Thursday, May 25, 2006

Year 2, Day 87: Open Letters to People at Russo's

Dear Parking Lot People:
First of all, don't park there. It's the place where people go into the market, the entrance. That's what you are blocking. It's not just a place to idle so we can inhale your exhaust. Someone, and I'm not saying who— is going to wheel a shaky-cart at your precious car and then you'll be sorry.

You Breakfast
Joseph's Oat Bran, Low-Carb Tortilla
1 Egg
1/2 Chicken Chorizo Sausage
Sprinkling of Cheese
1 Tablespoon Salsa
Green tea

Snack
2 oz. 50% Cheddar Jalapeno
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)
6 Stalks of Celery, 2 Tablespoons of Peanut Butter

Lunch: Russo's ($6.21)
Red leaf, red onion, red pepper
chick peas, chicken, feta
broccoli, olives, pepperocini
oil/vinegar

Dinner:
Emily's Salmon
Balsamic Leeks

Dear Salad Bar People:
First, don't crowd the salad foil bottoms and plastic tops. It's pretty obvious which goes with which. Take one and move on. Then, don't come wrong way down the aisle. And don't, whatever your purpose in life is bring YOUR CART DOWN THE AISLE. It can barely contain me and the two people vying to get ahead of me to get the last pieces of undercooked chicken. They're MINE because I WAS HERE FIRST. That's the law of the salad-bar jungle, do YOU GET IT? Don't pretend like you're "just trying to get some carrots" by entering from THE WRONG SIDE and then try to KEEP GOING. I WILL BLOCK YOU. I WILL ALLOW OTHERS TO GET TO THE CHICKEN. YOU WILL NOT GET YOUR CHICKEN. And so what if I take a long time with the broccoli? I like little pieces. I have to pick them out. You can suck your teeth and tap your foot all day. You think I don't know what you're doing when you reach out to grab the tongs on the cucumbers? I know you're "SENDING ME A MESSAGE." I REJECT YOUR MESSAGE. I am here to get salad. Once we get to the pasta station, you'll be free, because I am not loading up on $3.99/pound carb-laden pasta! I am here for my health. Good day to you!

1 comment:

Mom said...

Okay , I think it's time for a few days off...to recapture your cool under fire....Great seeing all of you. Love, MOM