Year 4, Day 92: No Work Out

I knew there would be no work out today when I got up, I just wasn't up to it. Though as a sacrifice to our children, we took them to the local pool, even though we both dreaded going.  It was only for 90 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime.   Naturally, I got hungry and there and tried to get a tuna wrap. They were out of tuna, so I opted for chicken, but it sure wasn't even my second choice.

Breakfast

Some bread crusts and peanut butter

Lunch

Chicken Salad Wrap

Dinner

Chicken Breast

Corn on the Cob

Dessert

Healthy Choice Fudge Pop

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Year 4, Day 91: Saturday

Sick, sick, sick absolutely sick. Sick as a dog.  Wow.  Even though I was sick, I got up early and took Ruby to the hospital for a blood-drawing. From there we tried to get Emily's car inspected, but unfortunately the registration had expired.  So we went searching for an RMV office that was open on Saturday, but alas, there was none.  I thought we were a gonner, but then we thought- what about the Internet!  We found out that you could renew your registration-- even if it expired, albeit for a usurious fee.    Ruby and I had breakfast, but that was about it for the day.  I thought finally, a sickness where I've lost my appetite.  Finally.

Breakfast: Johnny's Luncheonette

Three Eggs

Turkey Sausage

Bacon

Coffee

A bite of Ruby's French Test

Lunch

Some Popcorn

Dinner

Tea with Honey

Year 3, Day 104: More Sore & Cereal Straws

Today, the throat was worse. I broke out the Chloraseptic® and drank tea. I continue to ask the divine why I am not one of those people who lose their appetite or when sick-- or ever. I suppose by this point in my life if I lost my appetite I would start to worry. But it would sure be helpful.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean!
Heritage Flakes
Strawberries
Blueberries
Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Lunch; Russo's ($5.41)
Romaine, red pepper, red onion, feta
chicken, broccoli, mushrooms
balsamic vinegar, pepperocini

Snack
6 Pieces of Jerky
1 Extra Smokey
1.5 Boston Lite Popcorn

Dinner
2 Ribs
Red Snapper
String Beans
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Cheddar

My jaw dropped when I saw this product. This blogger summed it up best:

Froot Loops Cereal Straws From The Impulsive Buy
June 24th, 2007 - Written by Ace

I must start by saying that I’ve never really liked Froot Loops. I was always more of a Trix guy growing up. I can’t say why, exactly. Maybe it was my sympathy for the Trix rabbit, or maybe it was because I never really understood the appeal of Toucan Sam. He was boring and dull, nothing like my buddy “Two-Can Sam” who earned his nickname through his method of drinking which led to alcohol poisoning. Perhaps I never really dug Froot Loops because my elementary school would feed me stale ones every morning.

It also could’ve even been the fact that my school district switched from milk cartons to milk bags in the mid nineties, forcing us to puncture the bags like savages. The milk went everywhere but in the bowl, causing me to dress the cereal with tears when the milk from the bag ran out. So maybe it was the horrible traumatization, but I can’t be sure. What I am sure of is that I no longer have to relive those memories, as Froot Loops now come in straw form.

“Straws…made of cereal? This is fucking AWESOME!”

What do you mean? That wasn’t what you were thinking? Okay, you’re probably right. On the list of “things nobody asked for, but we’re going to give you anyways,” cereal straws has to rank in the top five. On that basis alone, it was worthy of an impulsive buy. I need to drink more milk, anyways. I haven’t grown in years and the commercials say it helps prevent osteoporosis in women. I’m not sure if I need that second part, but you can never be too sure.

Upon perforating one of the two packages, the perfume of fake fruit and powdered milk permeated the air and tempted the taste buds (try to say that without sounding like Daffy Duck, I dare you). There’s something about unabashedly artificial flavoring that’s both charming and nostalgic…sexual, even. Alright, maybe not sexual, but something pleasant nonetheless. The straws were thinner than what the box indicated, looking more like real straws than giant-sized novelty pens. They are lined in the middle with that sickly sweet powdered milk that seems to be popping up in granola and cereal bars everywhere. Someone needs to tell these guys that it does NOT replace milk and that we can all tell it’s just sweetened coffee creamer. Fortunately, the flavor of that is masked by the Froot Loop shell.

The straws themselves are rather sturdy and hold up well to milk. They last a long time without getting soggy and do actually work as straws. They basically taste like Froot Loops, which is all you could realistically hope for. Sadly, the cereal straws live in a paradoxical existence; humans cannot eat and drink at the same time. Well…I guess soup makes us do that, but let’s ignore that for a second.

Once you take a single bite of the cereal straw, it becomes too short for drinking and the fun immediately dissipates. If you just sit there and drink the milk, you’ll just be wasting the straw as it imparts no flavor and is generally useless. Once you get to the bottom, you realize you have a half-soggy cereal straw with no milk to wash it down with.

God damn, it’s like a snake eating its own tail!

Alas, cereal straws are apparently too cool for the laws of this universe and exist only as fun, yet impractical novelties.

Item: Froot Loops Cereal Straws
Price: $2.00
Purchased at: Wal-Mart
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Froot Loops flavor and fragrance. Snackable without milk. Actually works as a straw. My buddy “Two-Can Sam.”
Cons: Ridiculously pointless. Extremely artificial taste. Alcohol poisoning. Daffy Duck’s speech impediment. Can’t drink and eat at same time.

Year 3, Day 84: Sick!

I guess I passed out a few times over the night. Very bad. Not sure exactly what happened; it had something to do with the worst leg cramp I've ever had. Usually they wake me up, but then they go away. This one just went on and on and on. Until I guess I fell out of the bed (and consequently chipped my tooth). Emily couldn't wake me, and as she was doing the old cheek-slapping bit, I guess Ruby came in and asked if everything was OK. Emily called 911. When I came to, she told me to get dressed and come downstairs because they would soon be here. I must say the firemen (where were the paramedics?) were awfully gruff with me. It boiled down to: did I want to go to the hospital? Answer: I did not.

I stayed home from work; stayed in bed. Took a break only to go see the doctor, who I am not crazy about. No surprise, they couldn't tell us anything. I went home and got in bed.

8 Saltines
1 Slice of White Toast
Tea
Gatorade
Banana
1 Bite of Apple-Banana-Strawberry Applesauce

I managed to keep track of what I was eating, but unlike the few other stomach/GI illnesses I have had since starting the program, this time I literally could only focus on the worst possible (read anti-South Beach) things: white toast, gatorade, saltines. I made my peace with it and tried to focus on getting better. The day after, we were all convinced it was the Blue Ribbon salad. My sister-in-law even lodged a complaint. The irony of irony: Blue Ribbon's response was "we get our salad from Russo's."

Year 2, Day 285: Sickness Continues

By the time this particular round of illness made it to me it was bad but not quite as bad as it had been for any of the other members of my family. While I was "sickened" I mostly felt tragically unwell but there was no culmination of any kind. It continues to be a challenge to imagine, then create food that I think I can eat. Whether or not it is appealing is a whole other issue.

Breakfast
2 Eggs
1 Slice Balthazar Multi-grain bread
Coffee

Lunch:
6 oz. Vanilla Yogurt
1 Slice "Health" Bread
2 Hard Boiled Eggs
2 Bites Cantaloupe

Dinner:
1 Breast of Chicken

The great thing about not having processed food in your house is that when you want to eat something you have to make it. So I decided to get a chicken breast and broil it. I have to say it was pretty good, and that's a sign that I'm coming out of this thing. The other thing that has not been helping is that I have been prepping for my "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" moment in local politics and it's not going that well. It's not exactly a great time to be sick. But when is a great time to be sick?

Year 2, Day 284: Robert Gets Sick

I suppose it was inevitable that I get this stomach virus that's going around. And here I thought I wasn't going to get it because Magnolia, Emily and Ruby had gotten it and I was taking care of all of them and not having a problem. Not so fast, Smith. I had a bad night last night and this morning went to work but after a few hours realized I couldn't hack it and went home.

Breakfast
1 Slice Balthazar Multigrain bread
Coffee

Lunch
6 oz Vanilla Yogurt

Other:
7 Kedem Tea Cookies
Tea with honey

Dinner
2 Hard Boiled Eggs
1 Slice Multigrain bread

Is it sick to wonder if you will lose weight when having a stomach illness? I really was just thinking that it's hard to nurse yourself back to health on starchy foods and stay on your diet. The truth is that some of the Whole Foods offerings are not all that appetizing to an unsettled stomach. I made an exception today and had Vanilla yogurt, with its high sugar and carbohydrate count. It was about the most SoBe friendly thing I could stomach that wasn't made of flour.

Year 2, Day 283: Monday with Sick Kids

So there is a long story with the allergist, but what's important to know is that it got to like a Seinfeld-level of comedy that we couldn't cancel the appointment even though we didn't think it was necessary to go. Emily had previously gotten into hot water with that office for scheduling, then canceling, then crying desperation, then making, and canceling a few successive appointments. We were basically on their shit list. Additionally, we had a problem with them because there was a short-tempered nurse who dismissed Ruby (as a 3-year old) when she couldn't use the inhaler. If you know any three year olds or how to use an inhaler, you'll know why the nurse should have had more patience. After all was said and done, I think we were glad we did go. He disagreed with our pediatrician's assessment of Ruby's condition and told us what to do. That gave me hope because nothing up till that point was helping. Even if the treatment doesn't help, I had to acknowledge that the way they test kids is novel, and very appropriate. They have you blow into a tube attached to a computer that has pictures of birthday candles. What kid doesn't want to blow out birthday candles? Ruby was talking about it all the way home and asked if we could 'get that game on our computer.' It's one of those moments as a parent that you laugh and mumble something under your breath, try to change the subject and hope your kid sees a bright shiny object.

Breakfast
Kashi Go Lean
Heritage Flakes
Blueberries
A Small Banana
Unsweetened Soy Milk
Coffee

Snack:
1 oz Boston Lite Popcorn
3 Sticks Beef Jerky

Lunch:
Hamburger
Cabbage Salad

Dinner
Mini-Brussel Sprouts
Steak Tips with Onions

By the time I got home I had to face the fact that I was sick. When you live in a multi-person household you always think you can avoid it. I did for quite a while, but then it looks like the virus was hitting people in a linear style, not all at once. Whatever it is, I have it now and I have had to take to bed. More later.