Day 215: The New Year (for some)

Being on the diet for so long has definitely changed my outlook on many things, but none so apparent around now as the Jewish holidays. For instance, this was the easiest Passover without bread ever—I think I only had two pieces of Matzoh for the entire time. Matzoh, for those who care, is bad because it's made with white flour, and generally tastes bad. So it's bad for you and bad tasting—that's really something! I did long for a matzoh cream cheese and jelly sandwich, but I just added that to the list. I am hoping that I find fasting equally easy. We'll see, as getting through dessert could be challenging enough. Then there's the whole atoning thing. Yeesh.

Breakfast
2 small slices Harvest Pumpkin Seed Bread
Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack
Medium Dunkin Donuts Coffee (half decaf)
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
8 dried apricots
1 apple (fuji)
30 pistachios

Lunch (Sushi 21)
Bento Box- Seafood (and two slices of chicken)
Salad, Pickled Radish and Shumai

Dinner
Cod with Leeks
90% Sirloin Burger
Peppadews
Pickles

It was a strange day, as again, I felt like I was eating a lot. It also feels like I'm eating a lot when I'm not exercising. I think I may have to work out one morning a week in addition to the weekend, as I think the weather will grow increasingly unreliable as we move into the fall. Also, I think no matter how many walks there are, the workouts are a basic I need to keep, and vary. I did sign up for the JCC again today, in case in anyone was hanging on the edge on that one.

Day 214: Lost My Blog Entry

Sadly, I wrote an entire blog entry and due to a malfunctioning of the blogger software, lost everything. I am too tired and despondent (I didn't, as usual, copy it to a text document) to rewrite it. So you'll have to do without all the laughs and excruciating detail that I had described my crappy Bertucci's dinner. Really, it was a masterpiece. Now, all gone. Maybe tomorrow night I'll have the wherewithal to try again.

Breakfast
6 oz Yoplait Yogurt Blueberry
1 cup strawberries/blueberries
Tea

Snack
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
8 dried apricots
coffee (half decaf)

Lunch
Shrimp 'n' Broccoli
Sliced Chicken with Spinach

Dinner
The World's Worst Caesar Salad with Chicken

After dinner Necessity-Eat
1 Fuji Apple
1 oz. cracker barrel yellow
1 oz. 50% jalapeno lite cheddar

When you eat regular cheese and 50% back-to-back, you can really tell the difference. Reminds me that I live half in the world of natural food (fruits, vegetables, steamed food and whole wheats) and the other half in the substitute world (lite yogurt, lite nips, egg beaters, I can't believe it's not butter). The natural world is better, but I can't live without the occasional sweet thing.

Day 213: No Walkees

Another day without walking. I very much wanted to take advantage of the beautiful day, but my day was such that it didn't work out—I got to work late and had my heart set on trying out this burrito place for lunch. I thought long and hard about it, and decided that I could probably afford a once-a-quarter 10" flour tortilla. So we went to Tango Mango for lunch. It wasn't so great that I had to go again anytime soon, and I realized I probably could have had the component parts without the flour. But what the hell.

Breakfast
1 Slice Mastmacher Bread
1 tsp peanut butter
tea

Snack
1 fuji apple
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
30 or so pistachios
8 dried apricots

Lunch
quesadilla—cheese, pork, red beans, broccoli, guacamole, salsa, hot sauce
diet pepsi

dinner
90% sirloin burger, chicken strips
broccoli
peppadews
pickles

ephemera (from magnolia)
apple sauce (1 bite)
blueberry (1/2 one)

There are some obvious problems starting to creep in, aside from the occasional birthday cake fragment and a flour tortilla. I have to get moving (am going to join the JCC again, I think) and must keep my snacks down. It's been a little stressful, so I have been indulging more. I also find that if I have snacks in my office, I'll eat them. Now this normally isn't a problem, but I notice that it's getting too tempting and I can only bring one day's worth of snacks at a time. I am on edge, most definitely.

Fahrenheit 212

Emily commented that today I was wearing a shirt that was too tight when I bought it. I used to, as a rule, buy 2XL shirts, both because I like t-shirts roomy and because any other size was very unflattering. You don't want 226lbs in an XL, really. But lately I have not only been buying my shirts XL (like at the McCartney concert last night), but I have been wearing shirts that have not fit me for about 10 years. This is exciting, because it means I can reclaim many of my fave shirts that have found their home in Emily's drawer.

Breakfast
1 Slice Harvest Bread
Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack

8 Dried Apricots
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1 Fuji apple (the red, not green)
2 Bonbell Cheeses
~50 Pistachios

Lunch
~5 Strawberries
Ham and Cheese Roll Mops (4) with Mustard
Romaine Heart
Olives

Dinner
Sole with Leeks a la Emily
Broccoli
1 Slice Ham with Cream Cheese (Leftover from Ruby's plate)

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: Emily becoming a great Wok-chef has been the saving-grace of the past few months of the diet. The food is delicious, low-fat, low-carb and delicious. It really makes all the difference when you love what you eat. She really does a great job nearly every night for dinner. I am very lucky. Now I gotta get out there and get a gym membership.

Day 211: Back in the USSR

No matter how bad going to New York (metro) is, coming home is worse, even though it's such a relief. So often it is a rainy, dreary affair. Today was no different. Without really an idea of what we were going to eat in the car, we joylessly packed up and got the kids in. I had taken the day off of work in order so that we didn't have to leave on Sunday after arriving on Saturday—that's too much for us—we amble slowly. It also worked out that I was going to see Paul McCartney at the Fleet Center/Boston Garden/Whatever it's called, so I was quite eager to get on the road. When we were all packed and kids in, we realized that the car was TOTALLY DEAD. Like calling AAA dead. Emily saved the day by stalking the neighborhood and finding a workman with cables in his car (apparently this is getting harder to find nowadays). We got on the road only about a half hour late and I made it to the concert with plenty of time.

Breakfast
Whole wheat English muffin
Peanut Butter
3 oz Jalapeno Cheese (of the 50% variety)
Coffee and Tea

Lunch
Scrambled Eggs
2.5 Strips Turkey Bacon
More Cheese

Etc.
Cashews & Almonds
More Cheese
4 McDonald's French Fries (one with ketchup)

Pre-Concert Dinner
Boneless Chicken Fingers with Blue Cheese & Celery
Steak Tips
Mesclun Greens
Cole Slaw
String Beans

Not too surprisingly, I fell into a near-cheese-coma by the time we reached Stamford. This made it very difficult to be excited about the night's events. I was feeling quite ill for quite a while until about the half way mark when we stopped because we needed to go to the bathroom, Ruby was hungry and Magnolia was crying. I got Ruby a "Mighty Meal" which is basically a 'happy meal' with 'the same great toy." Not sure why it's more expensive, then? Amazingly, she picked the chicken nuggets meal, and possibly even more amazingly, she eschewed the french fries. After feeling totally car sick, the combination of fresh air and delicious SMELLING McDonald's food got the best of me and I ate a few fries. I remained fairly unwell until we got back to Boston. Then I got my appetite back, as you can read. The concert was a great time, despite the fact that Paul made the whole stadium full of people sing the "Nah Nah Nah Nah" refrain from Hey Jude. And I thought I came there to hear HIM sing.

Day 210: Looking Back on Food, Fondly

I don't have to tell you that one of the greatest things about New York is the ubiquitous availability of the greatest food in the world. For nearly 20 years, my trips down to New York were almost always centered on what I was going to eat. Literally, I kid you not, there was always at least one plan (if only in my mind) about a particular meal I would eat or a place to eat at. I think this is a common thing for anyone who lives somewhere where they get accustomed to the meals. It's only that New York has an endless supply of them, from Deli to Sushi, and from morning bake and cakeries to late-evening noshing. Of course, my favorite was always the Deli from Kensington Deli, which even among the titans of New York, like 2nd Avenue Deli, Katz's and The Carnegie holds its own.

Breakfast
Whole Wheat English Muffin
1 tsp Peanut Butter
2 oz. Jalapeno Cheddar 50% Lite

Post Tennis Snack
Cantaloupe
6 oz blueberry yogurt 'lite' yoplait
nutsapalooza

Lunch
Corned beef/Pastrami Rollmops with Mustard
.5 oz cheddar cheese stick
Cole slaw
a apple of questionable age

Dinner
Steak Strips
Caesar Salad
Ass't Vegetables: Eggplant, Zucchini, Tomato, String Beans, Carrots
Some Apple sauce I gave to Magnolia.

It was good to get out on the Tennis court. My opponent (in this case my brother-in-law) said the change in my speed was noticeable. Obviously, I credit the domania gang for getting me out walking and the elliptical machine at the JCC for building my stamina. I would have liked to play for another hour and half (we were out there for about 90 minutes as it was), but it was not to be. I would love it if I could get into a Tennis rotation here in Boston. If anyone has ideas, let me know.

Day 209—SoBe: Meet Cake, Eat Cake. Growl.

One of the things that Emily and I have not yet mastered is how to plan a car-trip at lunch time. Fortunately for our kids, we have gotten good at making things they can eat in the car (thank God for hot-dog buns!). But otherwise, it's a rather lonely parade of nuts, fruits, cheeses. Emily did have an exciting discovery about eating a Fuji apple (my Mom was right) and a Cracker Barrel cheese stick together. It's amazing how eating right is sometimes its own reward. The footnote is when you're hungry and you stop at a McDonald's. But more on that later.

Breakfast:
Eggs
Bacon
Cheese

Pre Car Ride Snack:
Apple with Peanut Butter
Coffee

Car Ride:
Cantaloupe Pieces
Nuts-a-plenty

Lunch
Whole Wheat English Muffin
Melted Jarlsberg
Tuna Salad

Dinner
Hummus
Cucumber and Tomato Salad
Eggplant in Tomato Sauce
2 Fried Feta Egg Rolls
About 5 Chicken Kebab
1 Swordfish Kebob
~1 glass white wine
1 Maddening Grab at some ice Cream Cake

We went to the New York metro region (in this case, actually New Jersey) to celebrate my father-in-law's 82nd birthday. It wasn't his birthday (but it was close) and there was a big gathering with family at what I must admit is a fantastic Middle Eastern restaurant. Now usually, if I'm gearing up to go to a party, I would eat something right before hand, so as not to break into a mad-frenzy-feeding once arriving. However, today I was not so smart. I ate a big breakfast to try and tide me over for the car ride, and we ate a bunch in the car. Then we had just a wee-lunch at around 2pm, and so by 7pm (when food arrived at party) I was pretty ravenous. I mostly filled up on good SoBe stuff, but two fried feta egg rolls later I was swinging off the SoBe ladder dangerously. I tried to get it together but our hostess kept wine-ing me and on my way out of the party, I was taken aback at nearly an entire slice of ice cream cake that went uneaten. This, unexpectedly, caused me to lunge for it, and eat one big bite (with a bit of a snickers bar in it). I was loving and hating myself at the same time. Now, this is the same ice cream cake (or a version of it) from Ruby's birthday party. It is made with the greatest ice cream and lots of different candy, with a really oreo (with filling inside) crust. Words don't do it justice, but I sure was mad it got to me.

Day 208: Slogging it Out

Another day, another dose of peanut butter. My neighborhood situation is bad; and I have to travel imminently. A total bummer. And not enough walks this week at work, even though the weather was cooperating.

Breakfast
1 Slice Pumpkin Seed Harvest Bread
1 Tsp(s) Peanut Butter
3 oz Cheese
Tea

Snack
1 Dragon Stick
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
8 apricots
Olives

Lunch (Strip-Ts)
Greek Salad with Grilled Chicken

Dinner
Hamburger
Cabbage
Pickles
Peppadews

Apricots and Olives are key. Though you do see overweight people in the Mediterranean, they are rare. It's because when you eat a diet of apricots and olives you are constantly filling your salty/sweet needs, with generally good for you foods. However, I must warn you than 8 apricots really should be your limits. People forget that dried fruit (such as prunes) have a purpose besides baking and snacking (I'm reading from the label now).

207: A Dorito Came into My Life

Is it weird that I think I'll have to find a new breakfast or people will no longer be interested in reading my blog? I really, really want to find something else to eat for you, but I think I could eat the same three or four things everyday. One of the amazing things about being on the diet, and not eating carbs, is how infrequently I ever get to a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or place like that. I can remember when a trip to Dunkin' or Starbucks was an everyday occurrence. Forget the money, but everyday it was a frosted oatmeal scone (from Beans); a corn muffin (from Au Bon Pain, still my favorite); or a coffee roll (from Dunkin Donuts). Starbucks, despite its stranglehold on the world, offers substandard bakery products that I don't miss. I also was a big bagel trafficker. Often (especially in 2000-2001) would I fetch a satchel of bagels'n'cream cheese for the office, sometimes quaffing several in a day. Yep, those were the good old days.

Breakfast
1 Lonely Ol' Piece of Wheat Toast
Peanut Butter
2 oz 50% Jalapeno Lite Cheddar
Tea

Der Snack-ums
1 Fuji Apple (they're quite good when you can keep them properly)
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
10 dried apricots

Lunch
Chinois Salad (from Not Your Average Joes)—A Travesty

Dinner
90% Hamburger
Sauteed Cabbage
Pickles
Peppadews
4 Doritos (2 Cool Ranch, 2 Regular)

My lunch today was problematic because it contained a huge quantity of fruit (oranges), a sugary dressing, and crispy Chinese noodles that were listed on the menu as "wontons." In my experience, wonton is a dumpling that comes in soup, not a fried noodle. In any case, there were so many that it made eating the salad difficult and because of the heavy, sugary dressing the fried noodles (not wontons) were disintegrating and so I could not separate them properly. Oh well, it's still better than a twinkie. When I got home it was "Back to School Night" so Emily skee-daddled while I was trying to get Ruby to eat her tuna. She usually likes it with tortilla chips, but tonight they had been shunted aside. Since tortilla chips are used as a substitute fork and promote the eating of the tuna, I was eager to get a chip into her hand, because in reality she had little to no interest in eating her tuna. So I thought, I'll just get one of the several hundred bags of Doritos from the closet and see if she'll like them. Of course, I try them first so she knows they are OK. Even then, she doesn't like either of them and both bags go to waste. However, I did note they have less carbs and fat than some yogurts I could mention. I'll have to keep that in mind....

206: Sucrose in My Toothpaste

It's already so hard to do everything right—be a good person, floss daily, save money, eat right, exercise, tolerate annoying people—sometimes it's actually overwhelming. Then, you realize that there's SUGAR in your toothpaste, and everywhere you look. If it's not sugar it's corn syrup, either as High Fructose Corn Syrup or some other form. No one was very interested when I described drinking poisonous tree extract in Fresca, but it's out there, believe me. Today I tried to get back in the saddle. I did the sad part OK.

Breakfast
2 Eggs Over Easy (killed the yolk during the flip; was cleaning it up for five minutes afterward)
2 Strips turkey bacon
3 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Snack
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
12 oz coffee (half decaf)
1 fuji apple (that I dropped twice: once in my own driveway, and once in my work parking lot. Determined not to let it go, i washed it thoroughly and I ate around the bad parts. There were many)
8 dried apricots

Lunch
3 Roll Mops—2 slices black forest ham, 2 slices low-fat mozzarella, mustard
1 heart o' romaine
olives

Dinner
Shrimp & Snap Peas
Cabbagy greek salad
1 crab leg

I have this Nalgene-style water bottle at work (and one like it at home). Since I drink about three filled ones a day, I assume I drinking somewhere in the neighborhood of 96 oz of water. Yes, it's great to drink water when you're on a diet, but it has ONE VERY ANNOYING SIDE EFFECT. And if you have a hard time concentrating already, that is not good to add to the pile. On the plus side, it is good practice for getting old.

Day 205: Lost My Sense of Humor

I don't want to complain, really. You have enough people in your life that do nothing but blather on. But today was truly one of those tough, tough days. Things bad at home (stairs project gone awry); things bad at work (client work going awry); things bad at the neighborhood (neighbor relations gone awry) and being constantly haunted by the twin specters of money problems and a 1 lb Trader Joe's chocolate bar I keep in my office for emergencies. I almost broke it out today. Fortunately, I stuffed myself with nuts and the feeling passed. Then, after what seemed like an endless day, the day came to a close. I broke out the wine for a special occasion—pity.

Breakfast
1 cup Fruit: Nectarine and Blueberries
6 oz Strawberry "Lite" Yogurt
Tea

Snack
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
12 oz black coffee (half decaf)
1 dragon stick
1 cheese stick
2 oz. Planters salted peanuts

Lunch
Beef kebab
Greek Salad

Dinner
Turkey, Onions
Sauteed Cabbage

Dessert
1 Glass Zinfandel

I must also add that I am grateful to the people at work for being helpful and tolerating me in my blathering, lost state. Tomorrow is the ye olde book fair at Ruby's school, and that is bound to lift my spirits. Also today, Gary finally wrote back, ending the 45-day embargo. It wasn't much, but it was proof that maybe good things come to those who wait.

Day 204: Anxiety Eater

Though Mondays are always challenging, today was difficult because I knew that I was going to attend yet another neighborhood meeting about a proposed project going up (literally) in my backyard. Though I had earlier written here that I beat back my anxiety eating, today I found this not to be true. Between a client presentation that I was trying to finish before a call, and the looming meeting that I knew would be filled with tension, I could not keep my hands off of anything that was near me. It's fortunate that I don't keep chocolate in my office. As it was, I has to resort to snacking on computer screen cleansing sheets.

Breakfast
1 Slice WPF Six Grain and Pumpkin Seed Bread
1 Tsp Peanut Butter
1.5 oz 50% Jalapeno Lite Cheddar

Lunch (Whole Foods "Hot Bar")
A skoach of brown rice
Chili Con Carne
a wee bit of chicken, guacamole
some cheese

Snacken
1 joy stick
1/2 cup almonds/cashews
1 granny smith apple
1 blueberry yogurt

Dinner
Sole a la Emily
Leftover Veg: Yesterday's Leeks, Asparagus and Broccoli

I thought I had eaten so much today that when it was finally time for dinner (8:17) I though I might 'skip' to make up for all the calories I had consumed. Alas, that was not the case. Once again, there's always tomorrow.

203: The Wedding

How best to prepare for a mid-day wedding? Why, bring my own snacks and have a big breakfast of course. Even these good preparations were no match for an 11:30 wedding and an endless stream of shrimp, bacon-wrapped scallops and chicken satay. But I did try.

Breakfast
2 Eggs, Over Easy (broke the yolks this AM)
2.5 Strips Turkey O'Bacon
2.4 oz Jalapeno Cheddar
Tea

Pre-Wedding Snack
1/4 cup Almonds/Cashews
1 Braeburn Apple (20% mealy, thrown away)

@ Wedding
Broccoli, Cauliflower, Cantaloupe, Strawberries, Cheese
5 Bacon-wrapped Scallops
6 Shrimp 'n' cocktail sauce
2 chicken satay
1 Salmon
Buttery Vegetables
1.5 bites of Wedding Cake

Dinner
Steak Tips
Broccoli
Asparagus
Leeks

It was a big eating day. The best thing I could do for myself was not snack when I got home (though I was tempted); not eat any more dinner than I was hungry for; and try to get up and do it right tomorrow. So, that's the plan.

202: They Can Put a Man on the Moon...

...but they can't figure out how to make earphones for the iPod that don't get tangled up every time you so much as take one step away from them. Look, I love Apple, but this is out of control. I spend at least 5 minutes of my total workout time doing this. Something must be done. I'm not sure if the next generation will continue to say "They can put a man on the moon, but..." but it's something every mother of all of my friends used to say about everything.

Breakfast
3 Whites, 2 Yolks
4 Slices of Tuscan Ham
2.4 oz Jalapeno Cheddar (Lite)
Coffee

Snack
6 oz. Stonyfield Chocolate Yogurt (Fat-free)
Lots o nuts
Cheese Stick

Lunch
Peppers, Onions & Ham
Peppadews

Dinner
85% hamburger
Greek Salad
Pickles

Can you tell we have a lot of ham in the house that we need to go through? It's true. Today Ruby had a birthday party and it was at the Boston Sports Club, which has a tony facility in Wellesley. I was impressed enough to seek out the membership person, even though it's a bit farther away than the JCC. It's $115 a MONTH. Wow, I could buy an elliptical machine for that and have a cheaper monthly nut. Those people are nuts. Really gave me some perspective on the ol' JCC today when I was there. I can tell you there were no old man in short-sleeved flannel shirts with leather shoes and dark socks doing the row-boat machine at the Boston Sports Club today, no sirreee. I need that. That's part of what keeps me going back.

Day 201: Snack Control Fails

This completed nearly a whole week of the same breakfast. I just couldn't get it together to eat anything different, everything else was too complicated while trying to make Ruby's breakfast and preparing her lunch. I love this breakfast, but it's not great to eat the same food every day, for your diet, for your low-carbing, or just simply your joie de vivre. But it really helps to not have to THINK so early in the morning.

Breakfast
2 Slices of Multi-Grain Anadama Bread
Tsp Peanut Butter
2.4 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Cheese

Snack
12 oz. coffee
1 Apple (it was little mealy)
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
1 oz peanuts
30 pistachios
1 dragon stick
1 cheese stick
1 nip (60 calories)

Lunch (Sushi 21)
Bento Box: Seafood Teryaki, Salad

Dinner
Chicken and Cabbage

There's no doubt that this was a big snack day. I just couldn't get a hold of myself. One thing that's happening is that I'm getting up earlier and eating breakfast earlier; getting to work earlier; having my first snack earlier. But today I just was so hungry and I kept eating and I was still hungry. I think maybe the ice cream of yesterday set off a chain reaction. I must get back to basics and keeping it to 1 snack betwixt lunch and dinner and 1 snack betwixt breakfast and lunch (and no dessert).

Now I just have to get past the birthday party, Bingo night and wedding this weekend and I'll be fine...

Day 200: Independence From Lethargy

Despite the fact that I still don't get to bed on time, and am woken up several times during the night by children, I still feel like I have better energy all the time. I remember many a Friday night or weekend when I just couldn't lift a finger. Someone under 40 should never have to feel that way, but now I know it was all those unhealthy carbs and poor eating choices (e.g. "I'll just have this bowl of Rice Chex before bed.") Here, on day 200, I am taking a moment to reflect on that.

Breakfast
1 Slice WPFMGA Bread
1 Tsp Peanut butter
2.4 oz 50% Lite Jalapeno Cheddar Cheese
Tea

Snack
1/4 cup almonds/cashews
30 pistachios
1 baby bonbel cheese

Lunch (Chinese V.1)
Sliced Chicken with Spinach
Shredded Pork with Cabbage and Celery

Dinner (Chinese V.2)
Steak with Scallions
Chicken with Broccoli
Teryaki Beef
1 Chow Fun Noodle
Ass't Chinese Noodles
Egg Drop Soup

Dessert
4 oz. Nutrasweet Fat Free Chocolate/Carmel

On this day, it just so happened that Emily's sister and brother in law were over, and volunteered to stay with the kids while we went out. So after my second Chinese meal of the day (which included a brief insane moment of eating crunchy-noodles) we set out for a date. Well, at 10 of 9, there isn't much you can do in the sleepy 'burbs, so naturally we went out for an ice cream cone. We went to the Big Dipper, but they were closed. So we went to check out Cold Stone Creamery, but we both found their product less than acceptable. So we hoofed it over to J.P. Licks ("20 Years of Licks") and split the absolutely, lowest-calorie, lowest-fat, lowest-sugar product they had in the 2nd smallest size. It was very little like ice cream, except that it was cold and wet. And that was enough.

Day 199: Baby Elephant Walk

A quick one tonight—as the stress of last night's neighborhood meeting begins to recede, and Magnolia starts to move her legs, things seem to seem not as bad. For that, as Emily's father would often say, I am grateful to all the 'black and white gods.'

Breakfast
Whole Wheat English Muffin
1 Tsp Peanut Butter
1.2 oz Jalapeno Lite Cheese
Tea

Snack
1/4 cup mixed nuts
1 dragon stick
1 not quite yummy apple
45 pistachios

Lunch
Greek Salad with Chicken

Dinner (Elephant Walk)
(I thought I would take the liberty of putting the menu descriptions here, since I could not describe it any other way).

Rouleaux: Cambodian spring rolls filled with ground pork, crushed peanut, beanthread, carrot
and onion; served with fresh greens and herbs for wrapping and tuk trey on the side for dipping

Loc Lac: Cubed beef tenderloin sautéed in lightly caramelized black pepper, garlic and
mushroom soy; on a bed of shredded lettuce with a black pepper, garlic and lime dipping sauce

Salade Cambodgienne: Shredded cabbage, carrots and chicken with fresh red bell peppers, mint, basil,
roasted peanuts and onions; dressed with tuk trey

Poulet Dhomrei: Sliced chicken breast sautéed in an aromatic sauce of lemongrass, galangal, coconut
milk, lime juice and chilies; with fresh pineapple, sweet peas and wild lime leaves

Grilled Whole Fish: Grilled whole 10 oz de-boned trout marinated in garlic, jalapeno and lime juice; served
with chili-lime tuk trey, Cambodian and sweet pepper pickles

Plus a few glasses of Pinot Gris. Now I am tired and must rest. More tomorrow.

Day 198: The Stress-inator

Today, I was just totally stressed out. I could not stop thinking about this meeting about my neighborhood tonight and it really came close to unsettling me completely. I suppose the best thing you could say is that I used to consider myself a 'stress eater,' as well as an 'anxiety eater,' but I guess I have licked that. Not the stress or anxiety, but the need to cram a cruller in my gullet when the onset came. I see now that I can forego that particular brand of salve for now.

Breakfast
Whole Wheat English Muffin
Tsp Peanut Butter
1.2 oz Jalapeno Cheddar
A few bites of a nectarine

Snack
1/4 cup mixed Almonds/cashews
1 dragon stick
60 pistachios

Lunch
Greek Salad with Chicken

Dinner
Shrimp Creole (made by Emily & Wendy)
Brown Rice

The meeting went OK. I stressed out for no reason (OK, you never did that before?) On the other hand, I need to a much better job than I am doing of finding new foods to eat. As I quoted in a South Beach email, plateauing can be the result of just eating the same foods all the time. There is no doubt that with few exceptions, I am eating the same foods all the time. I must change this if I am ever to slim down. I do not wish to stay 196. I suppose if I can stay at 196 throughout the holiday season(s), both Jewish and American, it will really be an accomplishment.

Day 197: That Sinking Feeling

It's official: I've plateaued. Saw Detecto today and it was a rousing 196, again. If it hasn't been absolutely crystal-clear to all the readers, then it will be today. It's about two months since I've hit my goal weight loss (30 lbs) and though there have been nights out at expensive restaurants, poker games, and visits to Martha's Vineyard (but no pig roast- sorry, Gary, maybe next year if you've forgiven me by then). Though I am surprised that I have stayed at the same weight I am also kind of glad that I have not gained any weight. To be able to maintain your weight is a skill that I never worked at- I just gained over the years. I know that only two things can get me to my next goal weight of 185 lbs—harder exercise and more stringent dieting. I am not sure I am ready to go there, and I've learned anything from my time on SoBe, it's that you can't go where you aren't ready to go. Well you can, but you won't stay long.

Breakfast
1 Whole Wheat English Muffin
1 oz. 50% Jalapeno Cheddar Cheese
Tea

Snack
Medium Dunkin Donuts coffee (half decaf)
1/4 cup mixed almonds/cashews
1 joy stick
1 nectarine

Lunch
1 Bacon Omlette with Goat Cheese and Sun Dried Tomatoes
More Coffee
2 Potato Wedges
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast with Butter

Dinner
Salmon Steak
Broccoli

I'm thinking that the feeling of wellness I had the other day was not wellness arriving, but actually leaving—and the purpose of my awareness of it was that so I can remember what it was like during the days to come. I was kind of in a funk after the visit to the Dr., and at lunch I had for myself a slice of buttered whole wheat toast. It was good. The potatoes were hot, but not crispy. But they were good too. With all of this going on, I have to find a new gym, too, as I don't think I can sign up for a individual pass to the JCC which I think is something like $700. Does anyone know if that's a reasonable price for a gym membership? Because I'm thinking if I'm entrepreneurial I could be like Rocky Balboa, and chase chickens and punch meat for free.

Day 196: September 11th

I can't say that I spent most of the day thinking about the terror attacks of 2001, or even about my friend Ray, who died then. But, if you want, you can read what I wrote in 2002 (http://sneakerworks.com/images/september_02.jpg). I have been thinking about important things, and my head has been getting kind of screwy. To solve this, I went to the gym and kept an unprecedented 6.0 mph rate on the elliptical, by which I got to three miles in under 35:00 minutes, which I think is the fastest I've ever done. I can tell you that while it didn't clear my head, it was very helpful and therapeutic. It's true what they say about those endorphins. Also, I'm planning to go see Detecto tomorrow, so I wanted to be prepared.

Breakfast
1 Whole Wheat English Muffin
1 Tsp Peanut Butter
10 oz. Coffee
1 oz Cracker Barrel Yellow

Snack
1 oz. Cracker Barrel Yellow
6 oz Yoplait Yogurt with 5 Strawberries
2.5 Fistfuls of Cashews/Almonds

Lunch
Greek Salad with Tuna
4 oz. Lowfat Cottage Cheese

Dinner
Teriyaki Steak Tips
Peppadews
Broccoli

I did feel good after working out, but now feel a bit blah. I suspect I will have gained some weight back tomorrow, and I 'm not that keen to find that out. There is a line in the Barbie Movie (Princess & The Pauper) that Ruby made us watch 1,000 times that I hear in my head over and over again: "Courage is the key that opens every door." So even though I'm afraid, I'm going to go to that scale and see what happens. To quote Woody Allen, "90% of life is just showing up."