Day 122: Good Neighbors Make Bad SoBe Partners

Emily and I almost never get invited anywhere but tonight we were invited over for dinner by our Russian neighbors down the street. They are absolutely the sweetest, smartest people we know and our daughter loves their daughter, and they have a son that is close in age to magnolia. But for some reason (which is hard to fathom now in hindsight) we did not tell them we were on the SoBe diet (Emily is on the official a la Emily version, a slightly less restrictive but still very serious version). As a result, we were greeted with lots of bread, bread products, things made with sugar, basically everything in the SoBe handbook that has a red line through it. A lot of the food looked yummy so we did our best to eat as much as we could (Ruby, as I was afraid, only would eat noodles. Luckily, our guests had some ready and understood it was the universal food of children). If we did badly during dinner as guests who eat, we failed outright at dessert, where we had to demur both marshmellow filled chocolates AND the seemingly harmless cup of Russian Tea. We explained that it keeps us up at night but somehow we didn't explain ourselves right and they thought we were saying Tea was unhealthy. Ruby had no qualms about filling her mouth with the treats, and wanted more, but we were able to keep her down with just three.

Breakfast
2.5 Strips Louis Rich
2 Eggs O'r' (out of practice, the yolks broke on the first AND second flips)
Tea

Snack
1/4 cup mixed unsalted nuts
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
30 pistachios
30 cashews
1 cup strawberries

Lunch
3 Roll Mops: Turkey, Ham, Mustard
1 Head Romaine Lettuce
Olives to taste

Dinner
Israeli Pickles
Pickled Carrot Strings
2 Bites of a Potato Salad Like Thing
1 Chicken Thigh
Greek Salad with Feta
The Inside of a Feta-Pudding Cake (which was YUMMY—I had a small bite of the outside, which was tender and flaky).
3 caviar eggs (@!*#&$ It's official. I don't like caviar).
1 glass Semi-Sweet Georgian Wine

I'm going to go for a VERY fast walk tomorrow. And eat a lot of salad.

Day 121: Why I Was Fat for So Long

For a long time I can remember various women in my life trying to get to me to participate in some kind of program—weight loss, diet, exercise, anything. For a long time, I didn't do anything. I just got heavier. Or I tried to watch what I was eating. No matter where I started, I ended up back to eating badly and being heavy. Sure, there was a fear of commitment, but there was something else, which was fear of failure. I knew that exercise was a component, and more than a few times I got on my exercycle and gave it a good 30 minute work out. But I wasn't committed, I had no plan, and I loved to eat. I didn't commit to getting up early to raise my metabolism, or any of that stuff. Most importantly, I remained heavy for two big reasons: I loved to eat and I hated to sweat. With the exception of playing tennis, I just absolutely hated to break into a sweat. And I think this led me to want to avoid going to a gym. Why would I go to a gym to sweat? It was like a weekly trip to the dentist. I think that's also something that I lucked out on this time around—the JCC, for all its faults, is a place of very little pressure. Unlike the first gym I joined —The Joy of Movement in Kenmore Square, 1983—the JCC is full of older, heavier, nebbishy people. There's no pumped up men or perfect 10 women going in and out. I'm not jockeying for a machine. I'm a fairly young (and fit) person by the JCC standards, so it's easy to walk tall. I never realized that part of avoiding gyms was avoiding the people I hated in high school, and still hate to this day. It's not that some good people don't go to those popular gyms, but nobody popular goes to the JCC. And that's why it's the gym for me.

Breakfast
Mastemacher Bread
Peanut Butter
5 Strawberries
1 oz Jalapeno Cheddar

Snack
1/4 Cup Mixed Unsalted Nuts
30 Cashews
30 Pistachios
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
3 Roll Mops: Ham, Turkey, Low-fat Mozzarella, Mustard
1 Head Romaine
Several Olives, Pitted

Dinner
Shrimp over Salad
Broccoli with Still More Jalapeno Cheddar

Did feel like a big eating day, but then, there was a brisk Domania walk to go with it. I have definitely concluded that I am officially down one whole pants size. My pants are like nowhere near where they used to be. The most amazing disappointment about the whole weight loss experience is that my body still seems, essentially unchanged. That is, nearly everything feels better—especially my back and feet, and the snoring is better and I have more energy and stamina, but I still feel like myself. When am I going to look like Antonio Banderas?

Day 120: Detecto Says 199.99999999

Since pounds are tabulated in ounces, this headline isn't quite as funny or accurate as I would have liked it to be. But today, at weigh-in, Donna put it on 200 and said "let's see if 200—nope," and then had to switch to the next lower setting, which is the 100, on the 50 setting, and then move the little scale-thing to 49.9999999. Since the scales are only formulated by halves, it's not clear that I weigh significantly less than 200 lbs; only that it was LESS than 200. Now this is a win of the John F. Kennedy election variety; I am not resting on my laurels, I have got 3.99999 lbs to lose in 4 weeks, and for those of you counting, thats a pound a week. Honestly, I don't know if I can do it, but if I can be at around 197 at the next weigh-in, in the words of Paul McCartney, THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING. IT REALLY WOULD BE SOMETHING.

Breakfast
1 cup strawberries
6 oz yoplait vanilla
15 almonds

Snack
1/4 cup mixed unsalted nuts
1 much-older than I would have liked Granny smith apple
1 cheese stick

Lunch
Greek Salad with Beef

Dinner
Rainbow Trout with Bok Choy a la Em
2 oz Light Jalapeno Cheddar
Broccoli and Peppadew Salad
3 bites of Ruby's hamburger

Even though the day started with a 'bang,' I was seriously hungry all day, and I realized with great sadness how much being at work is like being in a car on a hot day with a sleeping, cranked-out baby. I just kept wanting to reach for something to eat, and I have to remind myself that it's OK to be hungry. When you combine actually being hungry with being bored and wanting to eat to allay your boredom, that's a tough time to be strong. But it's no so hard when Donna tells you the news. Also, it did not escape my notice that the only time I didn't lose weight via Detecto was when that other nurse weighed me in. Now that Donna's back, it's all downhill from here....I mean on the scale of course. I am thinking about what meal I would celebrate with for my birthday. Chinese? Pizza? Sheet cake? For some reason, all I could think of today was how much I miss Cinamon Crunch (Jeane La Foot, pictured here). I don't think they make it anymore, but I might spend the day after Ruby's birthday eating every breakfast cereal there is, then going back to the diet. Because the truth is, I still need to get into the 180s. It may take a long time, but I am going to get there. Of course, I might be four feet tall by the time I do...

Day 119: Can the Healing Begin?

It's always bad when I wake up, eat and THEN feel really hungry. It's a sign of something, and I'm not sure what, but I know it's not good. Today was such a day, but for inquiring minds, I did get to the gym, even though I briefly flirted with doing laps at the pool. I figured the heat made it a bad day for that, and I was right—the pool, and its lap-lanes were brimming with people. The opportunity came because one of Ruby's friends was having a 'clay party' at the JCC where the parents invited other parents to do whatever they wanted at the JCC and then come back for cake. Eschewing the cake, I did just that—32 minutes on the elliptical. I didn't too much more because it was VERY hot in the gym; I didn't have my iPod; and I didn't want to miss the exciting cake-cutting ceremony.

Breakfast (7:30 am)
Mastmecher Bread
1 Tsp Peanut Butter
1.5 Tsps Peanut Butter
Coffee

Morning Snack (10:30am)
1 Hard Boiled Egg
25% of 1 Ham Steak
1 Cheese Stick

Lunch (3:00 pm)
Salad with Tuna
Jarlsberg Cheese
Peppadews

Afternoon Snack
1/4 Mixed Unsalted Nuts
Coke Zero

Dinner (7:00pm)
Hamburger with Onions, Red Peppers and Barbecue Sauce
Broccoli
Pickles
20 Peanuts

With much trepidation I lay myself down to sleep, and fret that once again, I will come up against Detecto and once again, I will start the week out from a very, very bummed-out position.

Day 118: Return from New York

If you went to college, you can remember "pulling an all-nighter." Aside from studying for exams or writing papers, there were events that happen in college that seemed to insist that you stayed up all, or most of the night (or part of the night that a normal person would be sleeping) for. Having a child returns you to that somewhat, as you never know when sickness, bad dreams, or a child's glimpse of Darth Vader in a preview for Star Wars that comes unexpectedly prior to the G-rated Incredibles might also keep you burning the midnight oil. During those times many people ponder two serious questions. One, how will I function tomorrow? And two, what is there to eat? Sadly, for those on a diet program, the questions must stop at number one, even though the problems from having children may continue, unabated. So it went that Magnolia, fresh from what many parents would have rated "a very poor" night of sleep, had her worst night of sleep ever. She was up at 1:30am, where I joined emily and we stayed up trying to cajole her until about 3:10am, when, loaded with infants tylenol, we tried to get her back down again, which we succeeded in doing for all of 90 minutes, when she was up again at 4:40something. To cut to the chase, at 6:00am I put her in the car and drove for two hours. When I got back, she had been quite for about an hour and slept maybe 15 minutes. During that time, I stopped at a gas station (which woke her up) to get gas as we were leaving for boston in a few hours. The gas station proffered many delicious treats including donughts, which if I had been any less of man, would have been the end of the diet. The real point of this story, is that I came back to the house (where the other three people staying there got a little relief from the endless crying) and passed out for an hour and half. When I woke up, slightly out of my mind, our hosts made us breakfast, which besides being totally unSoBe, was incredibly delicious, and eaten without any question.

1st Breakfast (Around 8am)
1/2 cup Blueberries
Blueberry Yoplait yogurt

2nd Breakfast (Around 10:45am)
3 Strips Bacon
3 Sausages
At least 3 Eggs
Coke Zero (coffee was not ready and I couldn't wait)

On the Road, Again
1/4 cup mixed unsalted nuts
mucho strawberries

Arrive Back in Boston
1 Hard Boiled Egg
1 Cheese Stick

Dinner
Caesar Salad
Cheese of about Five Slices of Pizza

Aside from worrying that Magnolia could perform a feat of superhumanness and stay up for three hours while we drove, the fact that that temperatures were climbing into the high 90s was also a source of tension. Add not enough sleep and a diet in shambles and it would have made for a hard car ride, except we were all doing our best to be totally quiet. We had to stop at the first Mass Pike service station, where a friendly old man claiming to be a farmer's market was selling strawberries. I bought some and ate a lot of them on the way home. That's when I realized that hungry people trapped in a car will eat anything that's in front of them. Glad I don't travel with Hostess Lemon Pies (hostess.com/lemonpies).
When we got back to Boston, we had guests coming over with kids; and you know on a 90 degree day that means take-out pizza. So I made the best of it, and once again swore like a sailor and promised myself I would go to the gym the next day (if I could get some sleep).

Day 117: Upstate NY, Day Two

Upon waking up and reviewing my blog on the computer, not online, since absence of high-speed cable has prevented me from posting, I once again am determined to get in there with Detecto and make a good go of it. So today I was determined not to repeat yesterday's fiasco.

Breakfast
1 cup strawberries
6 oz Yoplait lite vanilla (which I'm noticing actually has a bit of a chemical taste to it)
1/4 cup mixed unsalted nuts (chopped up)

Lunch
1 Medditerranean burger
Chicken Breast
Broccoli and Cauliflower
More Salad

Snack
2 Slices of Cheddar Cheese

Dinner
King Salmon
Red Leaf Salad
Slices of Gouda Cheese
1 Cherry

I did get out on the tennis court today, but it was so hot/humid that I wilted in under 1 hour. So far I have had some kind of exercise almost every day this week; I'm hoping to get to the gym on Sunday, so it could be a huge exercise week. I want to make sure I break into the 190s. Though clearly keeping the eating down is the big, big challenge. On the plus side, I've been surrounded by the greatest ice cream and I've avoided even one bite so far.

Day 116: A SoBe DisasterDay

Because I knew we would be on the road and probably not eating properly, I tried to have a bigger than average breakfast of three eggs (one yolk broke, i threw it out and broke the next yolk) and 2.5 bacons strips. That was at 8:30am-by 11:00am when it looked like we were ready to leave, I figured I better eat something else because this was my last chance. Overall I thought I was doing very well, but when we got to NY, we played tennis got really hungry, and then devoured a table full of SoBe no-nos: soprasetta, sausage, blue cheese, turkey thighs and more. Felt like I went off the deep end; but maybe if we can get some more tennis in tomorrow it will be OK.

Breakfast
3 Eggs: 2 successfully over easy, 1 broken
2.5 Strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
Tea

Pre-On the Road Snack
1 Slice Mastemacher Bread
1 Tsp Peanut Butter
8 Oz coffee

On the Road, Official
1/4 cup mixed unsalted nuts
6 oz yoplait light
1 joy stick
1 granny smith apple
Several Handfuls of Salted Peanuts

@ Jane's
70% meat of one small chicken breast
cabbage slaw
white bean salad

Dinner
4 Slices Sausage, Soprasetta
3 chunks blue cheese
3 Slices of Ham
Tilapia Wraps (just the insides)
8 Strawberries (just fantastic)
1/2 Turkey Thigh
Ungodly amount of Provolone
roasted squash, peppers and onions mix

It's good that we played about 90 minutes of tennis that helped (maybe) raise my metabolism a bit. In Emily's sister's bathroom there is a scale, and at night, after dinner, with clothes on, I weighed myself. 192. I asked her how far her scale is off: she said "it's a good six pounds less than the gym scale." Even at 7 lbs, that could be good.

The bottom line is that when in a program, a diet, as in life, you have to make choices. And you can't really determine the properness/correctness of that choice until a few choices later. In retrospect, if I had packed a lunch or thought I was going to have lunch we arrived, I would have been better off than if I had tried to pass off all my snacks as lunch. Well, tomorrow is another day.

Day 115: Are You Still Reading This?

Another weird day. My horoscope (though I don't often read it) proclaimed that I would be "emotional and one sided." We were up and early to get to the car to the dealer, and when I arrived (on time) and settled in, I realized my computer had no battery and promptly shut down as I was accessing the free wireless network. Feeling emotional and one-sided, I started my snack at 9:21 (mixed nuts) followed by the cheese stick (9:35). There wasn't much to do but read the Wall Street Journal which I did, which featured a story about how General Mills is going to advertise sugary cereals for kids are good for them. There's more to the story, but that's the gist. En route to work I stopped at Wild Basil, a new prepared foods place in Newtonville. I got what I thought was a lot of food— a 1/2 pound of balsamic string beans with feta and dried apricots and a little more than 1/4 pound of balsamic chicken with red & yellow peppers and olives. I started eating at 11:50ish. And wouldn't you know it, I was hungry again before too long. To top it off, there was yet another (not as) brisk Domania walk, that made me RAVENOUS when I came back to the office, forcing me to eat 15 almonds and ANOTHER cheese stick. Sheesh.

Breakfast
Mastemecher Bread
1.5 Tsps Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack
Coffee (Dunkin Donuts Medium, 1/2 Decaf)
1/4 Cup Mixed, Unsalted Nuts
2 Cheese Sticks
6 Oz. Lite Yoplait
15 Almonds

Lunch
1/2 Lb Balsamic String Beans with Feta, Dried Apricots
1/4+ lb Balsamic Chicken with Yellow/Red Peppers and Olives

Dinner
Chicken Breast atop Greek Salad
1 Hard Boiled Egg

Yes, I was hungry, and did not want to stop eating. Tomorrow is a road trip and in previous years, going West to Emily's sister meant a full-out yummy eatfest. But I suppose this year it will be a SoBe fest (except for Ruby, who will eat her weight in ice cream). In any case, on the road means 'en garde.'

Day 114: S-L-O-W

The title refers to my metabolism. Why isn't it faster? Higher? Must I exercise every day? How much harder is this than I thought? Today was not bad, as diet day. I managed to skip many potential SoBe fatalities like pancakes with maple syrup (made Ruby for breakfast); delicious jasmine rice (at the Indian restaurant for lunch) and of course, french fries everywhere—it's the smell and taste of summer. It's one thing that I've noticed alot this month—that the lilting warmer air carries on it the smell of barbecues near the residential areas and the smell of deep fried something, anything near the more urban centers. I find it intoxicating, just as I did when I repeatedly stuck my beak in a vat of chocolate at work.

Breakfast
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
2 Eggs Over Hill and Dale
Tea
1 Cheese Stick

Snahken
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1/4 cup mixed, unsalted nuts
2 Almonds
5 Peanuts
20 Pistachios
1 Joy Stick
12 oz Sprite Zero (which I suppose counts as 1.5 servings)

Lunch
Chicken Vindaloo (without the potatoes)
Onion relish (probably had a lot of sugar in it)
Yogurt something or other.

Dinner
Salad a la Emily (Romaine, Grilled Asparagus, Cilantro, Feta)
90% Sirloin Burger with Peppers and Onions
Broccoli
Pickles

Dinner was great, and made more intense by how hungry I was. I realize now that what I loved about Indian food was its carbs—jasmin rice, and poori (poofed up bread) on the side; as well as deep fried things for appetizers. Now that those were all out, I had to stick to meat in sauces—and lots of onion relish. I'm sure all those relishes-for-free in Indian restaurants are full of sugar, but I had no choice, I had to eat. When I got back to work I waited as long as I could for the snack—but it's worse (obviously) when all I do is think about "where is the next snack coming from." It's not intentional, but I notice that between tasks at work, I am frequently distracted by this thought. I tried to solve the problem by having a sprite zero—but that only distracted me for about 10 minutes. After the joystick, I was still hungry and considered having a second one—at 100 calories and no net carbs they're not that bad—but I decided to stick it out. Until an hour later when I decided to have 20 pistachios. Then I threw the bag away. I am, as usual, nutsed out.

Mean, Lean 113

Trying to 'turn up the heat' I went for a walk today following my three-mile go on the Elliptical. It was a near-perfect day for walking, which as usual, made me ravenously hungry and unattractively sweaty. I found it impossible to keep to my 1-snack routine and had an apple and a joy stick. But I think I'll get in another walk this week, and when we head west, I can hopefully play some tennis. I'll show that Detecto.

Breakfast
3 Pieces When Pigs Fly Low Carb Bread
Peanut Butter, the amount it takes to cover the above
tea

Snackz
1 Cheese Stick
1 Apple (GS)
1 Joy Stick
1/4 cup mixed unsalted nuts
12 oz coffee
20 oz Coke zero

Lunch
Sashimi Salad: Baby Greens, Lemon-Wasabi dressing

Dinner
Chicken a la Em
Stir-Fry Cabbage, Onions and Peppers

The low-carb bread doesn't toast. That's the first thing you have to know. I put it on "7"—the highest toast setting twice, and it almost erupted in flames, but never became deliciously dark, only near-toxically burnt. This is because it is not made of bread, but something unholy. I ate it anyway.

I am feeling slightly better about the nut program, because I found my 1/4 cup scoop so I now I am assured that I am actually eating the allowed amount, instead of before when I was using my liquid measure, which is nearly impossible to get a nut-measurement right.

I must also comment on Coke Zero—I bought a 20 oz bottle, which claims it has 2.5 servings in it. Now it's ridiculous enough to even SELL a 20 oz bottle without claiming that a serving is 8 ounces. There may be a group of people out there who think 8 ounces is enough soda AND simultaneously can't believe it's not butter, but I haven't met any of them.

Lastly on my food-carping: The sashimi salad at Not Your Average Joe's is excellent, but it used to come with wasabi on the side. When I questioned the waitress, about something that might cost 39¢, she pretended she didn't know what I was talking about and denied the salad ever came with wasabi, pointing to the dressing and saying "it's lemon-WASABI dressing" as if I were confused about where the wasabi might be. I have been eating that salad for almost three years now, and I know that it came with wasabi. Secondly, it comes with pineapple in it, which it does not list on the menu (I helpfully pointed this out to the world-weary Joe's employee). I ate two pieces thinking it was mango before I pushed them onto my bar plate—it reminds me a little of bit of the beginning of the diet when I realized 'treachery is everywhere'— because even when you're trying to eat well they're sticking little unbilled pieces of highly-glycemic fruit into your salad.

Damn, that's cold.

Day 112

I did get to the gym today, in case people were wondering. It took a few weeks, but I made it. And when I got there, hardly anyone was there. They have a sign up board for the machines, and I dutifully signed up, though I feared no encroachment from any other gym goers. It was a motley crew in there; a few older, heavier men. I think I was the thinnest man under 50 in the room. I may have been the only man under 50. The TVs were on CNN news and I was forced to endure Wolf Blitzer's interview with Condaleeza Rice which almost made me want to stop working out. I laughed outloud though, when they flashed up a preview of the next show: "Countdown to Terror." That was as preposterous a thing as I've ever seen on TV.

Despite the CNN broadcast, I was able to do 45 minutes on the elliptical exercise machine, which is also a total of 3 miles. It was a pretty big deal for me, even though I wasn't going mad on the machine, I was just using the 'quick workout' feature. Then I walked twice around the track, just to get some of the jelly out of my legs. I had a good mind to get home and bike with Ruby, but I had to set about eating the contents of the refrigerator first. By the time I was done with that, she was on to something else.

Breakfast
Eggs a la Robert
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
Coffee, black

Snack
6 oz yogurt, 'lite' yoplait
with 15 almonds
and 1 cup strawberries
Mas strawberries
1 cheese stick (split with Magnolia—well, split isn't the right word)
20 peanuts

Lunch
Salad with Tuna Salad, Feta, Peppadews

Dinner
Steak Tips Teriyaki
Stir-fried cabbage

I recently switched from Jennie-O Turkey Bacon to Louis Rich Turkey Bacon, which is an Oscar Mayer product. I had also tried Applegate's Turkey Bacon (from Whole Foods) but it was much too Turkey-esque. I really like my Turkey Bacon to taste like Bacon, not Turkey. It's silly to hold a turkey flavor against the bacon, but if you try it you'll know what I mean. The last trip I made to Star/Shaw's (aka the Worst Supermarkets in Massachusetts) they only had Louis Rich and Jennie-O EXTRA LEAN Turkey Bacon. I was flabbergasted—I don't want it to be ANY MORE LEAN THAN IT ALREADY IS. I WANT TO BE EATING SOMETHING FATTIER. Aghast at what a leaner version of Jennie-O might taste like, I opted for the Louis Rich, which I'm sure is made with twice as much of whatever makes something like that bad for you. But I thought that Jennie-O, though delicious, is probably bad too, or else Whole Foods would sell it (the worst kind of consumerism logic). Anyway, the Louis Rich is very yummy, and it even looks more like bacon (more evidence that it is made with bad things in it) but you really have to cook it to crispy. Unlike real bacon, it's not good at that 'just under crispy' phase.

Day 111: The Day After

Most days after poker I am obviously slow to get up. Sitting in a room full of cigar smoke and and eating for five hours straight, plus staying up late is not exactly a recipe for greeting the day with a smile. Always though (and Father's Day is no exception) Ruby beckons me between 7 and 8. This is usually not to early, but after Poker it can be tough. However, the SoBe diet believe it or not, has made it somewhat easier to get up and out, and this morning Emily wanted me to take Magnolia, so the three of us set out for a few errands so she could get some shut-eye. When we got back, I insisted that Ruby and I go to the strawberry festival and we lit out. It is fortunate for me that I find the concoction they make there (biscuit, strawberries in sauce, whipped cram) unfathomably uninteresting, so it was easy to skip. However, just pik'd strawberries have turned out to be my weakness, so I did probably double my proper intake there. It did feel like a big eating day, as you will be able to tell from the menu below.



Breakfast
6 oz yoplait yogurt
1 Cup strawberries
15 Almonds (unsalted)
Tea

Lunch
2 Eggs Over Easy
2.5 Strips Turkey Bacon (Oscar Meyer, Not Jennie-O)
Salad of Broccoli, Peppadew, Cauliflower, Snow Peas.
1 Cheese Stick
Coke Zero (it tastes different enough from Diet Coke, surprisingly. I liked it)

Snack
Mas Strawberries
2 Slices Ham
1/2 Cheese Stick (split with Magnolia)
Pickles
30 Pistachios

Dinner
Salad with Lettuce, Broccoli, Cauliflower, Snow Peas, Scallions
1 Slice Ham
Brisket

On reflection, it probably wasn't so big an eating day, except that I had my snack for Breakfast and my breakfast for lunch, so I was thrown off some. Since I had my snack for breakfast, I had to have another snack for snack, and by dinner I wasn't sure what I had had. Since I had had almonds for breakfast (lower in calories than Grape-Nuts) I resisted dipping into the nuts and stuck to my old phase one- nut counting ways and went with the 30 pistachios. Tomorrow, the gym.

Day 110: Yet Another Poker Game

Facing the prospect of another card game, I once again try to plan out what I'm going to eat in the day. Early on, I lose the battle by ravenously attacking my 1/4 cup of nuts as soon as I get to the office. Later, I lose the battle by not being able to think too much about lunch as I chose walking over a leisurely H2Otown lunch. The lunch from Panera was fine, though uninspired. When I got home before the game I had a yogurt, just so I wouldn't go crazy at the game, but alas, being around five men who will eat anything always gets the best of me. I didn't eat anything non-sobe, I just ate so much more of it. We did go for a brisk Domania walk today, though, so maybe I got the metabolism thing going for me today.

Breakfast
Eggs, TB & Tea (you know by now, don't you?)

Snack
12 oz coffee
1/4 Cup Mixed, Unsalted Nuts
6 oz yoplait blueberry "lite" yogurt
16 oz diet coke

Lunch
Greek Salad with Chicken

Poker Snacks
Olives
Peppadews (http://www.peppadew.com/webroot/america/america_born%20wild.htm)
12 Pepperoni Slices
2 Cheese Slice
1 Cheese Stick
Ass't Nuts (probably about a cup)
Pickles (if you like Pickles, you owe it to yourself to visit http://bubbies.com/dills.shtml)

Dinner (can you believe there's still dinner?)
Steak Tips
Swedish Meatballs (though not so Swedish, really)
Chik'n Nuggets
Salad, Salad, Salad

You can't read the above list with anything but jaw-dropping alarm, but the truth is, when you're losing, eating is a lot more tempting than when you are winning. I try to bring a lot of free foods (pickles, olives) but the other stuff (cheese, nuts) is just so darn appealing. Then the protein comes out, but it's all quite small. Each steak tip is like half the size of a halloween mini chocolate, so you eat quite a few of them. But I always take the most salad. No matter what, I NEVER EVER feel as bad as I used to when my poker diet consisted of chips, chips, chips, sugary soda, subs and lots of dessert (I can hardly believe it myself). Even as a group it's clear that we eat less of that stuff— we probably can skip the trips to Costco and just get a few 'big grabs.' For me, this is probably the loosest I ever get on the diet. Until July...

Day 109

In the diet-doldrums today. Am tired, and hungry, and still far from my goal. Also, last walk with Domania Walking Gang made me feel like I had never walked before. Not a good sign. Also, I continue to dream of devouring the Newman-O's factory.

Breakfast
Mestemacher Bread (http://www.germandeli.com/meorryespbr.html)
1 Tsp Peanut Butter (http://www.teddie.com/peanutbutter.html)
Tea (http://www.bigelowtea.com/shop/details.cfm?si=1&sc=1&pi=00105)

Snack
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)
1/4 cup mixed unsalted nuts
1 Joy stick (http://thejoystick.com/)
1 cheese stick (http://thejoystick.com/)
12 oz. Sprite Zero (http://sprite.com/)

Lunch (Chinese, Split)
Sliced Chicken with Broccoli
Shredded Pork with Peppers and Celery

Dinner
Breast of Chicken
Snow Peas
Broccoli
Asparagus
Cauliflower

Am finding the will to go without snacks most of the day, but as usual, the end of the day is a challenge. I almost gnarfed up Ruby's cherries when I was bringing them to her in the bath. Tomorrow is the poker game—always a difficult SoBe night.

Day 108: Welcome Back My Friend, Hunger

Though at one point today I was thinking "resolve is an appetite suppressant", that thought was short lived, as after dinner tonight, I felt a nut-jones coming on and after 10 peanuts I had to "get my gum on" to get it under control. The reason I was interacting with the peanuts (roasted, salted) is that Ruby has them for a bath-snack, so I had to mule them upstairs, but found it too tempting and had some. For the balance of tonight, I felt my first serious night-hunger pangs in quite a while. I was really famished. On top of it all, Magnolia is absolutely miserable, and wailing like a banshee. So that was probably fueling my desire to eat an entire package of Newman-Os. Luckily, I resisted.

Breakfast
2 Eggs, Over Easy
Turkey Bacon (2 Strips)
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (1/2 decaf)
1/4 cup mixed, unsalted nuts
1 Granny smith Apple
12 oz Sprite Zero

Lunch
Greek Salad with Grilled Chicken
No dressing

Dinner
Tilapia a la Emily
Snowpeas
10 Peanuts

Today, on my way back to phase one like behaviors, I thought I could skip caffeine, but I renounced that plan because I have been so tired and had half-a regular coffee today. I also realized that a can of sugar-free, carb-free soda could be a GREAT snack since it fills you up and it has no calories. Of course, it's terrible for you. Lastly, I have decided to keep myself on a two-snack a day habit—as SoBe intended. They allow for you to have dessert too, but who needs that aggravation. Not me, I'd rather have dinner and be done with it. Also, today featured the Domania Walking Group's most brisk walk ever. After it was done, I had really broken a sweat, and I realized I'M NOT EXERCISING ENOUGH.

Day 107: The Long Road Back

I don't want anyone who reads to think that I have it hard. I don't. But in my life, Monday was kind of a hard day. Then came Monday night. When I got home through the swampy, hot, mosquito-laden air that surrounded Massachusetts, I realized that our air conditioning was not working properly: cold air was not coming through the registers. After I came home, an hour of chaos followed where Em and I dealt with the aftermath of Ruby suffering from being attacked by a vicious band of marauding mosquitos and Magnolia coming down with Roseola (http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/skin/roseola.html). When they were both asleep (a state neither would remain in for the evening) I checked out the air conditioning and was alarmed to find the pipes were both frozen (with actual ice on them) and dripping. Of course I realized this as I was standing on the wet carpet below. Calling the AC guys they said "turn it off and let the compressor get unfrozen." The thought of turning off the A/C even when it wasn't working was making me sweat. But we did it, and then we spent the next six or seven hours like when we were poor college kids during the summer—trying to sleep, but too busy sweating and being uncomfortable to get the job done. And both kids were up several times with their maladies. By 4:30AM I was ready to use M&Ms intravenously. Luckily, I passed out from dehydration before I could set up the works.

Breakfast
2 Eggs O'er Trouble Water
Turkey B-b-bacon
Tea

Snack
1/4 Cup Mixed, Though Unsalted Nuts
1 6 oz Yoplait Apple Cobbler Yogurt

Lunch
Tuna Salad, on a bed of lettuce, celery
Cheese Stick

Dinner
90% Sirloin Burger
Pickles & Hot Peppers
Greek Salad with Tomatoes

So again, my resolve is to get back to losing weight, and to be under 200 by Ruby's birthday. This will entail: less carbs, less nuts and simply, less volume. Of course, it will help if my car will make it to July, and the house with it. Assuming that all goes well, and there is a break from the heat (which of course will happen simultaneously with the A/C being fixed) I should be able to get really back on the elliptical horse and get this thing done. If it sounds like I'm saying the same thing a lot, it's because I need a lot of pep talk right now.

Day 106: Detecto Says 203—"Nyah, Nyah"

First plateau is a very bad place to start the week. Recriminations fester, to quote "Slit Skirts." Was it the wine? The nuts? The unbelievably muggy weather that forced me inside and kept me from walking? Was it skipping the gym and failing to swim? Was it the weight of muscle? South Beach clearly says that you should keep adding carbs, dairy, etc. to your diet until you either stop losing or gain. That's how you know how much you can have in your diet. Well I guess I have found out. I know, from looking back at my diet (and even when I was writing it down during the weeks) that I had gotten to 'a lot of eating.' For instance, I went from about 45 nuts a day to more—through the 'nut mix.' Also, I went from carefully controlled nut varieties (mostly almonds and pistachios) to them all—walnuts, pecans, filberts, hazelnuts, peanuts. I went from eating a yogurt every third day to eating one nearly every day and added the 'joy sticks'—also which I ate every day. If this week (with its continual muggy weather) has anything to offer it's that I need to "get back" to more phase-y one stuff. Eggs/Bacon for breakfast; two snacks a day, skip the caffienated coffee (OK, that will be hard) and make sure I get to the gym or the pool. My default position from my goal is to get under 200 by Ruby's birthday—and that's just four pounds away, in about five weeks. If I can't get that off me, then I truly have gone 'nutso.'

Breakfast
1 Cup All-Bran/Grape Nuts
1 Cup Strawberries
3/4 Cup Fat Free Milk
Tea

Snack
1/4 Cup Mixed, Unsalted Nuts
1 Cheese Stick
1 Granny Smith Apple
12 oz. coffee (all decaf)

Lunch
2 Poached Eggs
1 Ham Steak
Green Salad with Oil & Vinegar

Dinner
Mixed Fish with Brocolli and Snow Peas

So today, all day I was conscious of not eating again. I ate the granny smith apple during a particularly long training session at work, and I suspected I could have gone without it if I had had a little more guts. Then I had a cheese stick after dinner because I was still hungry. I realize that I have to get back to basics this week, and with cooler weather, I should be able to be in a better place in two weeks. And BTW, there was a different nurse weighing me today; and we were in exam room #4 (where I got weighed last time). I'm just saying, that's all.

105: Detecto Ready to Punish

Well, the weekend is over, and there was no trip to the gym, bicycling, or lap swimming. It was SO hot that that there wasn't much to do but stay inside, though I did get my family to the pool on Sunday at 3:37 only to find out that the pool was closing at 4:00pm due to an obscure Jewish holiday. Though I love my heritage, I was really gorked out at having to tell Ruby after 20 minutes that she had to get out of the pool, especially since it took us like an hour and half to get ready to drive five minutes to get there. All in all, we still did better than the family of five that ARRIVED at four o'clock,only to have to turn around, with their towels and cooler, and what I presume were the inconsolable long faces of the children.

Breakfast
2 Eggs Over Easy (absolute perfection, I'm ready to be a short-order cook)
2 Strips Turkey Bacon (I am keeping JO in business)
Tea

Snack
Nuts-a-Nutso
2 Strawberries
6 oz blueberry Yoplait lite (eaten in six bites)
1 tsp peanut butter

Lunch: Porktopia
Slices Pepperoni, Toscano Salami
Goat & Sheep Cheese
Broccoli
Peppadew Peppers
Some More Eggs
1/2 Dragon Stick

Dinner: Chinese Take-away
Chilean Sea Bass (must I remind you: Patagonian Toothfish)
Shrimp, Avocado, Tomato & Onion
1 Beef Teryaki Stick

Not feeling especially bullish on the whole weigh-in tomorrow, but on the plus side, shorts that Emily and I bought just six weeks ago now officially will not stay up on me without a belt. I appeared like one of those hip youngsters with the pants hanging way down low, except that I was neither young nor hip. But I did resolve never to go out without a belt again. Even my swim trunks were not staying on me. So that's something. We'll see what Detecto has to say.

Day 104: Who Knows What I Ate

As the company-weekend continues, I struggle to keep all the things that crossed my hands and into my mouth in my head so I can write them down. It's not easy.

Breakfast
1 Cup-ish McCan's Oatmeal (Steel Cut)
1 Cup-ish blueberries/raspberries
1 pak Splenda
Coffee

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
1 Granny Smith Apple
1 6 oz Apple Cobbler Yoplait Lite (don't ask)
Handfuls of Roasted, Salted Peanuts (probably up to a 1/2 cup or more)

Lunch
Greek Salad
Grilled Chicken


Dinner (if you can call it that)
Chicken with Onions and Peppers
1 Slice cappicola
2 Slices Drunken Goat Cheese
3 Peppadew Peppers
1 Big Strawberry


So I got a new oatmeal—the kind that comes in the white, metal can and costs six dollars. I remember a long time ago my mother-in-law gave me a can and suggested I eat it for breakfast. I'm not sure, but I think I relegated it to a back cupboard, moved it a few times, and finally tossed it. When I looked at the can this morning, I remembered why: 1 serving takes over 30 minutes to prepare. You are to boil water; add oatmeal; stir until it gains thickness; THEN simmer for 30 minutes. The last line of the ingredients: "Do Not Overcook." I thought, okay, I've been slumming it with the Quaker Oats and I didn't even know it. Now I'm in for the real oatmeal experience. No, that's not it. It's just that oatmeal without milk, butter, sugar or something that's just like one of those things (excepting I Can't Believe It's Not Butter) isn't all that yummy. And it still didn't 'keep me going till lunch.' But maybe that's me, and not the oatmeal. Maybe I'm not eating ENOUGH oatmeal. You make about 1 cup then it seems like it doubles in volume. I'll keep working with it, and see what comes of it.

Day 103: Company Comes

My father and stepmother have arrived, and they are both on Atkins (the more carb-repressive diet cousin of South Beach). As a result, I am much more prepared, food-wise for their visit then I was last time, but I got a few more to complement our diet-friendly house like an array of meats and goat and sheep cheeses (because my father is lactose intolerant). Also, I knew they were going to arrive late (9:30ish) so I knew I was going to join them in a nosh, plus have a glass of red wine. Now SoBe says red wine is OK, but I haven't had any wine for at least 102 days and probably more. It TASTED GOOD. Anyway, my dinner with Emily earlier in the evening didn't work out, so I was glad to eat later, but I'm not sure I've got an accurate count here of what I ate. So take it with a grain of salt.

Breakfast
1 Cup All-Bran
1 Cup Strawberries
3/4 Cup Fat free Milk
Tea

Snack
12 oz Coffee (half Decaf)
1/2 cup mixed nuts
1 Cheese Stick

Lunch
Salad, no dressing
1 Scoop tuna salad

Dinner
MORE Salad
Some meat from La Rotisserie

Mezzo-Father-Snack
Ass't Goat and Sheep Cheese Chunks
Some Capicola, Dry Salami, Pepperoni and Toscano (all from Russo's)
A few Grapes
Glass Red Wine

I could have finished the bottle of red wine, it was so yummy. But I thought, "detecto is just waiting for me...like a spider." I better stay on my best behavior, and that's hard to do when company comes.

Day 102: Things to Avoid

From the oft-delivered email from South beach. I take great issue with this email, and after you read it you'll see why. Condiments: What to Enjoy and Avoid
"When adding condiments to your favorite foods, beware of hidden carbs. Ketchup, for example, is loaded with sugar, and so are some salsas and steak sauces. Read labels carefully, and consider this list of condiments to avoid and enjoy"

Enjoy:
Mustard
Horseradish sauce
Lettuce
Pickles
Onions
(Now this list of condiments is five items long and three things on it are VEGETABLES.)

Avoid:
Ketchup
Cocktail sauce
(Um, OK, I missed the part about avoiding cocktail sauce...)

Use sparingly (check labels for added sugar):
Salsa
Hot sauce
Soy sauce
Worcestershire sauce
Steak sauce
Mayonnaise (regular or low-fat)
(In the book it clearly says Soy Sauce is OK as is regular fat-mayonaise. I want these email writers to check with the Doctor!)


Breakfast
2 Eggs (broke a yolk coming out of the pan, I've lost my edge)
2.5 Strips Turkey Bacon
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1/2 Cup Nuts (some salted, some not)
1 Cheese stick
6 oz blueberry yoplait yogurt

Lunch
Sashimi (2 Octopus, 2 Whitefish, 2 Salmon, 3 Tuna)
Pickled Ginger (oddly, left off the condiment list)
Shredded Radish (ditto)
Miso Soup

Carsnack En Route Home From Russo's
About 5 slices of Salami
5 Strawberries

Dinner
Chicken, Peppers and Onions
Broccoli

It's interesting that I'm on a medication that takes away most of my enjoyment of eating, but not my will to eat. I might need to see a new dentist. Until then, I'm chewing mostly soft foods on the left side of mouth.

101 Dalmations

Forgetting to defrost my turkey bacon, I was not able to have the usual breakfast, so I had to make due with alternate plans. I ate my mega snack as lunch then went to the dentist for nearly two hours of drilling and cutting teeth. Then, I was quickly rushed out and back to work. I had lots of questions to ask but the dentist dissapeared and I forgot them anyway, I was so numb. I knew I would not eat again for a while and when I did, I didn't really have the taste for it, but I ate up my dinner anyway. Then I ate 20 nuts, and chewed them on my left side. Not a very auspicious way to start the second 100 days.

Breakfast
1 Multi-Grain English Muffin
2 Tsps Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack/Lunch
1 Cheese Stick
1 Joy Stick
1 Granny Smith Apple

Post-Dental Snack
6 oz Yoplait Yogurt (mmm soft food)

Dinner
Rainbow Trout Emeel
Broccoli
20 Peanuts (that's an approximate)

So my mouth (actually my gums) are killing me, I'm on some kind of anti-inflammatory medication ('may cause drowsiness' it says on the label—no one said anything about not driving, did they?) and I'm a bit, you know, out-of-it. I'm trying to think what kind of soft foods I can eat tomorrow, besides yogurt. Maybe more oatmeal. You know, oatmeal really isn't doing it for me the way I thought it would. It's not 'keeping me going till lunch' and it's quite a chore to eat. It's much like Uncle Sam's cereal—but more mulchy and less twig-and-sticky.

Lastly: my dentist is on the third floor. For the very first time since I've been seeing him, I opted to take the steps, instead of waiting for the 2 x2 elevator. I am thinking alot about my old friend Courtney, whose fitness program seemed to be comprised of just these things—taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking far away from your destination. I never knew that he was secretly trying to keep me in shape, but when I look back on it, I'm sure that's exactly what he was doing. He knew that I would never do it on my own, and he had his own sweet tooth and appetite for yummy food (He could often be found eating a doughnut at 10AM or 3PM). Now, whenever I do something like that I think of him, and I smile, because he made me so mad at the time. I was thinking "why doesn't he park closer?"

The First 100 Days

Is 100 special? The 100th day probably deserves more attention than it actually got, either on the day or in this posting. What I am thinking about most of all is how, even though my weight has come down, and I feel much better, I've noticed some other things in my life that may not be in such good shape. Etiquette prohibits me from listing them all, but my teeth and my car and two things that are going to need fixes that add up to lots of $$$$$. The feeling of trying to be in control for so many things is difficult. As an adult in this modern world, it feels like there might be just too many things to take care of adequately. I mean, how am I supposed to keep the undercarriage of my car from RUSTING? If flossing and brushing isn't enough to take care of my teeth WHAT IS? I don't know if I have what it takes to pay special attention to these things above the routine maintenance if I also have to keep my weight in line by eating right, having a job, a house and a family. Am I whining? Well it's my blog, I can do whatever I want. You could have clicked away anytime you wanted to.

Breakfast
3/4 Cup Oatmeal
1 Cup Strawberries
1 pak Splenda
Tea

Mega-Snack
12 Oz coffee (half decaf)
1 Joy Stick
1 Cheese Stick
1 6 oz yogurt
1/2 cup unsalted, mixed nuts
20 Peanuts

Lunch
Salad with Tuna Salad (no dressing)

Dinner
Rainbow Trout Emily
Fried Onions
Salad with Parmesan, Red Pepper

What I have noticed throughout my 100 days most is how people have consistently mixed the South Beach diet up with Atkins. True, they are both low-carb diets, but South Beach distinguishes itself from Atkins in being sensible—e.g. it doesn't recommend you eat bacon and cheese omelets for breakfast or fatty steaks for dinner. It is all about balancing your life out and keeping the FAT down. It truly has given me a better way to live, even if I have become a nut fanatic, and just as my father in law lost his unfettered access to the nut factory. Damn! I have bad timing. The other thing people have been saying to me is stuff like "oh I tried South Beach and I didn't lose any weight." If I dig deeper, I can tell that they couldn't stick it through—they gave up after the first week or so. And a lot of people say they felt so crappy they couldn't go on. That didn't happen to me and I don't know why. But I was determined to stick with it no matter what. Lastly, there are people who, inspired by me, starting to go on some kind of diet, but without the book. I'm all for taking control of your lives, so anyone who's inspired by me GO! But I do recommend reading the book—I think it gives you the educational and scientific base to make intelligent eating choices for the rest of your life.

Does anyone think there will be another 100 days of this blog? Countdown to next weigh in: 6 days. Countdown to my deadline: 6 weeks. Countdown to the American Holiday Season, breaker of diets: 6 Months.

99 Luftballoons: Nutopia Rising

I literally went "nuts" today as I could not stop eating nuts. Really, I need some professional help for my nut addiction. I may have been a squirrel in a former life.

Breakfast
1 Multigrain English Muffin
2 tsp Peanut Butter
Tea
4 Grapes

Snack
12 oz coffee
1 Joy Stick
1 Granny Smith Apple
1/2 Cup mixed unsalted nuts
15 Cashews
20 Peanuts
6 oz yogurt strawberry yoplait

Lunch
Seafood Teryaki
Green Salad
Miso Soup

Dinner
Chinese Pork Loin
Okra and Garlic
Red and Yellow Peppers
1/8th 90% Sirloin Burger


Wow, I pigged out today. A lot of of it was anxiety—being back at work on Monday, coupled with not getting enough sleep. It's a good thing I had to walk back and forth to Firestone where they could rip me off to the tune of $400! There was a lot of walking today, but it probably wasn't enough to make up for my insatiable appetite today. I just couldn't keep my hands to myself today. I better go on TWO walks tomorrow.

Day 98

A lot happened today, but it's late and I've been failing to get to bed at a reasonable time. So here's a quick one. I did get to the gym, and just barely got 31 minutes before they shooed everyone out (they close for an unknown reason at 4:30). I realized that if I had a gym that was open late I could avoid the downsides of the JCC, namely they're practically not open on the Sabbath, which is kind of a bummer if you're not religious. I did get on the machine, and it felt much better. I didn't almost fall off this time. So maybe next time I can set it to "cardio burn" instead of "demonstration mode."

Breakfast
Mastemecher Bread (can't explain right now)
1.5 tsps peanut butter
Tea

Snack
1 Joy Stick (a jerky-like product)
1 Cheese stick
1/2 cup mixed unsalted nuts (with some lightly salted nuts thrown in)
A few piece white meat chicken

Lunch
Turkey Bacon, Egg and Cheese Omelette

Post Workout Snack
6 oz. lite Yoplait yogurt

Dinner
Broccoli a la Em
Sirloin Steak Tips
20 Peanuts

Whenever I work out (is that right word for someone who just uses a machine?) in the afternoon I come home very hungry. I know it's SUPPOSED to be OK to eat more because you've raised your metabolism but I'm trying to create a deficit here, people! Well, I gave in and ate plenty. I must tell you about the new bread and very badly shaped yogurt container by Yoplait, but it will have to wait for another post.

Day 97: Just another SoBe day

Ruby and I went to the Needham street fair today, where of course they had little to offer in the way of SoBe edibles, except if you count hot dogs'n'burgers. Wisely, I ate before we got there. There was a lot of walking and sweating, but I'm not sure it counted as exercise. Did not get to the gym, or anything. Domestically, a good day, but from a 500-calorie deficit-producing-standpoint, a bust.

Breakfast
Eggs 'n' Turkey Bacon
Tea
1 oz chocolate yogurt

Snack
1/2 cup mixed lightly salted nuts
two cheese sticks
Medium Dunkin' Donuts Coffee (half decaf)

Pre-Street Fair Lunch
6 oz peach 'lite' yogurt
1 cup strawberries/blueberries
1/8th cup grape nuts

Post-Fair lunch
2 Roll Mops, Ham & "lite" Jarlsberg and Peppers
Greek Salad with Feta
2 Tsp Peanut Butter

Dinner
More Salad (Red Leaf), Scallions, Feta
Tuna Salad
1 Debreaded Chicken Nugget (now that's really pathetic)

There's a lot going on in my life right now and I can't tell if my urge to eat is anxiety or boredom-snacking or just real hunger. I feel hungry a lot and it may just be that I have to dismantle 25 or so years of bad eating habits, including 'grazing' 'finishing what you're eating' and the like. Like an addict, finishing Ruby's PB&J crusts is never far from my mind. I must be strong if I going to make it through the next seven or so weeks. I'll have to be strong after that too, but possibly not AS strong. Ruby and I were looking through some toy catalog today and there was an inflatable water slide. It stated that its maximum capacity for weight-bearing was 200lbs. I thought "there's that challenge again."

96 Tears

Just like on any diet, you always feel good if you can have an 'in control' day following a 'not-so in-control day.' Today I was thinking about how, about six months ago, a friend of mine who doesn't see me very often asked if I had lost weight. Of course I hadn't, and I said so, but he replied "you look like you lost weight." I was kind of happy about being told I look good (more evidence that Dale Carnegie was a genius) but I KNEW THAT I HAD NOT LOST ANY WEIGHT. I sort of thought to myself 'maybe I am a bit slimmer.' It's sad to know that you can mislead yourself into thinking something you might want to think even though you know it isn't true. Reflecting on that, I know now that I feel good because I have lost weight, and I am not misled into thinking that that's what this about. It's not about looking good. It's about feeling good and doing something for myself. For the longest time I thought that eating whatever I wanted was what I did for myself. Now I know it's the opposite.

Breakfast
6 oz. Lite Peach Yoplait Yogurt
1 Cup Cantaloupe and Strawberries
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (1/2 decaf)
1/4 Cup Lightly Salted Nuts
1 Cheese Stick
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Sashimi—Tuna, Salmon, Whitefish & Octopus
Shredded Radish
Pickled Ginger
Salad
Miso Soup

Dinner: A Mish-Mash
4 Slices of Turkey
2 Teaspoons of Tuna Salad
1 Bite of Steamed Soft-Shell Crab
2 Teriyaki beef sticks
1 Red Leaf Salad with Red Onions, Feta and Carrots

I went for a walk today at lunch with the fastest walker. I could tell immediately that this was a different pace than I walk at by myself or with the group. It was fast. I worked up a sweat. Besides the fact that it was in the 70s, we thought we might walk to the Chinese restaurant on California street, so instead of hugging the river, we walked down the street, but we eschewed that for the Japanese restaurant instead. The walk was about 10 minutes longer than usual, so all in all it was a great SoBe day.

Day 95

Very little of interest to report today, except that what can only sound like a pewling rant, the fact that I have to spend my days working on a Windows computer is certainly increasing my desire to eat. For one reason, things seem to take a lot longer, so I spend a lot of time just staring. That's counter-productive, and it makes me think "what can I eat?" Also, I am sitting with my back facing the door, which is leading to a nervous condition. I can only hope that we'll go walking tomorrow and I'll get on the elliptical this weekend.

Breakfast
1 Multi-grain English Muffin
2 Tsp Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)
1/4 Cup Lightly Salted Nut mix (purchased by mistake—It had the South Beach seal on it, but that's controversial)
1 Joy Stick
15 Cashews (nothing says sitting at the computer like that)

Lunch
Greek Salad
with Beef

Dinner
"Emily's Leek-y Sole" (sounds more poetic when you say it).
Red & Green Leaf salad with Red Onion & Feta

I must say that all of all the developments since I started on SoBe, the most amazing one is that nearly every night I come home to a gourmet meal. Really, it's mind-boggling, but wonderful. Of course, there is a LOT of screaming and yelling and running around and carrying on right before and right after the meal, but for the 9.5 minutes we're actually all sitting down and eating it really is incredible. I started to tell Emily how much I would pay for these dinners (which is an old game that she made up a long time ago when I used to cook for her) and tonight's was at $24.95. That's how good it was, if you're restaurant savvy and you can imagine that.

Day 94

Another big eating day. Aside from not feeling 100% this morning, my work computer (a laptop) shit the bed and I had to bring it to the shop (the Apple store) for repair. I said, "how long will it take?" The guy said "I tell people a week." I know from experience that it doesn't take that long, but the thought of going without it for even three days was enough to really, really make me feel bad. The Domania gang had gone on a brisk-walk prior to my getting to the Apple store, so I was pretty near passing out by the time I got there. I had visions of going to the yummy Chinese restaurant upstairs at the mall, or stopping at the rotisserie chicken place on the way back; I had to grab a salad on the way out. I horked it.

Breakfast
2 Eggs Over Easy
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
Tea

Snack
12 oz. Coffee
2 Cheese Sticks
1/2 Cup Mixed Unsalted Nuts
2 Granny Smith Apples
1 Joy stick (0 Net Carbs)
1 6 oz. lite peach Yoplait

Lunch
Small Green Salad with a scoop of Tuna Salad
Diet Coke

Dinner
Sirloin Steak
Green Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette
Grilled Shrimp

Today on the walk I definitely noticed a difference. It was not that hard to keep a pace (though we all thought we were slower than usual) and I never felt I was struggling. Someone mentioned that I was able to talk and walk at the same time now (not sure that's an improvement). I have been thinking about the elliptical trainer, and hoping I can get back there. I do have seven pounds to lose.

Day 94

Another big eating day. Aside from not feeling 100% this morning, my work computer (a laptop) shit the bed and I had to bring it to the shop (the Apple store) for repair. I said, "how long will it take?" The guy said "I tell people a week." I know from experience that it doesn't take that long, but the thought of going without it for even three days was enough to really, really make me feel bad. The Domania gang had gone on a brisk-walk prior to my getting to the Apple store, so I was pretty near passing out by the time I got there. I had visions of going to the yummy Chinese restaurant upstairs at the mall, or stopping at the rotisserie chicken place on the way back; I had to grab a salad on the way out. I horked it.

Breakfast
2 Eggs Over Easy
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
Tea

Snack
12 oz. Coffee
2 Cheese Sticks
1/2 Cup Mixed Unsalted Nuts
2 Granny Smith Apples
1 Joy stick (0 Net Carbs)

Lunch
Small Green Salad with a scoop of Tuna Salad
Diet Coke

Dinner
Sirloin Steak
Green Salad with Balsamic Vinagrette
Grilled Shrimp

Today on the walk I definitely noticed a difference. It was not that hard to keep a pace (though we all thought we were slower than usual) and I never felt I was struggling. Someone mentioned that I was able to talk and walk at the same time now (not sure that's an improvement). I have been thinking about the elliptical trainer, and hoping I can get back there. I do have seven pounds to lose.

Day 93: Detecto Says "203"*

The asterisk is because I got weighed on a different scale today. Amazingly, this is the first time in all the times I have been weighed in that I ever had to use a different scale. I am deeply suspicious of the number, but I will accept it. The nurse, Donna, is starting to expect me—so that's good. It was getting tiresome to continually explain why I was there. So today I was in exam room #4–where I hope we can continue to get weighed in from here on in. Of course, now the hard part really starts; not just physically but psychologically. To get over the next seven pounds in about seven weeks—well, it will be challenging. I am really going to have to either increase my exercise or decrease my eating. Emily wanted to know if I was going to celebrate. When they make a cupcake out of celery, I said, then I am really going to celebrate.

Breakfast
1 Cup All-Bran (not buds)
1 Cup Strawberries
3/4 Cup fat free milk
1 oz Chocolate Yogurt

Snack
1/4 cup unsalted, mixed nuts
1 granny smith apple
12 Oz. Coffee

Lunch
Greek Salad
Grilled Chicken
(No dressing)

Dinner
Cod a la Emily
Broccoli and Cauliflower (a la Emily)
20 Peanuts

The cheesestick embargo begins once again. Not much to say except to repeat what one of my coworkers was able to elucidate brilliantly today. I was saying that I wasn't tired of dieting, or exercise, and she said "it's the thinking." That's exactly it, I said. It's that I have to THINK all the time about WHAT I am eating and WHEN I will exercise. I don't mind less food and more exercise, but sometimes I just want a rest from all that thinking. And of course, a celery cupcake.