You know, it was the kind of day where I knew I should stay in bed, but decided 'what the hell, I'll chance it.' After all, making a decision to change your life (which I didn't really know I was making when I made it) is a kind of ballsy thing, so you get used to taking chances. And in a way, I think that's what success is—being willing to fail. And so I thought I would go visit Detecto today, since it was essentially the deadline I had set out for myself. Though the news was not exhilarating—I was hoping to have a "Breaking Away" moment where I lean at the tape when I see my weight is 195—but it certainly wasn't bad. For all practical purposes, I achieved my goal—if you will allow me a half pound here and there. So now, the REALLY scary part—how I conduct myself this next four days—and how I get on with my life. Will you still be reading?
Breakfast
Two Tender Strips of Turkey Bacon
Two Harshly, Almost Vulcanized Eggs
Tea
Snack
1 Medium Dunkin Donuts Ice Coffee (Half Decaf), Black with Splenda
Nutsapalooza
6 oz strawberry yogurt lite
~8 Strawberries
Lunch
An Asparagus-less Chicken & Asparagus sandwich without the bread
Lettuce
Tomato
1 French Fry, dipped in ketchup
Red Peppers
Yogurt Sauce
Diet Pepsi
Dinner
Chicken, Cabbage, Onion Stir Fry
The failure to lose weight certainly drove me to the nuts this morning, after a near-successful day without them (too much). I hit them hard today, and I can't even really count, I felt, as I have often in the past, like the first Ghostbusters ghost in the library, with cashews coming out of my mouth as fast as my stubbly little hands could shovel them in. It wasn't pretty, but I could already feel a sense of "I'm going to eat these....fill in the blank.... because it's my birthday." I don't think I can survive too much of that, which is why I realize I need to keep a fairly rigid stance on that kind of thing, if I'm to keep my progress. Tomorrow night is dinner out, and who knows, the whole volcano might blow for the night. But at least I know I will have bookend workouts to make it OK. Physically, that is.
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3 comments:
Happy Birthday!! I sense some disappointment with Mr. Detecto but this kind of leveling can represent fluid retention or whatever...don't let it get you down ....you need to gird your loins for the next few days. You've done so beautifully! Love, MOM
still here...still reading! Happy Birthday and congrats on a job well done.
I've got me Beatles haircut and I've still got all me Beatles clothes, and I'll still be reading Blue Meanie's blog as long as you're writing. Happy Birthday on this, your special day. Coursages all around, Fancy Pants.
Luv,
Lurleen
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