Year 3, Day 110: Igby Goes Down

This tile has nothing to do with my day, I just liked it. Here I am, now in my second week of my new job, and things are going well. But there's a lot of pressure and it just seems like I am about to crack, for no reason whatsoever. I am experimenting with different snacks during the day (like Yogurt with Splenda) because I realize there's no way to break out my breakfast rut when strawberries are in season (even at their peak) and when I love it so.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Strawberries
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Snack
6 oz Stonyfield Yogurt with Splenda
A few pieces of Teriyaki Jerky

Lunch: Chang Shin Yuan
Dumplings
Moo Shi Pork 3 Pancakes
Shrimp with Vegetables

Dinner
Cabbage/Romaine/Feta/Chicken/peppers/balsamic vinegar

Dessert
a tiny bite of a cookie at Panera

After dinner it was a beautiful night, and I had to pick up my suit for my trip to New York next week, so we went over to Panera and Jos. A. Banks, the mysteriously named clothier who can't stop changing his prices.

Year 3, Day 97: OOps I did it again

Continued anxiety over pending change, both real and imagined sends me to the loose almonds and other snacks. Though it is familiar to most, I can only describe it as a feeling of 'letting go' somewhere deep inside you. Somewhere in you there is a voice that says "I am going to allow you to feed the nut monster." It's sub-transient. For me there is little difference between stepping on the elevator and how far you down you get, floor-wise. Once you get on the nut elevator, it's over. I know for most people it's ice cream, chocolate, liquor, but slowly I've removed a lot of vices in my life, and at this point to paraphrase Bruce Springsteen, "it's just the three of us: you, me and all that stuff we're so scared of." Oh, and of course, the nuts.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Strawberries
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Snack
4 sticks beef jerky
1 apple
almonds, to taste
.5 oz Boston Lite popcorn
12 oz decaf coffee

lunch: russo's $5.74
Romaine, red pepper, red onion, feta
chicken, broccoli, mushrooms
balsamic vinegar, pepperocini


dinner: Chun Ying Shun
Shredded Pork with String Beans
Mooshi Pork
Chun King Pork
Boneless Spareribs

It never fails that a day when I've eaten too much (of one thing or another) is the day Emily surprises me by asking for Chinese food for 'special. Of course, you don't have to ask me twice for Chang Shin Yuan. I also have learned not to bring anything home but the big winners, all listed above.

Year 3, Day 94: 4 Laps to Nowhere

Totally out of control with the nuts. The tamari nuts are impossible to eat, literally, impossible. You have a handful; you count them out. You put them away. You close the cabinet. Then you finish what you had. Then, you think- hmmm, those were good. Those were VERY good. Then, you think. I should like some more. I should have some more. I WILL have some more. Then you say No, I don't need anymore. Then you think, they're just tiny little nuts! Then you open the cabinet. Reach in. Take them out from the back. Open the container. Take out a handful. Try and eat them slowly. Rinse. Repeat. Go out of your mind.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Strawberries
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Then...
2 Handfuls of Whole Foods Frosted Flakes
2 Handfuls of Heritage Flakes
2 Handfuls of Kashi
Crusts of Magnolia's Buttered Bread (tiny bit of Peanut butter)
Coffee

Lunch;
Salad
Breast of Chicken

Snacks
Tamari Almonds
.5 oz Boston Lite Popcorn
Cashews & Almonds

Dinner(Blech)
4 Trader Joe's Meatballs
2 Bell & Evan Chicken Nuggets
Leeks
Edamame

We went swimming today but I didn't get to do much in the way of actual swimming. As soon as we got to the pool, literally, five minutes or so, there was lighting and they made everyone get of the pool. I couldn't have us have gotten all dressed up with nowhere to go, so Ruby and immediately high-tailed it to the indoor pool. Of course, there the problem is that you are required to wear a swim cap (men and women- for what reason I don't know). I did swim 4 laps, but I was breathing so hard I had to stop. I eventually took off my swim cap so some other parents with the same idea, but no swim cap, could go in the water with their children. When we got home it was a "make what is so deep inside your freezer you don't remember when you bought it" dinner. The kids were understandably unenthusiastic. Must go shopping tomorrow.

Year 3, Day 79: Poker

Once again I approach my monthly card game, and once again I must strenuously avoid eating nuts and/or popcorn throughout the day. When you've fallen into a food rut, it sometimes gets very hard to get out of. I realized today that I should not be thinking of the card game as a time to have an orgy of nuts or food, though I realize that I have, in a scaled-down, and more nutritious fashion, been allowing myself to do that. What I should be doing is allowing myself a few extra calories should I NEED them, not planning on eating them. Shame on me. Why doesn't anyone write to tell me that?

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Strawberries
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Lunch: Russo's ($5.81)
Romaine, red pepper, red onion, feta
chicken, broccoli, mushrooms
balsamic vinegar, pepperocini

Snack
1 cameo apple
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
2 sticks beef jerky

Dinner/Poker
Tamari Almonds
Almonds & Cashews
Pistachios
Popcorn
2 Moo-shi Pork
Double Cooked Pork
Beef Teryaki
Boneless Spareribs

Even if you count the Chinese food as a wash for dinner at about 700 calories, you can't think that the three kinds of nuts and or popcorn is good—it's got to total over a 1,000 calories for the night. I really need to bring a lot of celery sticks to the next game. Maybe that will help.

Year 3, Day 58: Eggs for Snacks

While I continue to try and break the breakfast rut, I am experimenting with a slightly larger portion of bread for breakfast. It looks like two slices (3 oz) are about 150 calories, so even with 4 tablespoons of super chunky peanut butter, I would still be at about 550 calories, probably less than the Kashi-Berries-Soy Milk breakfast at 600. Since I make all the eggs for Magnolia in the morning (and she doesn't necessarily want to eat them all) I am experimenting with having them for snack. At 70 calories each, they're not bad and they're filling, but since 40 of those calories are from fat you have to lump them in with peanut butter—they're diet busters if you don't watch it.

Breakfast
2 Slices (3 oz.) Iggy's 7-Grain Bread
Super Chunky Peanut Butter
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Coffee

Snack
2 Hard Boiled Eggs
4 Sticks Beef Jerky
1 Cameo Apple

Lunch: Chan Shin Yuan
Chicken with Spinach
Scallops with Asparagus
Chun King Pork
Beef with Cabbage

Dinner:
Turkey Crumble with lettuce & Cabbage
Boneless Spare Ribs

16 Chocolate Chips
2 Squares Dark Chocolate with Almonds
Handfuls of Nuts

Look, I can't explain it, just sometimes we have chocolate in the house. That leads to the examination of chocolate, sometimes the smelling of chocolate, followed by the eating of chocolate, followed by the eating of more chocolate, and then, who knows, a handful of nuts. I'm not proud, but I'm honest. So I'm telling you. This is just what happens sometimes. Then we move on.

Year 2, Day 363: Badly Numbered Boy

As I get near the completion of my second year, I noted that by my own day count I was six days off when I know the calendar says I am only three days off. Who to believe? I went back through my posts and noticed that several times this year I have double posted (two day 178s, for instance). Of course, by the time you read this I may have fixed it, meaning this post is not only meaningless but downright untrue. Such is the life of a blogger-by-the-numbers.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Bread
2 Soft Boiled Eggs
Coffee

Snack
5 Sticks Beef Jerky
50 Almonds
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
1 Bag (~1.5 cups) Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch: Russo's ($5.65)
Romaine, Broccoli, Mushrooms,
Grape Tomatoes, Chicken, Feta, Red Peppers,
Red Onions, Balsamic Vinegar, Pepperocini

Dinner
Robert's Fantastic Turkey Crumble
Romaine Lettuce
Broccoli

Dessert
16 semi-sweet chocolate chips

Of course the first Monday back at work is a day that requires a lot of nuts. I also noted that the days you most feel like having that something special for a treat—in this case 16 semi-sweet chocolate chips—are not so much the days you have denied yourself, but the days you have already indulged yourself. This leads me to my central and oft-proved conclusion that abstinence (from food only) is a good thing. You should be hungry. You should not feed every time you have a hunger pang. It is good, because with withstanding that hunger is important. Besides burning calories it builds character. And most definitely, keeps the nuts at bay.

Year 2, Day 330: What's A Conewich?

What to eat after a night of nuts? Not peanut butter, that's for sure. For solace, I turn to the usual breakfast. Following lunchtime I did grab a few nuts to get me by, but mostly it was a good day.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Ikea Muesli
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Lunch
Emily's Turkey Crumble
Lettuce Wraps

Snack
1 Fuji Apple
A few Nuts (!)

Dinner
Broiled Chicken
Cabbage Salad

The fill-it-yourself Conewich (www.conewich.com) is a cone-shaped piece of bread that comes in three sizes and nine flavors. For breakfast or dessert, consider blueberry or cinnamon-raisin. For dinner, think sundried tomato and basil or cheese and onion. The cone shape keeps even sloppy foods under control while leaving one hand free for tech activities.

The Conewich is made from a single strip of dough wound in a spiral around a form and then baked. The small end of the cone is closed so the food does not leak out, a distinct advantage over the 'wrap', pita and other similar concepts. The Conewich is easy to handle, quick to fill, and less costly to serve. The Conewich comes in 9 flavorful and nutritional varieties, in three sizes.

The Conewich is covered by a Utility Patent that relates to the process for making the Conewich whether by hand or machine as well as Design Patent that relates to the shape of the Conewich, both of which are owned by Conewich Enterprises Limited Partnership based in Las Vegas, NV. International Patents are pending. "Conewich" is a registered trademark of Conewich Enterprises.

Year 2, Day 326: Medical Woes

I have wanted to get weighed in for January, but I sensed since my Doctor had moved, I better make an appointment. As it is, it's time for my checkup and I am getting on in years so it seemed like a good idea. I needed to meet my new doctor and I didn't want to just stop by without knowing everything was OK. Turns out it was good that I called for an appointment. Apparently, they don't know who I am and they are not accepting any new patients. So I suppose my monthly check-ins before work are going to be a thing of the past, because those people near my office are no longer my medical representatives. Bummer. I had really wanted to get weighed in because sometimes I have totally lost my bearings about whether I am off the charts, cruising along or even losing weight. There are few other reputable scales around, so this means I will have to return to Dr. Parent, which means making an appointment and going to Norwood, which between you and me I have no idea where it is.

Breakfast
1.5 Slices of Jane's Bread
Super Chunky Peanut Butter

Snack
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
4 Sticks Beef Jerky
1 oz Boston Lite Popcorn
40 Almonds

Lunch: Won Ton Kitchen
Chicken with Green Beans
House Special Egg Drop Soup

Dinner
Hamburger
Asparagus
Salad with Avocado

Today's other woes were that the school nurse found "nits" on Ruby, meaning that she has pre-lice. There was a big lice notice going around the school, and we got it. Emily told me this after I came out of a stressful meeting, and you know what? I just dove off the nut-diving board into the nut pool and went for a nut-swim, until I came out nutty.

Year 2, Day 320: No Chicken at Russo's

It happens once in a while that due to timing, or other factors, there is no chicken at the Russo's salad bar. Long time readers will appreciate that while rare, this sad turn of events gives me pause to reflect on my new attitude towards food. Years ago I would have abandoned salad plans and gotten something else, and probably something else very fattening. But now, recognizing what my father-in-law has been saying for years "Food is a biological requirement," I simply substitute tuna, and move on. It's funny to think that I've grown more mature as the result of a diet? It might actually be true.

Breakfast
Balthazar Bread
2 Soft Boiled Eggs
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

Snack
50 Pistachios
4 Sticks Beef Jerky

Lunch: Russo's ($5.01)
Romaine, red pepper, red onion, feta
tuna, broccoli, mushrooms
balsamic vinegar, pepperocini

Dinner
Chicken Paprikash
Leeks
Broccoli

Dessert
Nuts (that I ate with Magnolia)

Starting to teeter back to a nut-frenzy. It comes in waves and it's difficult to control. I realize why most people don't have the same problem with nuts that I do. They ARE TERRIBLY EXPENSIVE! For Pete's sake, it's nearly five dollars for a bag of Almonds, whether you're buying the delicious Whole Foods variety, the delicious but less expensive Russo's variety, or the tasteless, cardboard-esque, good for nothing Trader Joe's nuts. Their expense keeps you from buying too many of them, and a result, you never quite have the same volume of nuts you'd have of say, Cheetos Extra Crrrrunchies. So they're self-limiting, unless you're me and you buy LOTS of them to keep around you all the time. This decision will need to be revisited.

Year 2, Day 308: Nuts, Nuts, Nuts

Today started with peanut butter and I tried my hardest to resist all the nuts in the world as they tinkle their little salty selves at me, hoping to be chomped on into a buttery paste in my mouth. I did very well until right at the end of the day on my way out the door, a brand new bucket of Costco cashews caught my eye and led me down the path, 20 cashews down to be exact. Damn! I was so close.

Breakfast
2 Slices of Balthazar Multi-Grain Bread (eaten as 4 small pieces)
3 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Coffee

Snack
1 Extra Smokey
4 Beef Jerky Sticks
20 Cashews
1 oz Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch: Domenic's
Romaine Salad with Tuna, Goat Cheese

Dinner
Swordfish a la Emily
Cabbage & Onions

Some friends were over the other day and we briefly discussed why they love the contents of my refrigerator. While I do like to stock my fridge with goodies, especially if I know what the people who are coming over will like, over all I find that I shop more sensibly now then I ever have before. That may be because I have children; or that may be because I am only buying what I eat, rather than what I THINK I will eat. Before I lived a healthy lifestyle, I used to buy a lot of stuff that I thought I might eat one day. While this seems ridiculous (and was), it was quite common. Emily IS known to raise high her eyebrows when she unloads the grocery bags, but back in the day it was like a Vern Goes to the Supermarket picture, with her saying "You bought what?" Now I find that I think about meals one or two days in the future, and I think about snacks. I make sure I have everything the four people in my house will eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and dessert. Anyone who knows me knows we do pretty well and don't go hungry. I still continue to experiment—I bought the Whole Foods version of Cheez-its the other day (and they were a bomb, not THE bomb). I suppose I will always be taken in my marketing and so the grocery store will always get an extra five dollars of mine if they come out with a new version of something (now with Cashews!).

Year 2, Day 295: Christmakah

Today is the last night of Chanukah and the night before the night before Christmas. It's kind of a weird time because there's a lot going on but simultaneously no one's anywhere and everything is cancelled, suspended or closed. I count among my blessings the fact that my kids were fighting over a bowl of Kashi Go Lean! last night. I harken back to a time when I worried that they would eat a lot of junk and I would be helpless to stop it. Now I realize that if Emily and I model good eating behavior and don't bring a lot a garbage in the house, they'll have to do like other kids—eat their junk at school and at their friend's houses. That's what I did, anyway.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Ikea Muesli
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Snack
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar (in new package)
Almonds & Cashews
1 oz. Boston Lite Popcorn
Coke Zero

Lunch
Brisket from Blue Ribbon
Romaine & Cabbage, Feta, Balsamic Vinegar
2 Shrimp

Dinner
Chicken Breast
Cauliflower
Avocado Salad

It's funny that I have had Blue Ribbon in nearly every post this week because recently Jill had told me that she though I must eat there once a week and I told her that it was more like once a month or even less. But it also goes in cycles. Sometimes the kids love it; sometimes they turn their noses up at it. You never know until you bring home the extra-large bucket of ribs which way it's going to go. That's why we got a chest freezer.

Year 2, Day 293: Demon Nuts Strike Back

I did go for a walk today, thankfully. It helps because the snacking was out of control. However, as you may have read, my usual routine has been interrupted by the loss of my beloved Peter's Kitchen and replaced by the still-mysterious Crown's Kitchen. When I first walked into "Crown's", I noted several things that were different—the printed menu, the new cash register (electronic) and the absence of the main woman/hostess, whose name was Denise. She was pleasant and always remembered my name. I knew her mom and dad (Peter), too. When I first spoke to someone on the phone they told me "Denise is coming in a few days a week" but immediately upon arriving INSIDE "Crown's" I knew this was a lie designed to give Denise fans a feeling of comfort but false security. Readers, I will try to get the scoop on this overnight takeover. I don't know who's behind it or who benefitted, but rest assured, I'm on the case.

Breakfast
5 Slices of Ham
1 SLice Multigrain Balthazar Bread
Bite of Banana
Coffee

Snack
1 Extra Smokey
5 Sticks Beef Jerky
30 Pistachios
30 Almonds
.5 oz Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch: Crown's Kitchen
Chicken Kebab Salad
Still with No Pepperconi

Dinner
Chicken Paprikash
Romaine, Cabbage & Feta Salad

Dessert
1/2 Pear (Split with Ruby & Magnolia)

Really, it's the holidays and if there are to be nuts on my desk THEY ARE GOING TO GET EATEN. It's really that simple. I don't mean to bore you with my nut obsession any more than I wish to bore you with my boring repeats of the same breakfast OVER AND OVER AGAIN, but some things are like tape loops, you just keep repeating them. For anyone reading this under 30—tape refers to magnetic strips that could be used to record things from other sources, like a phonograph hi-fi.

Year 2, Day 291: All is Nothing

Today I had an old favorite for breakfast. Ham on multi-grain bread. While this is a very easy breakfast, I also find it rather unsatisfying. Today, I was driven to despair (and also, nuts) by a collision of things at work, and at home. I ate nuts like I was at a poker game. It was not pretty. The spiral of despair-to-nuts-to despair-back to nuts is infuriating. Am I to be captured in the web so easily? Answer: Yes.

Breakfast
5 slices Ham
1 SLice MultiGrain (Balthazar)

Snack
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
40 Pistachios
40 Almonds
3 Pieces Beef Jerky
1/2 Boston Lite Popcorn

Lunch: Russo's ($5.17)
Red leaf, red onion, red pepper, broccoli, feta,
mushrooms, chicken breast, balsamic vinegar

Dinner: Turkey Crumble
Lettuce Leaves

Chocolate Turtle

Don't ask about the chocolate turtle. It came as part of a gift basket from a vendor we do business with. Fortunately, there were not many of them.

Crumble is back. After an awful episode where I nearly spilled the contents of a soy-sauce bottle into the turkey crumble while I was making it, then thought I could save it AND serve it, I returned to glory today with a humble, but excellent version of this timeless classic. Since I only have a few dishes that I can turn out reasonably well, I was worried that I might have lost my touch. No need to worry, I'm back.

Year 2, Day 255: Rainy Days and Mondays

Possibly because I ate two flour-laden Peanut-butter chocolate chip muffins of my own making last night, or just because it was a cold, rainy Monday, I found it hard to control myself today. To add insult to injury I got a salad from Panera but I found it rather small and unsatisfying. This caused me to eat 1oz of Boston Lite popcorn right away and anxiety about my trip to North Carolina caused me to eat three more pieces of beef jerky. Sometimes just the anxiety of eating causes you more anxiety, and certainly that can be an endless spiral leading you nowhere.

Breakfast
5 Slices Ham
1 Slice Balthazar Rye
Coffee

Snack
5 Slices Beef Jerky
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
1 oz Boston Lite Popcorn
30 Almonds

Lunch: Panera
Greek Salad with Chicken

Dinner:
Steak Tips
Asparagus
Peppadews
a few handfuls of cashews and almonds

In my continued quest to ratchet down the diet or just 'take it easy' sometimes I find that I have been eating more nuts and popcorn. Today I was looking back at some old posts and I realized part of the reason I wasn't losing weight is how much fat I was consuming, even during the first year. Sure it was a low-carb diet, but to eat regular 'lite' yogurt plus nuts plus regular cheese all in one day is kind of crazy, but I didn't know that at the time. I know that now, which is why I'm so anxious about it.

Year 2, Day 251: Nuts Again

Amazingly, three of the people closest to me in are venturing onto some kind of diet or program. All for their various reasons, they are setting out to lose weight, break patterns and just get healthy. As a supportive guy I am not naming names but I support them all whole-heartedly. Meanwhile, since my weigh in at 176 I have been considering what my next steps are. Do I stay on the diet, or do I move to the more low-fi "Phase Three?" This week I have already been thinking that I've been letting myself slide. For instance, this morning I had a lot of peanut butter and this afternoon I ate nearly 40 almonds.

Breakfast
6 oz. plain yogurt
4 tablespoons Super Chunky Peanut Butter
Green Tea

Snack
Five Pieces of Beef Jerky
2 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
40 Almonds

Lunch: Russo's ($5.65)
Red leaf, red onion, red pepper
mushroom, broccoli, chicken, feta
balsamic vinegar

Dinner:
Sesame Encrusted Trout
Cauliflower
Green Salad with Cabbage & Parmesan

People continue to ask me now that I've gotten to 176 lbs, what are my plans? Do I plan to 'ease up'? It's a good question. I'm not sure I know how to moderate my behavior. I know how to be a zealot; that' is easy. But navigating shades of grey is difficult. Can I bring one piece of pizza a week into my diet? But why would I do that? This is what I will be wrestling with over the next few weeks, months, and the holiday season. I'll let up a little, but I don't want to get back to gaining weight.