Day 34

Is it possible that I am not losing any weight? It could be that now that I'm in the thick of it, I am actually really feeling my body for the first time. If that's the case, it doesn't actually feel that good. It's one of those things where as you are leaving a way of life, you get enough perspective to actually separate from that way of life and think "was I really that way?" You can insert your own past way that you may have abhored in that space in order to feel empathy if you like. I think the secret to not being hungry is a big lunch, and so I'm working on that, sometimes.

Breakfast
2 Slabs Turkey Bacon
1 Yolk, 2 Egg White Omlette with Low Fat Swiss
1 Tsp Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack
Cheese Stick
15 Cashews
Celery with Hummus
Cucumbers

Lunch
Breast of Chicken, Tomato & Roasted Pepper

Dinner
Greek Salad with Tuna
Olives

I get asked quite often "how long will you be on this diet?" It's funny (not ha-ha funny) but I never thought about that, not once, when I started. I just thought "I have to make a radical change" and I did that. I jumped into this diet mainly because I didn't know how else I could stop being 226 lbs, but I knew I had to. Now I'm in a phase where I feel somewhat addicted to the diet because it allows me to feel good, have direction and know how to avoid feeling bad, guilty and shame-ridden. The truth is, we're all addicted to something, and so whether you're hooked on eating what you want, or you're hooked on new pants shopping with your mom, you've got follow what feels good. But sometimes you find something that feels good that keeps feeling good, and that's where I am with SoBe. On reflection, the Weight Watchers diet was not as good, because its point values structure meant that if you ate things that were delicious you went hungry because they were so expensive, points-wise. On SoBe, you can eat all of things you can eat (excepting nut and nut products) so I've responded to that kind of freedom. I guess it's all about the excercise now, and whether I can get addicted to that. And wouldn't that be something?