Year 3, Day 92: Sitting in Limbo

As a lark, we go out for dinner two nights in a row. Anxiety drives me to eat 40 chips and 40 tamari almonds AFTER dinner. We are waiting to hear about a big announcement with my company. Sitting in limbo is not good. Some people can't eat when they're stressed out. I can't remember a time that I wasn't reaching for the nuts (or their equivalent) when the anxiety-o-meter was on the rise.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Strawberries
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Snack
4 sticks beef jerky
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
1 Extra Smokey
3 oz Orville Redenbacher Popcorn

Lunch: Demo's
Salad with Chicken

Dinner: Bernards
Boneless SPareribs
Shrimp Soong
A few string beans


Sitting In Limbo Lyrics
by Jimmy Cliff
From "The Harder They Come"

Sitting here in Limbo
Waiting for the tide turn.
Yeah, now, sitting here in Limbo,
So many things I've got to learn.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

Sitting here in Limbo
Waiting for the dice to roll.
Yeah, now, sitting here in Limbo,
Still got some time to search my soul.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

I don't know where life will take me,
But I know where I have been.
I don't know what life will show me,
But I know what I have seen.
Tried my hand at love and friendship,
That is past and gone.
And now it's time to move along.

Sitting here in Limbo
Like a bird ain't got a song.
Yeah, I'm sitting here in Limbo
And I know it won't be long
'Til I make my getaway, now.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

I don't know where life will take me,
But I know where I have been.
I don't know what life will show me,
But I know what I have seen.
Tried my hand at love and friendship,
That is past and gone.
And now it's time to move along.

Gonna lead me on now.
Meanwhile, they're putting up resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.
Sitting in Limbo, Limbo, Limbo.
Sitting in Limbo, Limbo, Limbo.
Sitting in Limbo, Limbo, Limbo.
Meanwhile, they're putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

Year 2, Day 255: Rainy Days and Mondays

Possibly because I ate two flour-laden Peanut-butter chocolate chip muffins of my own making last night, or just because it was a cold, rainy Monday, I found it hard to control myself today. To add insult to injury I got a salad from Panera but I found it rather small and unsatisfying. This caused me to eat 1oz of Boston Lite popcorn right away and anxiety about my trip to North Carolina caused me to eat three more pieces of beef jerky. Sometimes just the anxiety of eating causes you more anxiety, and certainly that can be an endless spiral leading you nowhere.

Breakfast
5 Slices Ham
1 Slice Balthazar Rye
Coffee

Snack
5 Slices Beef Jerky
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
1 oz Boston Lite Popcorn
30 Almonds

Lunch: Panera
Greek Salad with Chicken

Dinner:
Steak Tips
Asparagus
Peppadews
a few handfuls of cashews and almonds

In my continued quest to ratchet down the diet or just 'take it easy' sometimes I find that I have been eating more nuts and popcorn. Today I was looking back at some old posts and I realized part of the reason I wasn't losing weight is how much fat I was consuming, even during the first year. Sure it was a low-carb diet, but to eat regular 'lite' yogurt plus nuts plus regular cheese all in one day is kind of crazy, but I didn't know that at the time. I know that now, which is why I'm so anxious about it.