Year 2, Day 32: A Day Off

I sorely needed a day off from work and today was it. It turned out to be a good day to take off as it neared 70 degrees and Ruby had no school. I'm not sure I accomplished all I could, but I did have a good time with my family. Emily and I played tennis in the morning (with Ruby as ball girl) for about an hour. It wasn't great tennis but we laughed a lot, and it was probably slightly more exercise than a walk around the Charles River.

Breakfast
5 Slices of Ham
2 small pieces of Balthazar Rye
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack-Ems
Coffee with unsweetened soy milk
30 Pistachios
1/2 oz Boston Lite Popcorn
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
4 Tablespoons Super Chunky Peanut Butter

Lunch: The Cheesecake Factory
Cheeseburger with grilled onions
Side salad
1 slice of wheat bread

Dinner
Emily's Ground Turkey Lettuce Wraps
Broccoli
1 Glass Yellow Tail Red Shiraz-Cabernet

1 Chocolate Parfait Nip

No doubt that exercise early in the day raises your metabolism but if you eat everytime you're hungry it probably evens out. I seemed to have been very hungry and needed to keep eating today. Almost lost it on the pistachios, then the peanut butter. Once an addict, always an addict. The evening culminated in a rare dessert, one chocolate parfait nip. You're allowed two, but I figured 'why push it?'

Year 2, Day 31: Detecto Says "186!" (But Donna says "185")

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Okay yes, it's here, the moment, where I can say that I have lost FORTY POUNDS. Even though I am not given to bouts of shameless back-patting, I will take a moment and say "Wow." Thirteen months, nearly to the day, and here I am, only a wisp of the man I used to be. I thought it would take a lot longer to get off the next ten pounds. You always hear people talk about the 'easy weight'. Like "oh, that first 30 pounds was the easy weight." I thought the next 10 would be ever so much more challenging. I stayed at about 196 for six months or so—but I was also starting to put a way a pint a day (of nuts). As long time readers know, in January, I started on Phase One again and lo and behold, here I am, three months later, 10lbs down. People are asking, "now what?" "Will you continue to diet?" The answer is of course, a resounding yes. I don't believe I have hit my absolute floor yet. I think I can get to somewhere in the 70s before I flatline it on ol' Detecto. Lastly, Donna told me to 'take off a pound for your clothes.' I haven't done that before, and I'm not going to start now, but I think it's safe to say that today is a milestone. Either that, or a tapeworm has run rampant inside me.

Breakfast
2 soft-boiled eggs
2 small slices Balthazar bread
2.5 oz 50% jalapeno cheddar
tea

Snack-EM
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
3 Tablespoons Peanut Butter (Super Chunky)

Lunch: Peter's Kitchen
Grilled Chicken Kebab Salad with Feta
1/2 Whole Wheat Pita
4 French Fries

Dinner
Turkey Meat Balls
Crispy Pork Cutlets
Sauteed Peppers
Salad (with Feta)

Dessert Especiale
Emily's Very Well Done Fried Plantains

Magnoliafood
Oatmeal
French Toast

Of course, one of the things that I am the most neurotic about is letting your lead slip away. Sort of a "Rabbit and Hare" neuroses, I don't want to relax with my new found svelteness and start eating the choco tacos and bowl after bowl of breakfast cereal—continually adding cereal to soak up the milk, and then adding more milk because there's too much dry cereal. Really, it's a cycle and it's best not to get into it. While looking for a picture of my favorite breakfast cereal (Captain Crunch Cinnamon Crunch–not the very inferior Cinnamon Toast Crunch) to post as a "what I would eat if I could eat whatever I wanted" I found a picture of my most favorite OTHER cereal from my youth (and there were many), called Kaboom. Anyone who knows me would know why I would have immediately responded to this cereal as a kid. It had a great name, was sold by a clown, and who could resist the boxes promise: "100% minimum daily requirements of vitamins and irons in 1 oz. SUGARY oat cereal with marshmallow stars!" As it was, I did celebrate by eating four french fries (fantastic); some fried plantains, some of Magnolia's oatmeal and a few bites of french toast I made. I think that's plenty of celebration.

Year 2, Day 30: One Month Down

Did I already say the next time I start a diet with a blog I'll start it at the beginning of the month? Just because of the ways the days fell, I started this diet on Monday, February 28th 2005. So the second day was a leap year day, and it's all been farshmoozled since, when it comes to record keeping. No matter, I don't let that phase me. I will try and get weighed tomorrow or Monday (I'm taking Friday off from work). We'll see whether or not I've stayed the course, gone up, gone down. There's no doubt that I have more energy, I can wear all of my clothes, and don't suffer dire bouts of self-loathing. But it's always important to visit with Detecto, now less my adversary than ever. For the most part I stay on the straight and narrow path, but occasionally the urge for 5 heaping handfuls of Strawberry Vanilla Yogurt Cheerios can be so debilitating.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean!
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
18 oz. Coffee (2/3 decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($4.82)
Red leaf, red pepper, red onion
broccoli, feta cheese, olives
chicken, chick peas

Dinner
2 strips Jennie-O Turkey Bacon
3 Eggs (1 broke) over easy
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Ephemera (less than a bite each)
scrambled egg
chocolate cookie
carmel rice cake

You might be wondering, "how can he continue to eat that 50% reduced fat cheese?" The truth is that for a while I started eating a cheese– Cracker Barrel individuals– that Emily keeps for snacks, which are not low fat. After eating a bunch of those, the reduced fat cheese tastes like a milky version of styrofoam. But I find that if you eat only reduced fat cheese, you really don't notice it. That isn't saying much about reduced fat cheese, and if you ate that all the time, you wouldn't say much about it either.

Year 2, Day 29: Cashews are From Venus, Pistachios from Mars

The whole thing about nuts is what they always said about potato chips. "You can't eat just one." And it's true. The whole thing about nuts is that they are so small, yet they deliver a delicious helping of protein and essential vitamins (A and E), minerals like phosphorous and potassium, and fiber. But they're so SMALL, that it's hard to moderate how many you should have. Of course, they're also loaded with fat and oils so they're 'dietbusters' if you can't keep your hand out of the nut-jar. The problem is that there's been a jar of pistachios in the conference room, and just like the chocolate, when you're staring at it for a half hour it requires super-human resistance to avoid the temptation. Though I must pat myself on the back for the occasional bout of super-human temptation resistance, this day didn't feature any of it.

Breakfast
5 Slices of Ham
1 Slice of Balthazar Rye
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack-z
25 Pistachios
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($6.01)
Red leaf, red pepper, red onion
broccoli, feta cheese, olives
chicken

Dinner
Emily's Crispy Turkey (made with Whole Wheat breadcrumbs)
Emily's Leek-y Flounder
Peppadews

Etc.
3 Bites of Ruby's Healthy Choice Pop
3 pieces of pineapple

Fortunately, I did get through the day without any oatmeal cookies, and the transgressions were minor, though still troubling as they came after dinner, when metabolism is low. I do need to eat a snack during the 3:00pm hour, because otherwise I come home famished and eat more dinner than I should. I thought I would do it today, but honestly I'm not REALLY hungry until like 5:00pm and that feels like a stupid time to be eating a snack. But I guess like anything, it takes a lot of work to understand one's own self.

Year 2, Day 28: Slip Slidin' Away

"Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you're slip sliding away" - Paul Simon

I was thinking about this song today as I desperately struggled to keep some of the eating under control. Between the pistachios, the pita bread for lunch, and the bread and oatmeal cookie for dinner, I felt somewhat out of control, and not for any particular reason of note. It didn't feel good. It's been coming on for a few days. At least there was a brisk walk with the full on Domania gang today (a reunion of sorts). Even though I went to the gym yesterday, I felt compelled to step ahead of the pack to work up a sweat. Of course most of that benefit is wiped away 40 pistachios later.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean!
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
12 oz. Coffee (half decaf)
40 Pistachios

Lunch: Peter's Kitchen
Salad with Grilled Chicken
1 Slice Pita

Dinner
1 Slice Balthazar Rye Bread (just arrived)
Breast of Chicken
Sauteed Spinach with Garlic
Peppadews

Etc.
1 Oatmeal Cookie (Fed to me by Magnolia; but I ate it)

In this blog I have traditionally discussed way of eating and meals with loving remembrance, and a healthy dose of remorse. In my life I have picked up a lot of bad eating habits from my family and friends, but mostly developed quite a few on my own. Eating an oatmeal cookie tonight reminded me of my father, as he used to love dipping oatmeal cookies into coffee, which is something I used to beg him to do for me, because the hot coffee made the cookies soaking wet and warm and it was like they were coming out of the oven. You also had to eat them quickly because they wouldn't really hold together for too long. You could take a minute, but after that it was broke-back cookie. Also it wasn't like coffee today (very strong). Coffee was very weak back then, so it didn't really have an acrid taste that might make a kid recoil in horror. At least a few times he had to pour me my own cup because I was essentially ruining the coffee drinking experience, if I remember it correctly. I think for a long time I did take up eating cookies by dipping them into some hot beverage, before I realized you could eat a lot more cookies if you could skip the dipping step. By this time in 2004, a few months before my gall bladder surgery, I was probably eating about a quarter to a half a bag of ginger snap cookies a night. Seriously. I had read somewhere that ginger was good for an ailing gall bladder. I am certain it said nothing about cookies, but they made me feel better. When you think about that I was going through two or three bags of cookies a week, it's really just disgraceful, but amazingly, eating one cookie tonight made me feel like that all over again.


"And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done
He came a long way just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and headed home again

Slip sliding away, slip sliding away
You know the nearer your destination, the more you're slip sliding away"

Year 2, Day 27: Another Triathalon

Today, aside from doing 5 miles at the gym (4.5 elliptical, half a mile around the track), I went for a two-hour ice-skate with Ruby. (Okay, we took off twenty minutes for the Zamboni, which she calls 'the machine' and a few breaks just for the hell of it). Naturally, when we got home, she wanted to ride her bike. Don't these kids ever get tired? It ended when she insisted on playing some five year old's version of chicken and crashed into me. We fell quite a bit on the ice too, which was too bad since like a bad father I forgot to bring her gloves. She said she wants to take ice skating lessons. I keep forgetting that there are cheaper sports...

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
3 oz. Jalapeno Cheddar (50%)
Tea

Snack
Coffee with Unsweetened Soy Milk
4 Handfuls of Cheerios (I'd approximate 1 cup)

Lunch
Omelet with Broccoli and 50% Cheddar and Avocado
2 small slices Balthazar bread with butter
Red leaf salad with feta
3 tlbs super chunky peanut butter
1 prune

Skating Snack
popcorn

Dinner
Emily's Tilapia
Celery, Sprouts, Cabbage

Today at the gym I noticed a woman in front of me on the treadmill. She looked somewhat like a bad version of Edie Falco (from the Sopranos) but was dressed in a leopard skin top. She was doing some kind of hopping on the treadmill that recalled either a leprechaun doing a heel-toe dance or of Gepetto's puppets. It was the most incongruous treadmill behavior I have ever witnessed. She was doing this for all of 28 seconds when she started rubbing her neck. Then she calmed down, which was good, because she was distracting me. Also, CNN continues to be demotivational, especially when it's played on both television sets and there isn't much else to look at at the gym. That may be why the video iPod is the answer. More on that later.

Year 2, Day 26: The Show Must Go On

Day of the big show. Since the day involved food, I'm sure I was over all kinds of calorie counts and what have you. Part of the problem was having to be there at 12:30 so not wanting to have a big lunch thing, I just had a yogurt with peanut butter and a banana (and a few fistfuls of cheerios) and skeedaddled to the school. When I got there I did well turning down samosas and other carby but internationally delicious items. But a after an hour or so, one of the show's producers determined that we were going to eat the offering of one particular restaurant because it was 'too small to offer to the public.' They begged me to join them in the Japanese Steak House faire. I was hungry, and so I partook. Does performing as an emcee count as burning calories?

Breakfast
4 slices of Ham
1 slice Balthazar Bread
3 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Snack
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
1/2 Banana
3 Tlpbspns Super Chunky Peanut Butter
3 Handful Strawberry Yogurt Burst Cheerios

@ The Event
3 Pineapple Chunks
3 Canteloupe Chunks
2 Gyoza
2 Japanese Fried Chicken Chunks
Edamame
1 Shumai
4 "Stung Drummies"
2 Small Slices of Cheese
1 Bite of Strawberry Rhubarb pie

Dinner
Steak Tips
Broccoli
Peppadews

1 Glass Yellow Tail Shiraz + Cabernet

1 Spoonful of Soy Delicioius Chocolate

I suppose the event was a success because all the seats were taken, most all of the food was eaten, and pretty much everyone, including the performers had a good time. I certainly had a good time. In retrospect, it's kind of funny to have an event with entree-style food at 3pm in the afternoon. I think if you think of the event as one really big lunch I guess it's not so bad. Fortunately, I will be at the gym tomorrow, and if my luck holds out, ice skating with Ruby. My mother was in NYC helping me stock up on Balthazar bread, thanks Mom!

Year 2, Day 25: Night Before the Show

Today I felt good enough to go back to Jalapeno cheddar. I also realized I've got to get the snacks back under control. It was getting to a high level of snacking towards the end of the year that was probably close to violating your basic SoBe diet rules. Going back to phase one was important, and now I have to find the right balance. It seems that if I don't have a snack in the later part of the day, I get so hungry that dinner becomes a many-faceted thing, including the equivalent of an appetizer and a dessert (usually cheese).

Breakfast
2 Eggs, Not quite hard-boiled,
Balthazar Bread
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
Coffee

Lunch: Russo's (Can't give you the $ amount as lunch was expensed)
Red leaf, red onion, red pepper
chicken, feta, olives
broccoli, chick peas

Dinner:
1 RyVita Cracker
4 Slices of Cheese
Two slices of Turkey
Cheese of one slice of pizza
Handful of Nuts
Beef Stew
Black Beans

Tonight was dress rehearsal for the Cultural Event tomorrow at the School for which I am the Emcee. When asked initially, I declined, but when I thought about it I realized it made sense for me to do it. For starters, I CAN do it, and secondly, since I was going to go anyway, why should I have to sit through someone else emcee-ing? I wasn't nervous tonight, but I will be tomorrow.

Year 2, Day 24: Sooooo Hungry

I am not quite 100% percent yet. You know that feeling you have that tells you that your body is not quite 'all ready' yet? I am hearing that voice loud and clear. For this reason, I am avoiding the Jalapeno Cheddar and warily dispensing of the ham. It may have had nothing to do with my condition, but I can't go back just yet.

Breakfast
1 Handful of Strawberry Yogurt Burst Cheerios
2 Eggs, Balthazar Bread
Tea

Snack
Coffee
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
with Splenda
25 Cashews

Lunch
Spicy Green Beans with Chicken

Dinner
1 Slice of Turkey
2 Slices of Cracker Barrel Cheese
Lamb Choplets
Jane's Vegetable Medley (Cabbage, Carrots, Bok Choy)

For some reason though, I am sooo hungry today, which may be because 1) It is Spring; 2) Because I am feeling better or 3) The more you eat the hungrier you get. It could be the increased amount of sugar in today's diet— Cheerios in the AM and Chinese Food for lunch. I'm not sure which, but after dinner I was as hungry as a SoBe dieter on Week One. If I didn't have more control I would have raided the fridge or cabinet for something, anything to put in my mouth. As it was I plied myself sorrowfully with water and just endured.

Year 2, Day 23: Rejection and Dejection

...or Thank God for Susan Lucci. Today I found out (the hard way) that my play had not been accepted for a local playwriting contest. I usually get the rejection letter in the mail, but I was fed up with waiting so I went to check the Web site and lo and behold, the list of plays was there—minus mine. I may have lost count, but I think this may have been my seventh attempt. I think maybe I need to 'get the message.' Saddened and depressed, I turned to the box of strawberry yogurt cheerios and had four handfuls that I stuffed in my mouth, like the first monster in Ghostbusters. It temporarily made me feel better.

Breakfast
2 nearly hard boiled eggs
2 small slices balthazar bread
tea

Snack
tea with honey
1 small banana

Lunch: Peter's
Greek Salad with Chicken and Feta

Afternoon Ephemera
6 oz. plain yogurt
3 tablespoons super chunky peanut butter
3 bugles

Dinner
Brown Rice,
Chicken
Cabbage and Sprouts

This morning I was not up to one of my usual breakfasts so I thought I'd go with eggs and toast, which while it was always a favorite breakfast of mine, is one I have not eaten a lot of since I started the diet. I would usually eat either eggs or toast, but not both together. But I tell you, they are great together. At lunch I was quite hungry and when I got home early from work (so Emily could take Ruby to her swim lesson) I was starving. As with my last illness, I thought I would be less hungry forever, but as today proved, that was not the case.

Year 2, Day 22: Recovering the Satelites

Felt not quite normal but better today. I finished my measly half a salad as a biological requirement but my eyes widened at the prospect of the bagel.

Breakfast
1/2 Pink Lady Apple
Tea

Snack
Tea with Honey

Lunch
Whole Wheat Everything Bagel
Other Half of the Russo's Salad from Yesterday

Dinner
Chicken
Brown Rice
Bok Choy & Celery

Emily made a great 'sick' dinner for me that was so good I probably ate more than I should have.

Year 2, Day 21: Mysterious Ailment

I don't know what came over me but something wasn't right from the moment I had breakfast (must look into that). By 3pm I was a wreck, I had to go home and flop into bed. Flop, flop, flop.

Breakfast
4 Slices Ham
1 Slice Balthazar Bread
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($3.98)
Red Leaf, Red Onion, Red Pepper
Chicken, Chick Peas, Feta, Broccoli

Dinner:
5 Prunes

I got the salad in the hope that I'd be hungry but I had no appetite at all. I ate about half of it and decided that was it. As a 40-year old man, I was bound to try prunes as a solution, though I'm not sure it had anything to do with what was wrong with me, most likely a kidneystone or something. They do taste good, though.

Year 2, Day 20: Skating a Sweat

Though Ruby had a choice between the "Barbie Show" at the Benneton store at the Mall or the rather unglamorous ice skating at the local rink, she chose ice skating. Having already been to the gym this day, I was fully limbered up and ready to go. We set out for adventure. Last Saturday we had gone ice skating as part of a school event, but it started at 7pm and by 8pm we were all ready to thrown in the very cold towel. This time public skating opened at 2pm and we were there. We skated the whole two hours with just a 10 minute break for the zamboni man and a few breaks for cookies and popcorn. Ruby never gave up, even when I told her that her "old man was tired." After five miles at the JCC (4.5 miles on the elliptical and 6 times around the track); it was a good day from an exercise perspective, which is good because I was eating like my hair was on fire.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean!
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Pre-Gym Snack
Coffee with U.S.M.
1 crust of Challah with Super Chunky Peanut Butter
(And admittedly some french toast with syrup)
1/2 oz Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch:
Emily's Char
Big Green Salad with Sprouts
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
1 Flavi Cracker

Skating Rink Snack:
1 Popcorn

Dinner
Chicken Breast
Emily's Crazy Cabbage
1 small piece of Corned Beef

Finale
A banana (That Mangolia fooled me into opening when she had little interest in eating the whole thing)

I have been just super hungry lately. Stress, anxiety, the coming of the spring, the lengthening of the day, who knows— but the evenings have been particularly trying. It could be because I'm due to MC a show this weekend and have been remiss in preparing for it. But for those who know me, that's to be expected. I've always been a sort of last-minute guy.

Year 2, Day 19: Carnival of Cheese

Today Ruby and I went to a Carnival at a local church. It wasn't much different than I expected, but Ruby and I did split a cone of popcorn while we were shuffling through the mad hordes trying to play ring toss, bean bag toss, decorate the cookie and make a bracelet. I know there are harder things to do in the world, but after two hours in a windowless basement of the church, I was literally spent. I actually had to take a nap. Then afterwards it was back up and to the playroom at the mall.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
4 Slices Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Lunch:
Red Leaf Lettuce
Feta
Tuna Salad
1 Cracker
3 oz. 50% Reduced Cheddar (Not Jalapeno)

Mid-Day Snacking
1/2 Cone Popcorn (about 1.5 oz)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
3 Tblspns Super-Chunky Peanut Butter
1/4 cup Almonds/Cashews
1 Coke Zero
1 String Cheese

Dinner
4 Slices of Ham
2 oz. 50% Reduced Cheddar Cheese

By the time we got the kids fed and in bed it was so late that we didn't have any energy (or much appetite) to have any dinner. Knowing that I should eat something, I finished off the ham and that was it. Though it was a fairly anticlimactic way to end the day (we were originally going to get take out from Pho Pasteur); it was better than eating a big meal I didn't want or need. Sadly, I used to do just that all the time in the past, and especially on Saturday nights.

Year 2, Day 18: The End of the World as We Know It

Mostly, I felt fortunate to grow up when I did. During my time, Educational programming such as Sesame Street, Car Seats and other things that theoretically promoted better childhoods came into being. However there is one thing I noted when I was leaving my childhood that I sensed was a harbinger of the end of the world. It was Cookie Crisp cereal. Now no one disagrees that most cereals aimed at kids were sugar-laden garbage. Why two of my favorite cereals growing up actually had Sugar in their names— Sugar Pops (renamed Corn Pops) and and Sugar Smacks (renamed Honey Smacks). But at least all of those cereals started out with something that kids regarded as healthful enough to disdain— wheat puffs, corn, or rice. But with Cookie Crisps, they abandoned even the premise that breakfast should be nutricious. I mean, if you think about it, you should be incensed! The cereal company is actually trying to say "forget the compromise you're already making by letting your kid have empty calories, white sugar and white flour for breakfast! Just encourage the worst possible eating habits—dessert for breakfast! As kids, you WANT dessert for breakfast, but you NEVER EXPECTED YOUR PARENTS TO GIVE IT TO YOU. Tragically, this decision was followed shortly by other no-account cereal companies that introduced "Reeses Puffs", "Ore-Os" and yes, "Dunkin Donuts Cereal" (in Chocolate and Glazed). There are more offensive cereals now on the market, but I only have so much time. Interestingly, the floodgates of the worst cereals hit the market around 1987—when a Republican president had been in office for seven years. And you thought it couldn't get any worse.


Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 cup Unsweetened soy milk
Tea

Snack
25 Cashews

Lunch:
Sirloin Tips
Cherry Peppers
Salad

Dinner
Shrimp du Emily
Green Beans
1 oz. Cracker Barrel Cheese
1 cracker

Efluvia
50% of a blood orange

No walk today, it was quite nippy. I hoped I could get away from the office early, but I ended up leaving just before five. It was all in all a fairly predictable day, except for a meatTASTIC lunch.

Year 2, Day 17: Warburton's and Bagels

One of the things that I used to eat quite frequently was a corn muffin. More often that not, it was my muffin of choice. And of course, I thought I was being 'good.' Knowing what I know now, about both corn AND muffins I realize that that was just uneducated foolishness. But even at Magnolia's birth I remember getting a corn muffin at the Au Bon Pain in the ground floor of the hospital. I love their corn muffins; they have real corn in them (which of course makes them even higher on the glycemic scale). About 20 years ago when I used to work downtown, I used to stop at the Warburtons outside Government Center and get their incredible corn muffins, whose crispy on the outside (but moist inside) tops were two to three times the circumference of a normal muffin. Warburton's had taken over from a small coffee shop that had inhabited the place and inherited the 227 gallon capacity steaming kettle (it is fed steam continuously from the building's boiler room) that sits outside it. It was a real city landmark. Lamentably, it's been taken over, as has everything, by a Starbucks, whose sub-par quality baked goods are as curious as the long wait for service at 3 in the afternoon...

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread
4 Slices Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack-Um
1/2 Whole Wheat "Everything" Bagel
with Light Cream Cheese
12 oz coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($5.41)
Red lettuce, red leaf, red onion
broccoli, celery, scallions
chicken, feta, oil & vinegar

Dinner
Turkey Breast
Asparagus
Broccoli & Peppadews
Cabbage

During a three hour meeting today, I must admit I found myself hypnotized by the aroma of fresh bagels that a co-worker had brought for the meeting. As she is of like wants and healthy concerns, she got whole wheat bagels as well as regular. At the two hour mark, locked in the room with six people and eight bagels, I caved. I had half a whole wheat bagel, which I haven't done in the longest time. It was good. I felt as though I looked like one of those people having a sensual moment with a peppermint patty, or more recently, whatever that shampoo commercial was. I thought by eating a big breakfast I wouldn't be tempted, but I guess the lesson is: you'll always be tempted, it resisting temptation that's the trick.

Year 2, Day 16: The 36's Don't Fit

All dieters know that no matter what the scale says, the real test is: how do your clothes fit? You have pants and or shirts that are tight; you have favorite clothes that you don't want to admit you can't wear anymore. There are the bellwether clothes— sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't. For a while there I was buying 40-waist(ed) pants. That's not necessarily a good thing. I still had a lot of 38's and I was often proud to be able to wear them. 38 sounded good. It was my age, it was my waist size. When after about a year on the South Beach diet the 38's didn't fit me, I was very very glad. I never thought I would really be a 36. I probably haven't been a 36 for 15 or 20 years. A few months ago, both Emily and I realized that the new 38s we bought when I hit my goal last July were too big. Yesterday, she bought me a pair of 36 Gap Shorts. Now admittedly, GAP clothes look fantastic on thin people, but I find are fitted for the slightly heavy— they are roomier than most. We couldn't believe it—they were WAY TOO BIG. Now that's just one pair of GAP shorts, but that was really a milestone. The 36's didn't fit, they were too big.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Grape Nuts
1 Cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
1 Medium Dunkin Donuts (1/2 decaf)

Lunch: Russos ($6.41)
Red leaf, red lettuce, red onion
chicken, olives, feta, broccoli
scallions, celery, oil & vinegar

Dinner
Ham, Swiss and Broccoli Omelet
Asparagus

Accidental Other Things Eaten in the Service of Feeding Children:
1 saltine with peanut butter
1 or 2 bites of a strawberry popsicle
a few cheerios

Caffeine is something that supposedly jacks up your insulin levels, which has the effect, when the levels decline, of making you need something to raise your blood sugar levels. This can often be ready by the body as hunger, and possibly, as a result of today's coffee I was ravenously hungry by 11:30AM. When I got to Russo's there was (predictably) no chicken. Of course I sought out Carlos, who was in fact a tall Brazilian behind the rotisserie counter, who barked his Portuguese disapproval out loud, causing someone to come out from nowhere with a plateful of newly cooked chicken. This in turn, led to swarming, bringing out my hoarding behavior (at least five pieces of chicken) leading to a six dollar salad. Instead of leaving over the forty-one cents, I finished it. But at least the 36's don't fit. That counts for something, maybe a whole piece of chicken.

Year 2, Day 15: Where Does Dinner Start/End?

People not on a diet never think twice about grabbing a handful of something that's being made in the kitchen, like a few bites of cucumber, a spear of chicken satay, possibly a slice of bread, or something like that. For me, I must be cognizant all the time of what I put in my mouth. I am very much used to eating, not just emotionally, but almost as a reflex. I caught myself today, just wanting to eat around 4:30 but NOT REALLY BEING HUNGRY. It's so hard to resist, especially if you've been working all day, or under pressure, or just trying to forget how badly you need a haircut. As I was walking out (past the sea of snacks) I did have about a quarter cup of cashews. That was a weakness, but it helped keep my sugar up till I got home.

Breakfast
5 Slices Ham
1 Slice of Balthazar Bread plus one very small heel
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1/4 cup cashews

Lunch
Grilled Chicken on Salad with Feta

Dinner
SIrloin Tips
Asparagus
2 Slices of Cheese

Went for a walk with the gang (well 2 of them) today. It was a day where no one could decide whether to wear a coat or not, as it was nearing 60 degrees but threatening to rain. I took mine, and they didn't. I suspect we both had regrets but it was a very fast walk. We were all missing summer just a bit today. We are fortunate to have gotten the walk in, as the forecast is calling for snow later in the week. I went to a new place in the Square and had the same ol' salad, which though it tasted much better, still would have weighed in at way over six dollars at Russos. As it was, it cost $6.75. That's a lot for a salad, don't you think?

Year 2, Day 14: The Bread is Back in Town

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time then you know that my mom is a VERY big supporter of the program. She teaches in NYC at a university that is only 10 minutes away from the REAL Balthazar. Naturally, she felt the need to check it out for herself, but knowing that our supply had run out, she volunteered to send reinforcements. It came today by FedEx and no sooner had it arrived then everybody was munching on some. Magnolia had nearly three slices (but in an act of fatherly support, I ate all the crusts). Man, that's good. It's just better than all other bread I've ever had. Sounds hyperbolic, but it's true. It's both true and hyperbolic.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Kashi Puffs
3/4 cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1/4 Cashews, Pistachios

Lunch: Sushi 21
Salad
Miso Soup
Chicken Teriyaki

Dinner: Blue Ribbon BBQ
Burnt Ends
1 Rib
Salad

Afterwards:
1 small slice Balthazar Bread with Butter

And what butter! I don't eat very much butter, except for that which is used to prepare my food by people who don't consult with me (such as restaurants, or my wife). It reminds me how (cue music: My Favorite Things) my favorite part of a restaurant visit would be the bread-n-butter course. There are lots of great restaurants that do this, but consistently yummy was Legal Seafoods. We used to go roll-crazy there. Fresh, hot, white rolls, crispy on the outside and soft but chewy on the inside. I often would continue to order more rolls throughout dinner. Rolls, like rice, are very important to soak things up on your plate. When you give up rolls and rice, it means you're committing to leftover pools of food-sauce on your plate. It's really just that simple.

Year 2, Day 13: Sunday Brunch at the Blue Room

One of my very favorite places in the world to go for Brunch was the Blue Room, in Kendall Square, Massachusetts. Though there a lot of all-you-eat-brunches in the Boston area, this was was of an especially high quality. Things like real sausages, challah french toast and incredible side-salads were so delicious that you couldn't help but eat irresponsibly when there. Often we would have a savory visit to the line (endless buffet of five-star entrees) and a sweet one. Did I mention smoked meats? Dessert? Coffee? They had it all. Perhaps the only down side to hog-heaven there was that it was located below ground, so upon leaving, full, or bursting at the seams as I often was, you would have to mount the steep stairs to the street. Walking up stairs a problem? I realize it sounds petty, but after two hours of chowing down, you would have found it hard, too.
I think of that restaurant often on a rainy Sunday morning as this was. I have no complaints about eating the way I do now. But every now and again I like to remember when there were no boundaries. Aside from artery-clogging of course, eating like that saps your energy for the rest of the day; a nap and/or lounging around with the paper was about all we could muster. Laundry was simply UNTHINKABLE.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2.5 Strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Pre-Gym Snack
6 oz. plain yogurt
3 tablespoons super-chunky peanut butter
small pieces of banana that Magnolia didn't eat
some tiny crusts of french toast that Magnolia didn't eat
a few asparagus
a few peppers
1 oz. cracker barrel cheese
1 oz. jarlsburg
1/2 oz boston lite popcorn
Some bites of a pink lady apple

Lunch
Hamburger
Peppadews
Greek Salad with cabbage, feta

Dinner
Steak Tips
Broccoli
Emily's Sweet Peppers
Glass Yellow Tail

Etc.
4 Squares Burdick Dark Chocolate


Went four miles on the elliptical today and then another half mile around the track. I like the track; it's the one thing that when the music is good, it really just sails by. It helps to be able to watch people playing basketball, climbing rocks or what have you down in the gym. When I got home I was so hungry. At the gym, two televisions were on, one on Project Runway repeats and one on CNN. I must say that CNN is the most de-motivational thing to watch at the gym. It is simply contrary, on a psychological level to every message you are trying to believe at the gym. Messages such as "I am important", "I can make a difference" "I can achieve things" get totally squashed when you realize all the horrible things we are doing to the world, the atmosphere, and each other. How I keep from eating myself back to the jaws-of-life size I don't know.

Year 2, Day 12: Ice-capades

There was some definite good movement today, though hard to qualify it as exercise. This morning Ruby and I went on a playdate where we went on a walk for about a mile following a trip to a farm stand. I had only had breakfast and though I had purchased a salad at said farm stand I had no idea how far we'd be walking before we consumed it. I was caught unawares for Ruby, too, as her lunch consisted of blackberries, raspberries, cantaloupe and a whoopie pie. When I got home I had a power-snack and then it was dinner and off to the Ice skating party.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2.5 Strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
1 Joy Stick
4 Slices of Ham
2.5 oz. Cracker Barrel Cheddar Slices
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
3 Tablespoons Super Chunky Peanut Butter

Lunch
Greek Salad
Blackberries, Raspberries

Dinner:
Steak Tips
Broccoli
Peppadews

It was the first time I had put ice skates on my feet since probably 1982, when I used to go to Parkwood, the pool facility in my hometown on Long Island that doubled as an ice skating rink in winter. I spent a lot of time ice-skating, but probably even more time eating hot dogs, french fries and hot chocolate from the makeshift grill that operated out of the glorified, rubber-matted changing room. Fortunately, Ruby wasn't much faster than I was. I didn't have to hold on to the railing for dear life as she did, but I didn't quite have my ice-legs either. About five minutes after we had gotten on the ice, they blew the whistle for everyone to get off for the zamboni. Unfortunately, Ruby and I took another 8 minutes to wend our way off the ice. I think we're both ready to go back next week.

Year 2, Day 11: The Greatest Smell in the World

You may argue that it's popcorn at a movie theatre, or coffee at a coffee shop, or fresh baked goods at a bakery, and those are all powerful, aromatic stimulants that can make you glad to be alive. But today on a Domania walk (with just one other) I caught my absolute and sentimental favorite, which is french fries in the 'just a bit like summer' warm air. I don't know why, but it was a smell, you might say Proustian, that takes me back, not to some specific event, but to something universally appealing about being a child. Possibly the map to the brain's synapse that says "we're going to eat french fries." The conflated memory of a thousand carnivals, hot dog stands, beach huts. The smell of your food—french fries—being ready. It was hypnotic, and just at the beginning of my walk, it carried me all the way around the river, and perhaps, through some windy cavern of my mind, much farther.

Breakfast
2 Slices Iggy's Whole Wheat Sour Dough Bread
4 slices ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz. coffee (half decaf)
60 Pistachios
A handful of Cashews

Lunch: Leftovers
Emily's Lettuce Wrraps/Ground Turkey
Cold Thai Cabbage Stir Fry

Dinner
2 Glasses Yellow Tail Cabernet/Merlot
Mahi-Mahi
Asparagus

Dessert!
6 Squares, Burdick's Dark Chocolate

First, I must tell you about the disappointing bread product from Iggy's. Mostly, their bagels and white breads are FANTASTIC, but this whole wheat bread was just a sorrowful come down from the enthusiastic joy that is Balthazar. It gives a deeply grieving sensation that Balthazar is made with crack cocaine, molasses, or possibly 'ether of wood rosin' (LIKE FRESCA) or something that I shouldn't be eating. It's that good.

Update on Russo's: I spoke to Phil de Parma (that can't be his real name, but that's what they told me). He apologized for the lack of chicken saying the staff had been 'crushed by a lot of other business.' Though this is hardly a satisfying, or some would say credible excuse, I accepted it when he told me I could go to "Carlos" his right-hand chicken man should I note an empty tray. Reports from the field today indicate the chicken issue has been resolved. I thought you'd like to know.

Year 2, Day 10: Down in the Dumpy

There's a song from "Free to Be You and Me" called "It's All Right to Cry" sung by Rosie Grier and the lyrics in the middle go "Sad and grumpy, down in the dumpy." That's just the way I felt tonight.

Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 Ezekiel 4.9
3/4 Cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea (Twinings Darjeeling)

Snack
Coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Russo's ($5.13)
Red Leaf, Red pepper, red onion
feta, chick peans, broccoli
3 lonely pieces of chicken, oil & vinegar, olives
1/4 cup Cashews

Dinner
Emily' Lettuce Wraps with Ground Turkey
Thai Cabbage Stir-Fry

I continue to have problems at Russo's. Four out of five times I have gone to their salad bar there has been a 'chicken problem.' I don't why it is, but I am going to find out. I will report back to you.

Year 2, Day 9: Anxiety Eating

Does anyone doubt that anxiety causes bad feelings, and bad feelings leads to emotional eating? Furthermore that emotional eating leads to bad feelings, which can cause anxiety, and so on? It's a bad cycle to get into and today I was deep into it. It started with some yogurt, but by nightfall I was cravenly consuming the Burdick's dark chocolate bar.

Breakfast
4 Slices of Ham
2 small slices Balthazar bread (down to my last few slices)...
2.5 oz. 50% jalapeno cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
6 oz. Plain Yogurt
2 Tablespoons Super Chunky Peanut Butter
1/2 pak Splenda

Lunch: Russo's Salad: $5.13
Red Leaf, Red Lettuce, Red Peppers
Olives, Feta, Chicken, Broccoli
Oil & Vinegar

Dinner
Steel Head Trout
Emily's Crazy Broccoli, Cauliflower and Celery

Dessert
6 squares Burdick's dark, sugar free chocolate

A much older boy on Ruby's school bus teased her about her hair today, causing me to surf a huge bummer, as even I knew that hair was not good when I sent her out today. However, she is like a bucking bronco when anyone tries to get near her hair so sometimes we fight and sometimes I just let it slide. Though it's not the biggest deal in the world, it added to my already heavy demeanor and I couldn't shake it for most of the night. Tomorrow we're calling in the Marines (mom is doing hair) and I'll have a word with the boy. But tonight I had to make do with the dark chocolate, as all the milk chocolate with almonds was gone (and a good thing, too).

Year 2, Day 8—Cashews: A Love Story

CLOSE UP
Jar of freshly opened, plump, oven-roasted, salty cashews

CUT TO:
Robert's Eyes

SLOW PAN BACK TO CASHEWS, THEN:

Robert, trying not to look

CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC

ROBERT:
I wish I could quit you! (He slams his fist on the table in anger)

* * * *

Breakfast
1 Cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 Ezekiel 4.9
3/4 Cup Unsweetened Soy Milk
Tea (Twinings Darjeeling)

Snack
Coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Wonton Kitchen
Beef & Broccoli
House Special Egg Drop Soup (Chicken, Tofu, Shrimp)

Dinner:
Emily's Wheat-Flour Dredged Chicken
Crazy Broccoli, Cauliflower and Celery Stir-Fry

Today I returned to no snacks in between meals and it was good. But aside from the close call with cashews, there was a love song to pistachios:

Pistachios (to the tune of Julia by the Beatles)
Half of what I say is meaningless
but I say it just to reach you
pistachios

Pistachio
salted, calls me....

Year 2, Day 7— Nutsaster

Okay it happened. Just a little bit of anxiety over a few live servers gone haywire and I was reaching for the nuts like crazy. 70 Pistachios, and about 30 Cashews later, I was in shambles, and so was my commitment to stay snack-free. When I came home I tried to make up for it by having a 'lite' dinner, but the damage was done.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Bread
4 Slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snackz
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
70 Pistachios
30 Cashews

Lunch: Russo's ($5.65)
Red Leaf, Red pepper, red onion
feta, chick peans, broccoli
tuna, oil & vinegar, olives

Dinner:
Romaine Lettuce, Sprouts & Feta
Chicken Breast with Hot Sauce

At least I was able to keep the salad in check today. Otherwise, the less said about the day better. The problem did get fixed at the end of the day, and it was all for nut...and naut.

Year 2, Day 6—Not So Fast, Smith

I got to the gym today and did four miles, but when I got home I was ravenous. This may have led to some poor eating decisions, but at least it was a gym day.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
3 Strips Louis Rich Turkey Bacon
2.5 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Midmorning Pre-gym Snack
Small Banana
Coffee with Unsweetened Soy Milk

Lunch (Post Gym)
Salad with Tuna Salad and Feta
Kind Fruit and Nut Bar
2 Squares, Burdick Sugar Free Milk Chocolate and Almonds

Dinner: Blue Ribbon BBQ
Ribs
Pulled Chicken
Beets
Baked Beans
1/4 Piece of Corn Bread

If you didn't know me in the 90s, then you didn't know that Emily and I used to celebrate the Academy Awards by having people over in a pot-luck. The two things I made every time were deviled eggs and rice krispy treats. I still crave those things every Oscar night, but going to Blue Ribbon BBQ was good enough. No matter what I did tonight, I did resists the King Cake one more time (I took two pieces home for Ruby—she sure loves that King Cake).

Year 2, Day 5- Back on Horse

After a few days of skidding along the wet runaway of the South Beach Diet landing strip, I engaged the foam and got back into the groove. That isn't to say that I wasn't again tempted by the slice of King Cake I took home for Ruby (she had it for dessert lunch) because I was.

Breakfast
3 Eggs
2.5 Strips Louis Rich
2.5 Oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
3 Melba Toasts
2.5 oz 2% Cracker Barrel Cheese

Lunch
90% Hamburger
Peppadews
Pickles
Emily's Stir-Fry Cabbage
Diet Coke

Dinner
Emily's Ground Turkey Lettuce Roll-Ups

A strictly by-the-South Beach book day, which was much needed. I must fight the false sense of security I got from my last run in with Detecto. I do feel some of my angst fading away, and leads me to relax. That's dangerous. I need my diet angst back. If you see it, let me know.

Year Two, Day 4— I go "Nuts" again

After skidding through the past two days, I firm up my resolve to stay 'sugar-free.' Then wouldn't you know it, a "King Cake" shows up at the office. What is a King Cake? For those not in the know, it essentially a festive coffee cake (similar to the Sarah Lee round danish ring). Though this one was not filled, they often are, but they come with a tiny little plastic baby in it. Though it arrived around 10:30AM and I was hopped up on coffee, I managed to resist it. It smelled like a perfect thing to just take a little sliver of, but I thought, "I can't skid one more time or I won't stop."

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi Go Lean
1/4 cup Ezekail 4.9
3/4 cup Unsweetened Silk Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
Coffee (half decaf)
50 Pistachios
3 oz. Cashews

Lunch
Mesclun Greens with Balsamic
Goat Cheese
Sun-Dried Tomatoes
Tuna

Dinner
Emily's Tilapia
Broccoli and Cauliflower

But then a co-worker came to put pistachios in my jar (sounds like a metaphor, but it's literal). I had just at the moment been thinking if I was hungry enough to have a plain yogurt that I had in the fridge. I thought, I'll just have a few pistachios. Of course, that turned into twenty and then forty and then fifty. It was just like the old and very 'nutty' days. I thought I was safe, then I went over to speak to another co-worker and he had just cracked the new salted cashews—-oof! I had some and THEY WERE GOOD. I really had been off nuts for quite a while, and if I remember it correctly, it's because in the wrong amounts, they can be 'dietbusters.'

Year 2, Day 3: Attack of the Sweet Meats

I continue my unintentional shamefest by accidentally indulging in multiple not-so-SoBe friendly Chinese dishes. It was just one of those things that everyone goes through. First I thought, "I"ll just have one of these dumplings" or "a slice of scallion pie". Then the crispy beef came and it was like sugary like a a fruit rollup. Wow it was good. I already knew I was going to skip the chocolate tonight. When I got home I thought we were going to have fish, but instead it was more sweet meat (sirloin tips). Yikes. Really feel the need to go on a walk around the Charles River but the weather has not been cooperating.

Breakfast
1 Slice of Balthazar Bread
4 slices of Ham
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno cheddar
Tea

Snack
12 oz coffee (half decaf)

Lunch: Chinese
2 Spicy Steamed Dumplings
Hot and Sour Soup
1 Slice Scallion Pie
Shredded Pork and Celery
Chicken and Spinach
Crispy Beef

Dinner
Sirloin Tips
Romaine Lettuce, Cabbage and Feta

The only saving grace of today of course, was that there were no snacks and no dessert. My only hope is that tomorrow will be better.

Year 2, Day 2: Chocolate=Shame

Today just felt like a big eating day. Especially after positive detecto visits, I know I have to be super on guard lest I fall into some kind of 'false security' and have the urge to eat irresponsibly. Today I had HUGE salad ($6.32) and gave dinner to the kids, which I ate some of— hot dogs and cheese. After dinner I allowed myself eight squares of Aileen's other chocolate bar, the milk-chocolate and almond sugarless bar. How to put it? It was "MIND-BLOWING." I shared a few squares with Ruby who said "Dad, this is really perfect." Emily couldn't believe it either. If you must eat sugarless chocolate, this is the best it gets. Even if you don't, it's one of the best chocolate bars I've had.

Breakfast
1 cup Kashi GO LEAN
1/4 cup Ezekial 4.9
3/4 cup Unsweetened Silk/Soy Milk
Tea

Snack
Coffee (with U.S. Soy Milk)

Lunch: Russo's Salad ($6.32)
Red Leaf, Red Lettuce, Red Onion
Chick Peas, Olives, Feta
Broccoli, Chicken, Oil & Vinegar

Dinner:
1 slice Ham
Chicken Breast
Half of Magnolia's Hot Dog
Chick Peas

Dessert
8 Squares Burdick Sugarless Milk Chocolate with Almonds

Immediately after eating the chocolate, though I must say, a wave of shame-like feeling crept over me. I felt bad. I felt like "what am I doing?" I realize that it's allowed, but I guess after a long day of eating, even though there were really no snacks to speak of, I felt—I don't know, guilty. It took a little while to shake. I think I'm just not used to eating dessert, and I'm not sure I 'earned it' today. This feeling certainly requires more thinking. I'll get back to you.