potatoes. Today the Domania Walking Club went out but as last time it was some slow going with its icy patches and muddy valleys. But we made it anyway, and it felt good.

Breakfast
Celery Broccoli Omelet
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 tsps Peanut Butter

Lunch: Chinese
Beef with Snow Peas
String Beans with Tofu

Dinner
Thai Chicken Soup
Broccoli with Soy Sauce

I remember the hardest part about blogging through certain periods in this diet has been the lack of variety. I'm sorry for anyone who has to look at the same menu again and again; it's not fun. However, I do get to end Phase One on a holiday (Martin Luther King, Jr. Day) as I left my old life on New Year's Day. In related news, I finally realize I have to get rid of my brown belt that I owned prior to starting the diet. I now have to use it on the fifth hole and it still doesn't work. I think it was a waste size 40, so I probably need to get a smaller belt size. I am hoping that I can get weighed Tuesday morning, and I hope that I am in the low 190s—my goal this year is to get to 185, by hook or by crook. If I succeed, maybe I'll celebrate with a Hostess Lemon Pie.

Day 317: The Most Hated Man in the Supermarket

All I have to say is if supermarkets are open until 10PM, then they shouldn't get angry at you when you come in at 9PM and want you to serve them. Is it my fault they've put everything away? I feel hateful, stabbing eye-looks as I trespass through the store, picking things from shelves that supermarket employees thought were perfectly "faced" until I came along. I know they want to go home as early as they can, but THE STORE IS OPEN TILL TEN. At ten, there's plenty of time to put the things away no one would buy. Hopefully, someone will unwrap them and sell them in the morning.

Breakfast
Celery/Broccoli Omelet
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz Plain Yogurt
2 Tsp Peanut Butter

Lunch: Russo's Salad
Red Leaf Lettuce
Grilled Chicken
Onions, Olives, Artichokes
Feta Cheese

Dinner
Rainbow Trout a la Emily
Savoy Cabbage Stir Fry
Fruit 2 O

Walking through the bread aisle was really something. There was an overwhelming yeastiness and I had the sensation of bread-pliancy as one feels when you press on the bread. Bread, Macaroni and Bread all in one aisle. I started to feel like a failure from Breadaholics anonymous. I took a deep breath, took nothing in the aisle, and went to checkout.

Day 316: Out, damn Carrots

Mondays are hard as everyone knows, but Mondays with microwaved eggs and snow to shovel off your stairs are even harder. There's no point in complaining, it's just seven more days now. It does feel good to get through the very tough Phase One, but I've lingered in the freezer looking at the remainder of the Balthazar Rye bread. "Soon my sweet," I have been heard to whisper to it.

Breakfast
2 Microwaved Eggs
3 Slices of Ham
Tea
v-8

Snack
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz Plain Yogurt
2 Tsps Peanut Butter

Lunch
Grilled Chicken on Christos Salad

Dinner
90% Sirloin Burger
Emily's "Crazy" Peppers
Brocoli/Celery Stir-Fry
Pickles

It's amazing that you can be on Phase One and order a salad and still go wrong—last time it was the sugary Balsamic dressing; today it was that the salad was lousy with shredded carrots. You couldn't get them out, they were everywhere. I did pick oil and vinegar dressing, which is very plain but very good. Emily outdid herself tonight—there were three vegetable side dishes. This is good because you can't just do the meat/cheese/nut thing, though I certainly could. When I was getting my salad I noticed the sweet smell of pizza baking, and even though I don't particular care for their pizza, it was captivating nonetheless.

Day 315: Tears at the Birthday Party

Today was a part for my nephew. I have gotten used to eating the cheese of a slice of pizza and only once since I started south beach have I eaten a regular slice of pizza with the dough. It was at Martha's Vineyard and only because they were reported to have "the best pizza on the island," a claim that was either patently false or if true, just so very sad. Anyway, Cheese is not much of a lunch, and I swear that being on the South Beach diet is probably a disaster for my sodium level. Fortunately, I do not add salt to my food and I drink a lot of water. But oy! There's a lot of sodium in this boy's life.

Breakfast
Omelet, Feta and 2 Strips of Bacon
Diet Coke Zero

Snack
30 Almonds/Cashews
1 Joy Stick
Plain Yogurt, 2 Tsps of Peanut Butter

Lunch
Cheese of Six Slices of Pizza

Dinner
Steak Tips
Asparagus
4 Slices of Ham
2 Pickles

A day just begging for vegetables, and finding few. I hoped a salad, maybe, but it just didn't happen. The whole thing is just running around the avoidance of bread and such. 8 More days of eggs for breakfast. Yuch.

314: Quest For Fitness

For people without kids, it is mostly pretty easy to get to the gym. For people with structure, it's probably easy to work this in. When you have kids and no structure, the simple act of getting to the gym can be very difficult. I think this is why for a long time I talked myself out of fitness, or the need for it. I felt like it was a foregone conclusion that I would not go to the gym, so why sign up? Why waste the money? It wasn't really until Emily and I had a love affair with tennis that even sweating seemed really interesting to me. So now I go, and I go once a week, which is not very much, but for those who know me, that is quite a lot. Not just the exercise, but actually being able to get there. Today was quite difficult in that there were several timeslots available and none was working.

Breakfast
2.5 slices of Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
2 Eggs over easy
1 Cheese Stick
Tea

Snack
4 Slices of Ham
About 30 Almonds and/or Cashews
About 30 Pistachios
6 oz V-8 juice
1 Cheese Stick

Lunch
Romaine Salad
Olives
Feta
Tuna
2 Pickles

Dinner
Flounder a la Em, with Scallions
a few bites of Ruby's steak tips
a few bites of the tiny bit of leftovers from last night's dinner

Day 313: A Tale of Two Meals: Breakfast and Dinner

Once again I begin my phase one breakfast hoping that eggs will not cause me to have a heart attack and die. With no hard boiled eggs left and no time to make any to order, I do the old bad-restaurant trick of putting them in the microwave. Even though it's day four of Phase One, Breakfast has basically lost its pleasurability qualities except that it provides a needed respite from hunger pangs.

Breakfast
Two Microwaved Eggs
2 slices of canadian Bacon
V-8
Tea

Snack
coffee (half decaf)
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese stick
6 oz plain yogurt
2 tsps Peanut Butter
1 pickle by Gus

Lunch
Shrimp, Chicken and Broccoli, Snow Peas

Dinner
Chicken-Lettuce Wraps a la Emily
Savoy Cabbage a la Emily
Fruit2-O

I really can't say anything nice about my lunch since it was steamed (but somehow cold) chicken over a sea of uninvitingly cold vegetables, but it must be said that there were a lot of them. This time there was a soy-ginger sauce but it tasted to me like a teriyaki sauce (read: contains sugar) than a soy-ginger sauce.

The real surprise was waiting for me when I got home. Emily had made her crowning achievement—a double Elephant Walk—style dinner that I practically ate all of including the plates. Because lunch was somewhat early today—and the yogurt course was early (2:30, not 3:30) I was quite hungry in the 4:30 time frame and had a pickle even though they are sub-standard. I was famished when I got home. Even though I had a restaurant quality meal, I still wanted something sweet (which seems common after Asian food) but instead of the ricotta dessert that South Beach allows on the Phase One, I skipped and had a fruit 2 o, which though disgusting, contains no calories, no carbs, and nothing that you should be putting in your body.

Day 312: Ho Hum

I'm afraid there just isn't a lot to report. My breakfast and snacks have been the same, and there's nothing that can make swoon for toast like being on Phase One of the South Beach diet. It just goes to prove that I can live without just about anything in my life, but bread, and especially Balthazar bread, which now Emily is addicted to and eating up all the supply before my two weeks is up.

Breakfast
2 Hard Boiled Eggs
2 Slices of Canadian Bacon
6 oz V-8 juice
Tea

Snack
Coffee (12 oz, half decaf)
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz Plain Yogurt, 2 Teaspoons Peanut Butter

Lunch
Salad: Chicken Breast, Olives, Balsamic Vinegar, Feta Cheese, Onions, Red Peppers

Dinner
Shrimp and Baby Bok Choy a la Emily

I did read the South Beach diet book again but I'm not sure if I'm cheating by having three snacks—cheese sticks, pistachios and yogurt with peanut butter. The first go around on phase one I had just a cheese stick or just the nuts, so that might explain why it's been so much easier. Conversely, I might just have figured out how to have the more substantial snack later in the day when it's harder to resist things like cookies. Also, for some unknown reason, I have been able to stave off my consumption of any sweets and fudgicles, lending to credence to the claim by South Beach creators that going on the diet will rid you of the cravings for such things. On my last day before Phase One I did have two Doritos (which I failed to note in this blog) and I realized that you could eat a whole bag of those before you realize you even ate one. That's why I suppose, America is fat. Plus, we love TV.

Farenheit 311

So far being on Phase One is not at all hard (then can I be doing it right?) but it is quite boring. I must keep my routine fairly similar every day because left to my own devices I would veer off to a Balthazar bread orgy. Phase One is really about giving up all the things that are delicious for reasons other than they savory; like fruit. Again, it's not so much of a challenge of "can I do it?" as much as "can I stand it?"

Breakfast
2 Hard Boiled Eggs
2 Slices of Canadian Bacon
6 oz V-8 juice
Tea

Snack
Coffee (12 oz, half decaf)
30 Pistachios
1 Cheese Stick
6 oz Plain Yogurt, 2 Teaspoons Peanut Butter

Lunch
Grilled Chicken/Greek Salad

Dinner
Emily Chicken-Stove Sauteed
Broccoli and Celery Stir-Fry a la Emily

Amazingly I went for a walk today at Domania. At 30 or so degrees there were not a lot of takers, but God bless the one Domaniac who asked if I brought my sneakers. Not only do I have a pair of sneakers at work for just such an occasion but I recently got a pair of high Rockports for walking in cold weather. Happened to be wearing them today, and they were perfect. Though I initially fretted about breaking my hip on the icy streets (we took to the streets because the route around the river was thought to be WAY too treacherous) I relented and was so glad to be out and walking. I don't think I broke a sweat, but I'll tell you that so far it was the highlight of my week, and it was a welcome relief in a day full of business, phone calls, and the like. When I got back I ordered the pound of salad from Christos but in my effort to be super-healthy I asked for balsamic dressing but got some kind of sugary-nonsense that I poured over my salad before realizing it was not pure balsamic. I grumbled to myself and ate it anyway, sure that a little sugar never killed anyone.

Day 310: Phase One, Again

"Any ordinary man would have given it up by now."—The Swanky Modes

This is what I was thinking this morning as I attempt to re-mount a Phase One South Beach diet on the same day that I return to work after nearly two weeks off. As if the deck weren't already stacked, it's snowing outside, I can't find Ruby's snowpants, and in the end it doesn't matter because after we're standing outside for a minute in the cold when I realize that school is cancelled. I have to knock on a neighbor's door to confirm this, and so it's back inside. It was a stressful morning, but I realized that once you set your mind to something, you can't be swayed unless you allow it, or you really didn't have your mind "set."

Breakfast
Two Hard Boiled Eggs
Two Slices of Canadian Bacon
6 oz V8
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
12 oz Coffee (half decaf)
1 Cheese stick
6 oz PLAIN yogurt with 2 tsp peanut butter

Lunch
Steamed Chicken with Vegetables
Soy Sauce (though not the Soy-Ginger sauce the menu had promised)

Dinner
Pan-sauteed chicken
Broccoli
Pickles

Of course, the thing I remember about being on Phase One was how much easier it was to write down what I ate. In just this one day of being back on Phase One I realized how much I had let myself 'indulge' recently, even though by my previous standards of eating a large sub at Mighty Subs ("Our small is their Large"), it wasn't quite indulgent at all. I had basically reduced my eating to three meals and two snacks a day, though at times that was challenging. On this first 'new' day of Phase One, I thought I would need to rely on the fudgicle for dessert as I did on my very first day (http://sobediet.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_sobediet_archive.html). Fortunately, that was not the case, I eased through the night with ease, which basically told me I was lucky to be at 196 with the way I'd been carrying on with my cheese-eating ways.

Day 309: Goodbye Toast

I can't remember who it was, but it was some one I read an interview with (probably Depardieu) was bemoaning the ubiquity of places like Au Bon Pain, specifically one called Bon Jour Pain, America in the late 80s. He said in response that he was going to open up a place in France that served American fare to be called "Hello Toast." That has little merit and even less comedy, but that's what I'm thinking about as I prepare to go on Phase One again. I have mostly done three things to prepare: shop; get my South Beach source material out, and read my first two weeks worth of blogs. While there will be a return to nut-counting, the saddest thing of all will be a temporary separation from my true love, Balthazar Multi-Grain toast with super chunky peanut butter.

Breakfast
Two slices Balthazar Multi-grain toast
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Light Cheddar
Peanut Butter
Tea

Snacks
A bunch o nuts
2 oz. Cracker Barrel Cheese
9 Melba Toast (Whole Wheat) Rounds
1 Jonagold Apple

Lunch
1 Cup Whole Wheat Rotini
Pesto
4 Slices of Black Forrest Ham

Dinner
Whole-Wheat Drenched Tilapia Fry
Sauteed Cabbage a la Emily

I must say that as I was afraid of entering the South Beach diet fray for the first time, I am again somewhat concerned. But I realize now that what it takes is a commitment and a willingness to suffer (if you can call it that) from hunger. Also, from reading the new book South Beach Diet: Good Fats, Good Carbs Guide (Revised) I have been able to learn more about how to eat and what to keep in heavy rotation and what to limit (hint: toast is not in 'heavy rotation'). On the plus side, they have lightened up on the bananas and carrots. I must finally say that none of this would be possible without the support of Emily, who has been my cook, my rock and my friend throughout. Additionally, I need to re-thank everyone at work for being incredibly supportive and helpful and obviously, everyone who's reading this now—I could not keep on without the writing and without readers there would be very little purpose (not none, but a lot less).

Day 308: First Night of 2006; Last Night of Chanukah

Though I know many people who are determined to start some new phase of their lives starting January 1st, I know far less of them that actually succeed. In many ways, this is a totally arbitrary date and has no more meaning to your real life than April 15th, only that people believe it does. I celebrate anyone who's reading this who has committed to changing anything as grand as their lives as or as small as a bad habit, but the only way you're going to succeed is to do it when you're good and ready. I quit smoking March 21st 1997; I quit eating badly Feb 28th, 2004. To this day I have not "fallen off" the wagon of either, but I must also admit that there were no great plans to do either—I just followed a particular path. I was going to list off things I learned this year, but I couldn't think of any. That is, I couldn't think of the ones I had thought of in my head. But I do remember I wanted to tell everyone "don't smell your water bottle—nothing good will ever come of it."

Breakfast
2 Slices of Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread (even Emily said "That's Damn Good Bread")
Peanut Butter
2.5 oz Jalapeno 50% Cheddar

Lunch
Cheese Omelet
Emily's New Wok Broccoli and Celery

Snacks & Such
A few almonds and cashews
a few bites of Turkey Deli Meat (for sampling)
10 Melba Wheat Thins (Whole Grain)
2 oz. Cheddar Cheese

Dinner
Meatloaf
Salad

On Tuesday, I am returning to Phase One. This has been brought on by both my desire to lose more weight and my inability to get past 196 where I was stuck (and probably higher than that following this long holiday season). Due to inclement weather forecast for Tuesday and the rest of this week, I'm not sure whether I'll get weighed this week or next. But make no mistake, I'll be Phase One-ing it.

Day 307: Last Night of 2005, Seventh Night of Chanukah

As weeks go, you can't really get any bigger than Christmas, Chanukah and New Year's all in one. If only Thanksgiving were celebrated on the Chinese year calendar it could have fallen in this week, too. Fortunately it didn't, since we've all had enough by this point. Enough of relatives, parties, social obligations, and the temptations (raise your hand if you want more temptations) that come with them. Tonight some will be out galavanting, and some will watch Ryan Seacrest try to take the wheel from the poor, addled post-stroke Dick Clark. I'm not sure what we'll be doing, but I sure I am glad to be at home with my family. I guess by reading this, you all got home safely, too.

Breakfast
2 Slices of Multi-Grain Balthazar Bread (have figured out perfect Toast setting is a 5)
Super Chunky and Regular Peanut Butter
2-3 oz. Jalapeno Cheddar Lite
Tea

Snack
A few bites of buttered multigrain bread Emily made for Ruby
A few handfuls of air-popped popcorn made for Molly
a few nuts (natch)
50% of a small popcorn at the Movies (Ruby and I saw "Curse of the Were-Rabbit")

Lunch
The remainder of some Tuna salad made for Ruby
The remainder of the Jalapeno Cheese block from this AM

Dinner
Steak Tips
Salad

Dessert
38% of Russian Chocolate Cheesecake Bar (Declined to finish it—do I really need those calories?)
2 bites of Magnolia's Oatmeal (For demonstration purposes)

Like most, I am looking forward to the next two days off, but then there's the issue of the WHOLE WIDE YEAR laying out in front of you. That can be somewhat and unsettling, when you think about where you've been and what you're in for. I heard a song recently that moved me beyond words. I think it's appropriate for this night, and especially for me (how did Irving Berlin know I'd have two children with curly hair?). Of course, reading the simple lyrics without the melody (he knew how to write one, you know, and if you don't, you should be ashamed) doesn't do the song justice, but what can I do? I'm just a simple text-blogger.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS by Irving Berlin

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds

If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep
Counting your blessings