Day 92

No gym today, but a lot of anxiety, brought on by the end of a long weekend. Again, lack of planning can lead to some unorthodox, and even un-SoBe like food choices, but I think I came out OK in the end. Since the sun couldn't make up its mind about what it wanted to do, Ruby and I alternatively went out and stayed in, and got wet. I was hoping we would ride a lot of bikes, but alas that didn't get happen, though I did push her 55lbs around the block in the new baby-jogger we got (it was a hand-me-down). I took her to millennium park in Dedham and we ran around there for a while, but it wasn't quite the workout I was hoping for, especially considering I've been on a nut-bender for the whole of Memorial Day weekend.

Breakfast
1 Multi-grain English Muffin
3 Tsps of Peanut Butter (more evidence that nuts are out of control)
Tea

Snack
1/2 Granny Smith Apple
2 Cheese Sticks
1/2 cup of unsalted nut mix (from Whole Foods, which does not contain peanuts)
1 Joy Stick (0 net carbs)

Lunch
Greek Salad with Chicken

Mezzo Snack
6 oz. Vanilla Yoplait "lite" yogurt
1 cup Strawberries
1/16th cup Grape Nuts (which are neither, discuss)

Dinner
Soy Chicken (was meant for the grill, but we didn't get it out)
Broccoli

Will be seeing my old pal "Detecto" tomorrow in the AM. Have been thinking alot, especially at the gym, about what people have been saying about not losing weight or even gaining weight as you lose muscle. Another part of the SoBe is to return carbs to your diet—until you get to the point, which is when you are not losing—or gasp—gaining weight. So if the news is not good, I know I will have cut back on some of the stuff that's out there and possibly return to my Phase One ways.

As always, your guess is as good as mine.

Day 91: Gym Daze

I was able to get to the gym today, and I did note a few things that bear describing. One, a woman dressed in total street clothes, including a floral print blouse and black jeans and sunglasses walking for an hour on the treadmill. Two, people reading magazines on their recumbent bikes. Three, an old man with a big belly, walking VERY slowly into the gym with what looked like a second-generation sony Walkman (circa 1980). I noted a few things that I am still having difficulty with at the gym:

1. Making sure the iPod earphones are not in a birds-nest tangle. I spent the first three minutes of my workout just trying to get enough length so I wasn't hunching over the machine. A few times I really had to concentrate so I didn't fall down and interrupt the machine's timekeeping.

2. Bringing/keeping the right things to the gym. I got the keys, water, iPod, gum, wallet, gym pass, sweatshirt, towel, there's a lot going on. You're supposed to put stuff on the shelf as you come in. But I'm from NY— I can't do that. I throw it behind the exercise machine. This is frowned on. Also, bringing the right TYPE of towel is key. You can't just bring a beach towel, no, it has to be just the right size.

3. Replacing the towel. About halfway through (and sooner, some days) I need to wipe my face and head. This requires picking up the towel, wiping, then replacing it. I have about a 40% success rate. Often, I am JUST BARELY getting it so it stays. Today it dropped twice. Each time the machine said "workout suspended." I glared at it, disbelievingly, to no effect whatsoever.

Today for the first time I did the stairstepper-thing (you can see it at http://us.commercial.lifefitness.com/content.cfm/91x). I see people on it all the time, but today was the first time I had the guts to get out of the cheap seats and try something different. I'll tell you I was sweating like crazy within a few minutes. People on either side of me had the red EKG readouts looking like Mt. Washington, mine was a flat-line. So sad. But I did 32:00 minutes (the posted limit is 30 minutes, another reason I am bound to be exiled) then walked six times around the track (that's a quarter mile). I had done 2.25 miles on the cardio thing, so overall I thought I did quite well. I am almost starting to think that I COULD, as someone once noted, exercise enough to make eating pizza guilt-free a reality.

Breakfast
Two Eggs Over
2 Strips Turkey Bacon (J.O. natch)
Tea

Snack
1/2 Cup Unsalted Mixed Nuts
2 Cheese Sticks
Ass't Fruit (a few grapes, a few raspberries, 1 strawberry)
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Greek Salad with Tuna, Feta, Vidalia Onions

Dinner
Shrimp Cocktail,
Romaine Lettuce
3 Small Bites (made for Ruby) cheeseburger

So it was a weird eating day. Emily wanted me to get Mag at 9:30 which is earlier than usual—I was just sitting down to my eggs. I got the baby and then decided to take all the kids to Allendale farm to buy some berries (and a cookie the size of Ruby's head). When I returned, I twice tried to make oatmeal and failed (this is akin to my flipping-the-egg problem, but I will write more about that later). Then, Mag needed a nap, so I eschewed a third attempt and ran over to the gym, shoving a few nuts, a cheesestick and some fruit in my mouth on the way over. When I got back I had a salad, and we saw a friend of Emily's in the afternoon. On the way back we stopped at the market and I wanted to get catfish but they only had a little, so I thought I'd add some shrimp to fill. But on our return home there was chaos-lite so I just whipped out the shrimp cocktail and emily and I ate what we could. And that turned out to be dinner. So it was a weird eating day. But it was a great gym day. We also got the "jogging stroller" —so that might open up a whole new world for me and Magnolia. I must remember to join the tennis league for over 40s, too...

Day 90: Three Months Down, The Rest of My Life to Go

It's true that I've got the fever for SoBe, but I still have down days. Days when I'm hungry, or missing some particular thing. I'm noticing that certain activities, like going to the movies, or to carnivals (went today with my brother's kids) center around food that's not really food, but what my father would have called 'junk.' And it is junk, but it has its place in a life, but not mine. But when you're surrounded by cotton candy, popcorn, carmel apples and fried dough you could start to wonder "what the hell I can eat around here?" The best alternative: eat before you go, or load up on portable snacks—cheese sticks and apples. That's what I've been doing. So far, I've been sailing through. It's actually a lesson I learned from taking Ruby to the park—what do I need? Diapers, new pants, etc. Now, I'm thinking about me. Seems selfish, but I guess that's what you've got to do nearly everytime you're planning to be successful.

Breakfast
1 Multi-grain Engish Muffin
2 Tsp Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack
6 oz Vanilla Yoplait (did I mention vanilla has 10 more calories than fruit? I might be ready for plain)
1/2 cup unsalted mixed nuts
1/4 granny smith apple (Ruby bogarted my apple)
1 Cheese Stick

Lunch
Greek Salad with Chicken Cutlet (it was breaded, but I said "what the hell")
Cheese of 2 Slices Pizza

Dinner
Onion-Burger
Pickles
Salad with Feta
1/2 Kosher Hot Dog

No kidding, I ate a lot today. And I thought I was headed to the gym, but instead we headed out for the carnival. It was great fun and I think I might have covered the Domania walk walking around the carnival and the beach. I was hoping for a bike ride when I got home but the rains came. So here's looking at tomorrow.

Day 89

It seems crazy that I'm only at three month mark on the diet, that has turned out to be life-changing event. I want to be so much more than I am, but I am enjoying the becoming. I can tell I am not where I am going to get to, but outside of work, I am having the most fun I've had in quite a while. Knowing I can take the steps, run after Ruby, still have the energy to clean the kitchen, or put a shelf together is giving me quite a bit of 'get up' in the morning. It helps when corduroys that I was going to throw away in February are loose now, even though I must now deal with the reality that I am even shorter than I imagined—not one pair of my new pants is the right length, a fact caused my weight loss. If you've got two hours to kill, you can check out another fat-to-lean story (http://halfmysize.blogspot.com). I lost track, but she had to buy new clothes about every six weeks, and she spent something like $10,000 on new clothes. Of course, I am too lazy to fact check that number, but you can see for yourself.

Breakfast
3/4 Cup of Oatmeal
1 Cup Strawberries
Splenda
Tea

Snack
1/4 Cup of Nuts
Cheese Stick
Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Kicked up Hamburger (with bacon, parsley from Whole Foods)
Greek Salad
Pickles
Peppadew Peppers

Dinner
Cod a la Emily
Broccoli

On reports that oatmeal could keep you going "till lunch" I made up a standard bowl of Quaker Oats this AM. I added some strawberries for flavor, but they were a bit sour so the enterprise was lacking somewhat. The Splenda did the trick though. I am not sure "it did the trick" because I was still hungry by 10:30-10:45, but this could be because I was limited on my portion size (not sure I would have limited it to 3/4 a cup if I wasn't on SoBe. Additionally, I would have added butter, salt and sugar or honey) or because I am just trained to eat a snack between 10 and 11 when I am at work. Skeedaddling out of work early for the long holiday, I took Ruby on a playdate-matinee of "Madagascar" (which is visually pleasing but a dud of a movie) and I had to endure the chomping, savoring, and passing back and forth of popcorn, and varieties of candy including Jedi M&Ms and baby KitKats. This might be the first film I ever went to where there was popcorn and I didn't have any. Not like popcorn is a big bad deal, but it really just goes to show that some changes are more permanent than others. On the down side, I did not get to the gym today, so I must get out there tomorrow.

88 Keys

In a trial run, I took Ruby to school and then went to the gym. My timing isn't right—I got to work late, and that's not good for me because I'm already getting there 'late' as it is. Tomorrow I will experiment with dropping her off earlier—though that's a pay service—and see whether I can still adhere to my existing schedule. On the stationary bike today I found that it wasn't AS hard as it used to be. That was HUGE for me. Instead of feeling like "I'm going to die" or "I can't make it" it's now officially "this is hard." It was at that moment that I realized that what I am building is probably STAMINA that I never had before. That's why I got tired after five minutes of play with Ruby. Now I find I can go the distance—it's just my ADD that gets in the way. But we can work on that later. When I got home and changed into my work clothes, I noticed that my jeans were definitely one size bigger. That is, they had gone from being tight to being useful for easy shoplifting. So, it was a good morning in the sense that I was way into being on the diet. But as usual, exercise makes me VERY HUNGRY. So there was almost an extra meal in there today.

Breakfast
Scrambled Eggs
Turkey Kielbasa
Tea

Snack
1 Cup Strawberries/Blueberries
6 Oz. Yoplait "Lite" Yogurt
1/4 cup mixed, unsalted nuts
1 cheese stick
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Sashimi (3 Tuna, 2 Octopus, 2 Whitefish, 2 Crab)
Salad
Miso Soup

Dinner
Cod a La Emily
Fiddleheads
Asparagus

Dessert
2 Cherries*
1 baby-spoon of mashed banana and oatmeal*

*I literally could not resist or help either of these things from going into my mouth, so I figured I had to write it down.

Whenever I'm at the gym, I thinking a lot about what I would write down about the gym if that's what my blog was about. But if the food-diary of an overweight man is sad, then his musings on what goes on at the JCC might be beyond what anyone could bear. Really, it's quite a scene in there. There are few people under 45 whenever I'm there. I always think that the young people must be there early. The admin at the desk says it gets busy from 6AM to 9AM—then it slows down. I just can't believe that people are getting there at 6AM. Maybe as I mocked exercise and diet, I might one day too find that that's the ticket for me. As it is now, I must get my iPod ready for tomorrow—it's really much harder than I expected it to be. It's really challenging to find 30 minutes of music that I both own and want to work out to. I welcome any suggestions. And then this weekend—it's real oatmeal.

Day 87

The best thing about the SoBe diet for me has been its goal—to lose weight but not to be hungry. I have taken that to heart, and I have lost weight and mostly, I have not been hungry. But there are a few times of hunger discomfort. It's not that I'm hungry and uncomfortable or somehow suffering from that; it's that feeling of just wanting to eat something. I notice it most at night, but I seem to have it lately—and I feel this is kind of sad—when I'm done with dinner. I think it's because that's really it for the night, there's no more. I think that I got to be heavy as I was by eating at all those times I wanted to put something in my mouth—and did. I remember one time specifically, thinking "If I went on a diet I would have to eat salads." I had never approached a diet before as a way of life. Just like quitting smoking; when you're ready, you can do whatever you need to do.

Breakfast
2 Eggs (way overcooked)
2 Strips Jennie O
Tea

Snack
1/4 cup nuts
1 Cheese stick
1 Granny smith (a tribute to my grandmother)

Lunch
Chinese (Split)
Shredded Pork with Peppers & Celery
Sliced Chicken with Spinach
Broth of Wonton Soup

Dinner
Catfish a la Em (with Peppers and shallots)
Broccoli

The combination of going without exercise and feeling hungry was getting me a little bummed out. It seems like just a few weeks ago I was walking, biking, out on the street every weekend riding bikes with Ruby when I got home—just always on the move. But rain has come every weekend and I am not yet adept at finding things for my kids to do that would pass as exercise. In fact, I just got into riding bikes with them. Anyway, I plan to go the gym for two days in a row, tomorrow and Friday, and maybe on Monday—just to make sure I can go to Detecto with a clean conscience.

Agent 86

Once again I am nearing a run-in with detecto and fretting about not be able to get to a Gym or go on walks and now not even the weather is cooperating. Not good. On top of having your schedule be topsy turvy, you could use a break from the weather once in a while. Guess it's not this memorial day.

Breakfast
1 Multi-Grain English Muffin
2 Tsp Peanut Butter (who can really eat 1 Tsp of Peanut Butter anyway?)
Tea

Snakken
1/4 Cup of Nuts (this may be ill-advised, I'll have to rethink)
1 Granny Smith Apple
1 6 oz Strawberry Yoplait "Lite"
1 "Teryaki" Stick

Lunch
Tuna Scoop on Lettuce

Dinner
90% Sirloin Burger with Fried Onions
Banana Peppers
Pickles
Salad with Balsamic Vinegar and Feta

Without having walked this week (and now it's Tuesday) and with each diet turn slightly INCREASING the calorie count, I am not sure I am going in the right direction. I feel somehow like I have plateaued but it's not the diet, it's me. And I think I must get back onto the vegetables program—way too much meat. I like starting to branch out into new foods (like English muffins) but I was stymied this morning as to what put on them. The question is, "Is Peanut Butter better than 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter?'" That's not the question from a taste perspective, but from a medical perspective. ICBINB has 80 calories, 80 of which are from fat. Teddie's Smooth has 190 calories of which 140 are from fat. So is the one with more calories but less from fat better for you?

Day 85: And Now Back to the Show

So the funeral's over and now it's back to Boston, except that in the 48 hours we've lived in Emily's father's house we've totally trashed it. On top of that, the kids have had just terrible, broken sleep, first one, then the other. We are not well rested and frazzled, plus we've got to get it in gear and get the h**l out of dodge.

Breakfast
Three Egg Omlette
Lox
Coffe (with Splenda, Fat Free Milk)

Snack (NJ)
2 Tsp Peanut Butter
4 oz Fat Free Chocolate Yogurt

Snack (Car)
Part of an absolutely terrible apple purchased out of desperation at a bagel shop
1 Cheese Stick
30 Pistachios

Lunch
A few slices of supermarket cold cuts

Dinner
Chilean Sea Bass
Snowpeas
2 Spare Ribs
Chicken Soon (in lettuce-leaf wraps)

Learning from yesterday's mistake, I piled it in before we got on the road, going so far as to eat some non-lite, questionably SoBe friendly yogurt, but I knew it was lots of miles before we got anywhere to eat again. As it turned out, there was very little to eat for me but we had an early Chinese dinner and everybody was happy. Selfishly, I had really wanted to get to the gym this weekend. Needless to say, it did not happen.

84: Funeral Day

Em and I were staying at her Dad's house—where he only rarely stays himself, so there is not very much in the way of SoBe friendly stuff. That is one of the reasons we grabbed two bags of groceries when we headed south. There was hardly any time to get to a market between all the running around, and we ended up getting takeout for dinner (from four places, because it was Emily's dream). I'm just saying, on top of any and all emotional stuff, it was challenging.

Breakfast
1 Cup All-Bran (buds)
1 Cup Strawberries
3/4 Cup Fat Free Milk
Coffee (with Splenda & FFM)

Stuck in a funeral procession, with terribly Low Blood Sugar Snack
20-30 Almonds
30-50 Pistachios

Prior to Lunch Arriving at the Funeral House:
A really old apple.
Three Entirely Cheese Rollmops

Actual Lunch
2 Whitefish Slices
Dollop Whitefish Salad
Dollop Tuna
3 Small Slices, Lox
A dozen olives
slice tomato
canteloupe

Dinner
Steak Slices
Spinach
Broccolli
Chicken Slices
Radishes

This was not a well-planned day, from an eating or SoBe perspective. As a parent I am accustomed to trying to plan my kids days by when they are going to eat. And Emily and I did try to think through what this would mean. But Ruby actually stayed with other relatives, and she carries all the food the baby needs, so we didn't really plan for anything. If you know a funeral is going to start at 12:00, you know you're going to need lunch, don't you? It didn't really hit us until we were on line at the cemetary—Magnolia was screaming and we started looking around the car. We all started eating the nuts like mad, and when the time at the grave site was over, we nearly got lost on the way to my aunt's house, where relatives were being received. There was more screaming, and lots of challenging moments. When we arrived there was no protein, so I was forced to eat cheese rollmops to calm myself down until the fish and fruit plates came. Then there was much rejoicing, and we were able to focus on our sorrow instead of our hunger.

Day 83: Surprise Trip to New York

If there's anything that can throw off your diet, it's a wild change of your life and schedule. On Friday before I left for the game I found out that my grandmother had died. As custom would have it, the burial is to occur within 48 hours. As we are a small family, theat meant a trip to New York. Usually I am not that swift the morning after a card game (when I have been up until all AM hours) and this was no different. As a family, we grabbed everything we could, shoved it in the car, and headed down south. Some of the reportage over the next three days may properly be judged as "loose."

Breakfast
1 Cup All Bran (buds)
1 Cup Strawberries
3/4 cup Fat Free Milk
Tea

Snack
Cheese Stick
Can of Tuna

Lunch
Cobb Salad @ McDonalds

Dinner
1 Hamburger, 1 Hot Dog
Salad
Wedge of Lite Jarlsberg Cheese

I wasn't feeling that great when we got in the car, and you know that three hours en route to a funeral usually doesn't improve things too much. Somewhere along the line, when we abandonded proper nutritional planning, we decided that Ruby loves a McDonald's cheeseburger and we love a break from driving, so we all got our wish. The Caesar looked plain, so I got the Cobb salad, but then I realized that it came with blue cheese, chopped egg and bacon (I ate around most of that stuff). When we got to New York, we were treated to a BBQ dinner—which was yummy, but not very low-fat. The most amazing thing about this dinner was that there were no buns eaten by the hot dog/hamburger crowd. Everyone ate theirs au natural.

Day 82: Another Poker Game

I knew Friday was going to be tough. I had to get up very early, and I knew I was going to be away from any kind of reasonable snack for a long time. Also, I knew I was going to have nuts at the card game so I was careful not to eat any (or any nut products) that day.

Breakfast
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
2 Eggs Over Easy
Tea

Snack
Granny Smith Apple
Vanilla Lite YoPlait
6 Dried Apricots

Poker Mezzo Snack
Olives
More Than 1/4 Cup Mixed, Unsalted Nuts
4 Pepperoni Slices
Peppedew Peppers
Pickles

Dinner
Meatballs Du Swede
Steak Tips
Chicken
Field Greens & Romaine Salad

I had two things going for me going into the card game on Friday. One, I had gone for a brisk walk. Two, I was winning, and it took a lot of my attention to keep all the chips straight. I did go a little crazy on the meat, but I think I ate 25 lbs of salad, so it was OK. I cashed out the big winner, even if I don't lose a whole pound this week.

81- You Can Bench Press? I can withstand Sheet Cake

There are days when you are tested and found wanting. And then there are days like today. I must say that the day started inauspiciously as I broke the yolk on the EXIT of the pan (meaning I had already done the flip once) and the eggs, for the first time ever, were slightly undercooked. But on the big plus side, we had a sheet cake at work to celebrate the launch of a new design of our company web site and I resisted. Sure, that's no big deal, I've resisted dessert plenty of times, and nearly every night at my house someone's eating something delicious. But this sheet cake was big. It had been freshly baked today; and I know just velvety and creamy it was. My vicarious thrill was in the cutting and handing out of pieces to the staff. When everyone was done, I cut it up and put some pieces in the freezer and some in the fridge. The rest went home with people (including two pieces for Ruby and Emily). Some of the staff were justifiably surprised that I was not having any—even a teeny bit. It has been a tradition to have sheet cake to commemorate special events, and I don't feel like changing that because I won't eat any. And I think the size was offputting—it was the full, double-wide sheet cake, but that's really the only size you can get. The alternative (the 8" round) is too small. I was amazed to know that with all the touching of the sheet cake, I never put even a crumb in my mouth. And it was never for lack of wanting. It was just that being in control, and getting to my goal weight is more important than a sheet cake, which I know will be there for me any time I want it in the future. THAT is what me feel like I graduated today; Much of my previous over-indulgence had to do with a carpe diem re: food. If we don't eat this now, we'll never get to. After 30 years of that, I think I'm ready to relax and say "no", occasionally.

Breakfast
Two Eggs, Over Not That Easy
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
Tea

Lunch
Shrimp Caesar Salad

Snack
Granny Smith Apple
1/4 Cup Unsalted Nut Mix
6 oz. Yogurt
1 Cheese Stick

Dinner
Brisket
Red Pepper & Cucumber Salad
Peppedew Peppers

Today I broke my two-day cheese stick embargo, but it was because Emily and I were rushing to a parent-teacher conference, and when I got home I knew I wouldn't get a chance to eat until late and I didn't want to collapse in hunger while discussing Ruby with her teacher. As it turned out, it was for NEXT THURSDAY so all our efforts, including the babysitter, were in vain. We went to Zathmary's (a gourmet takeout place) nearby and had dinner. I have started to think about tomorrow night's poker game, and how I can really reign it in. I will keep thinking.

Day 80—Wigging Out

Today was just one of those days. In the AM I usually try to pick the breakfast according to my time—but Ruby and I woke up late and I decided to have Turkey Bacon & Eggs, which is somewhat time consuming. At work, a few colleagues and I took a road trip to Costco—where we ran into Rich Lane—former head of Domania. When I got back to work, I accidentally caused all of my email to be transferred to a Windows machine. Overall, I was totally unnerved. With a break room full of new snacks, I really had to bite my lip and stay focused, eyes on the prize, not to totally wig out and eat lots of harmful, or even not so harmful things.

Breakfast
Jennie O Tb
2 Eggs O'
Tea

Snack
1/4 Cup of Unsalted Planters Nuts (lots of Brazil nuts today-yum)
1 Apple
6 oz Yoplait lite Blackberry (10 calories less than vanilla)

Lunch
Green Salad
Mediterranean Tuna Salad with Provolone, Red Peppers and Tomatoes.

Dinner
Trout with Red Peppers and Onions
Olives

Definitely a weird eating day. We set out for Costco without a plan to eat lunch and en route back we stopped at Dominics in Waltham. Though they had salads, I didn't know this until I had foolishly ordered a sandwich, planning to eat just the insides. They did have a plain green salad for $2.50 which I ordered. I was so hungry I ate all of everything in the back of the car. It was sad. However I realize that the key to staying on the diet is never letting yourself get too hungry. When that happens, you tend to overeat. When you stay fed all day, you don't feel those crazy swings. If there is anything I remain unapologetic for, it's knowing when I absolutely have to eat something, and I'm sorry if it's embarrassing. This was day two without a cheese stick and I had no apricots, so I'm really trying to be good and restrained. The only problem is that I came home from work and again I was like so hungry I was going to eat the baby. Luckily, I didn't have to. But it was a close one.

Day 79—Just Like Starting Over

So today was good. Went for a brisk walk with the Domania walking gang. Have changed my nut eating habits. I happened to see an ad (I am very responsive to those) touting the "South Beach Diet" on a can of Planters unsalted nuts. I quickly went out to my local market and picked some up. Apparently, you are allowed to have 1/4 cup of the unsalted nut mix per day, so I measured out multiple bags and brought them to work. So bye bye almonds, bye bye pistachios, bye bye cashews. I'm sticking to my nut mix.

Breakfast
Two Slices of Low Carb, Whole Wheat Bread
2 Tsp Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack
1/4 Cup Mixed Unsalted Nuts
6 oz Lite Peach Yogurt
6 Dried Apricots

Dinner
Trout a la Emily
Zucchini slices
Avocado & onion

Dessert
2 Strawberries

We were on our way to Kindergarten orientation and I felt hungry—looking in the fridge I found the strawberries, and I had two. So that was like my first 'dessert course' in quite some time. This was also my first day without a cheese stick, in like, I don't know how long. If I am going to keep losing, I must keep my exercise up and my eating down. Also, I have to get back to drinking water when I am hungry—or having some decaf coffee. But all that water really keeps you from sitting in one place for too long (see have to leave my desk 7 times a day).

And on the 78th Day, Detecto Said "206"

So it's 206. On my journey to lose 30 lbs I have lost 20lbs, but I am afraid that that was the EASY part. Okay, I know I am moving in the right direction, and I am not to get down (except down in weight). I am a little bit bummed out but now I know I must redouble my efforts and stay strict. I must admit that I was getting a bit loosey-goosey in the past two weeks. I had consumer 8 oz of yogurt; 3.5 strips of turkey bacon, and even a french fry. On top of that, I had honey in my tea and I took airborne tablets—which have sucrose in them! Today I started by eliminating pistachios—tomorrow I will see if I can eliminate the almonds (that might be trickier). I think I'm good on the excercise—I was just studying an at-home exercise to work on the stomach. We'll see if I have the discipline to do 10 reps of THAT every day.

Breakfast
1 Cup All-Bran/Grape Nuts
1 Cup Strawberries/Blueberries
3/4 Cup Fat-free milk

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
15 Almonds
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Greek Salad with Chicken Kebab

Dinner
Ground Lean Pork with Fried Onions
Banana Peppers
Pickles
Olives

I will tell you that one significant change I have noticed is that I am much less picky now. I find that I can eat salad without dressing. I can eat apples that I would have refused as being less than perfect. And I can eat the Whole Food Cheese Sticks (which are decidedly second-rate) without a complaint. Well, I'll complain here, but that doesn't count. Also, I've found that my energy is really something. A great example is putting the shelving unit together last night after the kids went to bed. I don't think I would have been up for that kind of thing in the past five years. 10lbs to go! (And after that, probably another 10lbs, but first things first).

Day 77: Sweating It Out

Woke up today with an insatiable desire to go to the gym. Not so much a "I love the burn" but "this must get done before the day is out." As I have noticed, you do get a bit of a pick-me-up, and so I was eager to get it going early in the AM so I could benefit from a day's worth of endorphins, or whatever. I did manage to get there by 12pm—not morning per se, but on Sunday one could be excused. Managed to remember my iPod for the first time—though I am not sure it actually makes the whole experience better. It could also be that I am not in love with any particular music right now—it makes it less meaningful to have it in your ears. I got my heart rate up to 145—which I think is very much in the 'fat burning' mode. According to the life-cycle, I burned 500 calories. I need that if I'm going to see Dr. Detecto tomorrow. I don't feel any lighter—I wouldn't be surprised if the story isn't what I hope for. My aim is 205, and at last weigh-in I was 208.

Breakfast
2 Eggs (Very slippery yolks; they did not survive)
2 Strips TB
Tea

Snack
10 Blackberries
2 Cheese Sticks
15 Almonds
30 Peanuts

Lunch
Tuna Salad

Dinner
1/4 Breast of Chicken
2 Sirloin Steak Tips
Greek Salad with Feta (is that redundant?)

In a fit of Sunday night dementia, I purchased and put together an enormous shelving unit from the Container Store (if you haven't been there, you really owe it to yourself to go). This is my third unit I'm trying—the two others from Home Depot have just absolutely stank. This one, you can tell is very sturdy. After about and hour and half, I had it together, everything in the basement on it, and the other dismantled and the floor cleaned up. Second time in one day I broke a sweat. I really wanted dessert, for the first time in quite a while. But not the night before weigh in! I'm not sure when I, Plath-like, will wade into the dessert waters with rocks in my pockets, but it wasn't tonight.

76 Trombones

Every Saturday is a chance to veer off into the diet wilderness. The day, as with the diet, starts with planning. Some days I have come close to not remembering everything I ate—I realize that when you can't keep track of everything that went in your mouth, you've stopped caring. So I sum up everything I might eat; and I make a mental note of everything I do eat. SoBe, unlike Weight Watchers does not specify portion size (except for a few things like Turkey Bacon) so that's a whole headache I don't concern myself with. There is a built-in "uh-oh" meter, that tells you if you're going to back for thirds of something, you've probably had enough.

Breakfast
1 Cup All-Bran/Grape Nuts mix
1/2 Cup Blueberries
3/4 Cup fat-free milk

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
30 Peanuts
6 oz "Lite" Vanilla YoPlait

Lunch
Roll Mop: Roast Beef, Turkey Swiss
Pickles
Salad: Romaine Lettuce

Dinner (Chinese)
2 Spare Ribs
1 Steak Teryaki
Eggplant with Garlic Sauce
Shrimp with Chinese Cucumber


Today's roll-mops were absolutely awful. I am totally off roast beef. I think I can only eat ham from now on. I think the less said on the topic, the better. Lastly, one of my best tricks for staying on the diet is to brush my teeth following dinner (en route to putting kids to bed). This does kill a lot of desire to snack, and that's when the urge creeps up on me. I have some licorice tea instead.

Day 75

With the spring oncoming, I am certainly glad that I do not feel compelled to cover myself with layers, or get loose, ill-fitting clothing. However, I do feel that the longer days and warm weather are making me HUNGRY. I'm not sure what it is, whether I'm just getting used to all the foods, meals and snacks that I am eating, but somehow I am still hungry at work. This is worrisome. Today I had a big breakfast and got to work very late (after lunch) but was still hungry—I had an apple, 30 pistachios and 2 dried apricots. I was still looking for other stuff to eat then I had a cheese stick. At the point I knew I had to be stopped so I tried to drink a lot of water and chew some gum, but it was no use, I was still hungry. I came home and ate my house. Well not really, but I did eat a lot of Talapia.

Breakfast
1.5 Cup of Fruit: Canteloupe; Blueberries and Strawberries
15 Almonds
6 oz. "Lite" Vanilla YoPlait
~1/8 Cup Grape Nuts

Snack
Cheese Stick (Whole Foods Cheese sticks do not stand up to Horizon)
15 Almonds
30 Pistachios
1 Apple (you know what kind)

Lunch
Greek Salad with Feta Cheese and Grilled Chicken
1 French Fry (!)

Dinner
Tilapia a la Emily
Spinach with Garlic 'n' pinenuts
Avocado with Onions, Lime and Olive Oil

Yes it's true, dear readers, I had a french fry today. I had been enlisted to help get food for the movers (I was at David's in the AM) and when the food came ready, there it was, a big bag of yummy fries hot off the fryolator. I decided that it was time for first french fry in 74 days. It tasted good—but not so good that I had to have another one. It was what I remembered, and then I was able to go back to my salad and really enjoy it. Is that self-control? If so, it's new to me.

What will Detetco think of the french fry?

Day 74

On top of everything I have a cold, or am being overtaken by allergies. It's hard to tell. Today I actually added some honey to my tea, just so I could have a little relief. I wonder if that played havoc with my insulin. I have also found myself dreaming of summer treats, mostly August corn on the cob. I believe if things are shaping up I might have me a few of those. As for white bread (sub rolls, and the like) I think they're out of my life for good, but I find it really hard to believe that I might never eat an Italian Sub or Steak-v-cheese again. Maybe when I visit Ruby in college.

Breakfast
2 Eggs Over Easy* (see more, below)
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
Tea
2 Tsp Peanut Butter

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
20 Peanuts
15 Almonds
30 Pistachios (wow, that's a lot of nuts)
1 Apple (G.smith)
3 dried apricots

Lunch
Tuna Salad on Lettuce, Broccoli and Tomato (no dressing)

Dinner
Pink Fish a la Emily (I forgot what it was called, like Honker Sea Trout or something)
Asparagus


I noticed that Planters has a "south beach" mix on the market called "nut-trition." These marketing people think of everything! There is also supposedly a South-Beach Diet line of frozen meals, but I have yet to see it. I am ready to give my money to the enterprise, though I am certain they taste very, very bad.

*As to Amy's Egg trick—not really a trick, just a collection of tips that have worked for me when so many other things had failed. Like many other longtime readers, she was frustrated by having to read about how often I flunked eggs 101. So she watched me make them and worked with me to correct my bad habits:

First—we used olive oil instead of PAM (still South Beach friendly)
Second—we heated up the pan a LOT more than I was doing.
Third—we didn't futz with the eggs—we let it get bubbly all on its own, only using the spatula to make sure the edges weren't sticking (I was constantly using the spatula to scratch around albumeny parts to make sure the white was all cooked)
Fourth—flip the eggs by putting the spatula under the thickly cooked white part of the eggs
Fifth—turn off the heat quickly after flipping.

I have used this technique most days and so far it has never failed me yet.

73 Days of the Condor

I talk a lot about what the 'hardest part' of this or that day is, but one of the overall hardest things on the diet (or way of life) is to not try new things. After I hit my goal weight, I may go back to my trailblazing ways, but until then I have resisted trying all kinds of things that I would love, from Crawfish Monica to different types of Pizza. I must be careful because in my opinion, that's how I got to be overweight in the first place—a desire to eat one of everything on the planet.

Breakfast
2 Slices "When Pigs Fly" Low Carb, Whole-Wheat Bread
2 Tsps Peanut Butter
Tea

Snack
6 oz. Vanilla Yoplait Yogurt
15 Almonds
20 Peanuts
5 Slices of Jarlsberg "Lite"
1 coffee nip

Lunch (Split)
Pork with Shredded Cabbage and Peppers
Sliced Chicken with Spinach

Dinner
Ribs
Greek Salad
Sugar Snap Peas

Clothes 'recidivism.' I am slowly getting rid of clothes that no longer fit and that are truly, just awful. Even though I am enjoying my new chapter of life as a clothes-horse, I do occasionally long for the t-shirt, sweatshirt and jeans. The combination of spring and new clothes has meant that I have been dressing up usually for work, and usually it's fun, but the whole coordination of clothes, pants, shirts, shoes, it's a lot for me. I may have to just pick a uni-outfit and wear that every day. Lastly, I am starting to think about weigh-in. It is lurking. A rainy weekend will almost certainly send me to the gym.

Day 72

Went for a very fast walk today; I was in front for a while, but at about the half way point I felt myself starting to fall back again—I'm not sure I finished in back, and I don't think we beat any time estimates, but it felt fast. Brisk, even. I am actually now starting to think about my walks—and trips to the gym—like something I have to do. I can see having a weekend visitor and saying "I've got to go to the gym—I'll be back in an hour." I guess something is crazy happening to me.

Breakfast
2 Eggs (again perfect)
2 Strips JennieO
Tea

Snack of the Sith
2 cheese sticks
15 Almonds
30 Pistachios
1 gs apple
3 dried apricots

Lunch
Salad with no dressing, Tuna

Dinner
Chicken a la Emily (fantastic)
Zuchini (not as much so)
Sugar Snap Peas

Mezzo Dinner
Meat of 1 Rib

At my begging, Emily shopped for me today to get me a new pair of shoes and a belt (one of mine is no longer working).
She did such a great job that I am never again going to shop for myself if I can talk her into doing it. It just made me realize the whole thing about getting new clothes. You really won't buy new clothes for yourself unless YOU ARE DESPERATE or have lost a lot of weight on a diet. With a few exceptions, I think every pair of my pants had jagged, ripped cuffs. But at 226 lbs, you don't really want to try stuff on, and when you do, nothing looks good. Plus when you get winded just trying on pants, it's a sign that you really need to get control of your life. I kid you not, I was out of breath just from changing pants. Now I'm getting excited about all that stuff, and if I hit my goal weight (whether July or shortly thereafter) I am sure I will continue to enjoy it. It's great, because it really makes me feel a lot better about the looming 40-ness of it all.

Day 71: Adventures in Dinerese

If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your
work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming
impossibilities.— Dale Carnegie

Today I resisted having eggs for breakfast for some unknown reason—it may have been because I didn't want to push my perfect egg luck—but had fruit and cereal instead. It turned out to be a good thing because a coworker and I went to lunch but it was so terribly cold that we had to duck into the first place we could, which was a diner. Of course, I knew I would be having eggs, but she asked if "there was anything you can eat here?" I said yes, then proceeded to hork down everything on the plate.

Breakfast
1 Cup All-Bran Buds (made with High Fructose Corn Syrup)
1 Cup Strawberries and Ass't blueberries Ruby didn't eat
3/4 Cup Fat free Milk

Snack
15 Almonds
1 Cheese Stick
1 Granny Smith Apple
30 Pistachios
3 Dried Apricots

Lunch
Broccoli and Cheese Omelet
Side of Linguica (Two sausages, I ate one)

Dinner
90% Sirloin Burger
Fried Onions
Banana Peppers

I think alot about the question I get most—"do you cheat?" I think the answer overall is no, even though I think I cheat when I eat something and forget to write it down (the other day I had a slice of deli meat in the supermarket and forgot to write it down—felt quite bad about that). I feel like to cheat is to cheat myself. I believe I have written that here in these pages. On other diets, when I have been dieting for someone else, the cheating was for ME. This time, the diet is for ME, so cheating wouldn't be for ME. That isn't to say that I haven't thought about what I would have on my birthday (probably Chinese food) or what I would eat if I wasn't on the diet, but I am. What's really amazing is how little I think about sweets or chocolate or bread. In fact, I noticed that for 71 days I haven't made pancakes, french toast or waffles for Ruby, which is probably a shame because she likes them but probably not a shame because she doesn't need them any more than I do.

Day 70: Learn How to Breathe

One of my problems with exercise from the very beginning was my inability to coordinate different parts of my body doing different things at the same time. For instance, I am nearly retarded in ability to do a jumping-jack—I just can't do it right. So it should not be surprising to readers that coordinating certain other things like breathing while swimming, or other exercising has always been a challenge. Aside from low self-confidence and a bit of klutziness, I think that was a contributing factor to my avoidance of most exercise—I didn't get a thrill out of it as much as I realized I was probably working harder than other people and not getting the maximum benefit because I wasn't doing it right. As I walked around the track this afternoon, after doing 35 minutes on the exer-cycle, I realized I may just be slowing down enough to be able to breathe AND exercise at the same time. It's amazing what you can do when you concentrate.

Breakfast
3 (!) Strips Jennie-O Turkey Bacon (something is wrong with my math that I always have the wrong number of pieces left)
2 Eggs Over Easy—Done Perfectly (thanks Amy)
Tea
1 Tsp Peanut Butter

Snack
Lite Jarlsberg
Granny Smith Apple
4 Strawberries
8 oz "Lite" Peach Yogurt
20 Peanuts

Lunch
Tuna Salad
Broccolli
Banana Peppers

Dinner
Talapia a la Emily with Fiddleheads

Felt like a HUGE eating day, but I always feel so hungry after being at the gym. I am starting to get interested in the other machines there and very soon may get on one of those stairmaster things. I also walked around the track 10 times, and realized that it wasn't so bad without music (I used to think I wouldn't be able to do it without music). I realize now that nearly everything I thought about both diet and exercise was wrong. No matter how good I feel when people say I look good, or whatever, the bottom line is that this has been a very, very humbling experience.

Day 69

I may have managed to acclimate myself to life on a regimen, but sometimes it's hard. Today Ruby wanted Pappagino's Pizza for lunch. I had hoped to take her to the 50's Diner in Dedham, which is quite yummy, but the way things go with kids, it was much more practical to get her a few slices and there was one very close to where we were going (Toys R Us—for a High Chair for Magnolia). I got her her slices and surveying the menu I found it quite nearly devoid of anything I wanted to eat, let alone SoBe friendly. Out of desperation I ordered the Chicken Caesar, which was first delivered without chicken. The counter guy asked me in broken English if I wanted my Chicken 'grilled." I said OK. The white things featuring grill marks that appeared on my salad are among the most curious and least edible things I have ever faced down on a plate. I will tell you that nearly all of them landed on the tray with the unwanted croutons, unwanted cheese sticks and 1 whole pizza crust-bottom, minus its cheese. It was a very slight lunch, and It was a sickening announcement of Pappagino's inability to produce anything edible other than their pizza, and I would say that that's a case-by-case basis decision. I think their slogan is "passionate about pizza" but you could add "...and pitiful at everything else."

Breakfast
Fruit Cup—Papaya, Strawberries, Blueberries, Blackberries
6 oz Yoplait (it's not bad)
Tea

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
15-20 Almonds
Olives
Light Jarlsberg Wedges
Ham slices

Lunch
Salad (no dressing)
1 Slice of Cheese Pizza (minus the bread-part; I would have licked off the tomato sauce if I thought I could have lived with myself).

Dinner
Sirloin Tips
Broccoli

While making the sirloin tips, I cut a nice small circle of the tip of my finger off. Its continuous bleeding forced me to keep it on ice, elevated and slathered in triple ointment. It's also making it impossible to type. So more tomorrow.

Day 68: Another Week Done

This morning I continued to take the SoBe advice: "eat different foods." The advice is meant to keep you from falling into a rut, both from a dietary and nutritional standpoint. I suppose if your body continues to experience things, it doesn't relax, like how you get less and less of an effect the more you take of a substance, like say alcohol. I started this AM with Wheatabix, the English cereal that essential baby pablum in the shape of biscuits. I couldn't resist them at Bread & Circus, and besides, they're all natural. I compared them to All-Bran and noted to my horror, that All-Bran contains high fructose corn syrup. This healthy food is going to kill me! I also bought another kind of vanilla yogurt; I was eating 8oz at a clip—seems silly when EVERY other kind of yogurt on the market has a 6 oz variety. We'll see how "YoPlait" is.

Breakfast
Wheatabix (2 Biscuits)
1 Cup Strawberries/Blueberries
3/4 Cup Fat Free Milk
Tea

Snack
30 Pistachios
15 Almonds
6 Dried Apricots
1 Cheese Stick
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Chicken Kebab
Greek Salad (The tomatoes were awful)

Dinner
Salad with Fried Onions, Tuna, Almonds, Feta


I do feel like I'm eating more during the day, but I think largely I am eating FAR less in the evening. I suppose I can consider myself successful if I am shifting my eating, even if it doesn't change significantly, from the evening where it's most damaging to the afternoon, when metabolism is high. I feel good that I got out on three walks and hopefully a trip to the gym this weekend (the rain is a big bummer for wanting any outside bike time). I am still eating a lot of nuts, but with the brief exception of one coconut macaroon, have continued my foreswearance of chocolate. I am concerned about the equation of losing 1lb a week until July—that seems hard, especially because I don't think I'm feeling hungry enough to be losing that much. Again, the scale will tell the story.

Day 67

As we head into spring, and the weather is more favorable for walks, I am eager to go on more of them. We have gone on three this week. I'm not sure we can keep up this schedule, but I will enjoy while it lasts. I hope that more exercise equals continued weight loss—I realize I am feeling more often compelled to eat when I'm not really thinking about it, instead of staying hungry. I need to watch that—endless nibbling is not good.

Breakfast
Turkey Bacon (2 Strips)
1 Egg Over with Lite Havarti
1 Egg That Broke
Tea
1 Tsp Peanut Butter (I was cleaning out the jar for recycle)

Snack
30 Pistachios
15 Almonds
1 Cheese Stick
1 Apple
12 Roasted Edamame

Lunch
3 Roll Mops
1 Head Romaine
Pickles

Appetizer
Shrimp Cocktail(!)

Dinner
Catfish
Sugar Snap Peas

When I came home, Emily had an appetizer of Shrimp cocktail for me. This was quite a surprise, as we never have appetizers and are much too young for cocktail hour. But I could tell from the lengthening hours of daylight that dinner will be delayed because of how difficult it is to get Ruby to come in from the park so I had it. Then dinner had sugar snap peas (which are on the SoBe terror watch list) AND Beets, which are definitely a no-no. Ruby didn't want her beets, and I was extremely unhelpful in getting her to comply as I had to turn mine down too. It was a bad night for beet lovers.

Get Your Kicks on Day 66

I am getting quite a bit of counsel about how, if I now begin to exercise, I may replace fat with muscle, and since muscle weighs more than fat, I might start to see less weight loss happening. I don't think I'm in danger of gaining so much muscle that I offset my weight loss, and it has been my uninformed opinon that I had enough weight to lose that I would be able to hit my goal without much difficulty from the muscles. But we'll see. I have for several cycles thought I had hit a plateau, but still netted a loss at weigh in. Even though I'm trying hard to put too much stock in the numbers, I have been able to stay dedicated to the diet (and now the exercise) in part because I'm thinking of it in two week cycles, not a lifetime.

Breakfast
1 Cup All Bran Buds
1 Cup Strawberries
3/4 Cup Fat-Free Milk

Snack- Nutopia
15 Almonds
30 Pistachios
10 Peanuts
5 Roasted Fava Beans
2 Cheese Sticks

Lunch
Tuna Salad
on Lettuce, Tomato, Cucumber, Broccoli (no dressing)

Dinner
Shrimp with Garlic
Snowpeas
Fried Onions

I have been on two walks this week at work, and I continue to break a sweat. Everyone in the walking group is talking about how to lengthen the walk. Meanwhile, I am still trying to keep up with them, constantly trailing. But as they have noted, I can now field a phone call without running out of breath, so that's a big improvement. I've also noticed my ability to get down on the floor with Ruby and Magnolia when I get home has also improved significantly, so there's something. Now if I could only beat the swooning when I smell french fries...

Get Your Kicks on Day 66

I am getting quite a bit of counsel about how, if I now begin to exercise, I may replace fat with muscle, and since muscle weighs more than fat, I might start to see less weight loss happening. I don't think I'm in danger of gaining so much muscle that I offset my weight loss, and it has been my uninformed opinon that I had enough weight to lose that I would be able to hit my goal without much difficulty from the muscles. But we'll see. I have for several cycles thought I had hit a plateau, but still netted a loss at weigh in. Even though I'm trying hard to put too much stock in the numbers, I have been able to stay dedicated to the diet (and now the exercise) in part because I'm thinking of it in two week cycles, not a lifetime.

Breakfast
1 Cup All Bran Buds
1 Cup Strawberries
3/4 Cup Fat-Free Milk

Snack- Nutopia
15 Almonds
30 Pistachios
10 Peanuts
5 Roasted Fava Beans
2 Cheese Sticks

Lunch
Tuna Salad
on Lettuce, Tomato, Cucumber, Broccoli (no dressing)

Dinner
Shrimp with Garlic
Snowpeas
Fried Onions

I have been on two walks this week at work, and I continue to break a sweat. Everyone in the walking group is talking about how to lengthen the walk. Meanwhile, I am still trying to keep up with them, constantly trailing. But as they have noted, I can now field a phone call without running out of breath, so that's a big improvement. I've also noticed my ability to get down on the floor with Ruby and Magnolia when I get home has also improved significantly, so there's something. Now if I could only beat the swooning when I smell french fries...

Day 65

Felt like a big eating day. I am beginning to fret about not getting back to the gym. Also, the toll of returning to the work week takes some getting used to. In retrospect it felt like going on vacation was instantly easy but the truth is that that takes some getting used to as well.

Breakfast
1 Broken Egg (broken from shell, not pan) 1 Together One
2 Strips Turkey Bacon
Tea
1 Tsp Peanut Butter

Snack
15 Almonds
1 Granny Smith Apple
12 Roasted Fava Beans
30 Pistachios
6 Strawberries

Lunch
3 Roll-Mops (Ham with Havarti)
1 Head Romaine
Pickles

Dinner
Chinese Pork Loin
Spinach with Garlic

For the first time in quite a while (not counting the night before my return to work) I started to crave some dessert. I think it might be that the days are longer, that dieting means hunger, or that I'm still depressed about Constantine being voted off American Idol. In any case, I stuck with my new post-dinnertime ritual, a cup of Egyptian Licorice Tea. I may have said it already, but not eating between dinner and bed is now, and will probably remain my biggest challenge. It's also probably one of the reasons I am able to keep losing weight. Over the vacation I bought a lot of new clothes. Amazingly I realized today that I might not mind the coming of the Spring if I can lose the weight I want, maybe I won't mind doffing my jacket. For a long time I loved jacket season and detested beach season. I'm not sure I'm going to be running for the beach the summer, but I might be tempted to play a little volleyball if the tide is right....

When I'm 64: Detecto Says "208"

Let the news ring thoughrout the land. I am at 208, having lost three more pounds on the way to my goal of 196. Only 12 pounds stand between me and victory, and I must get there is a mere 11 weeks. Will I make it? I'll need to lose a pound a week–or slightly better to do it. The weigh in on the week of July 23rd will tell the tale. I know it's not about the scale, but it's good to have measurable results. In 3lbs I'll be at the same weight I was 12 years ago at my brother's wedding—before I lost 30lbs on Weight Watchers. Well you can't call me a yo-yo dieter.

Breakfast
1 Cup All Bran Buds
1 Cup Strawberries
8 oz "Lite" Vanilla Yogurt

Snack-ums
1 Cheese Stick
15 Almonds
20 Peanuts
30 Pistachos
1 Granny Smith Apple
6 Dried Apricots

Lunch
Chicken K-Bob
Greek Salad

Dinner
90% Sirloin Burger
Fried Onions
Banana Peppers
Pickles
Asparagus

It does feel good to be winning the war against fat. And there's no doub that I feel better, (apparently) look better and am less discouraged. It's funny, but no matter how energetic you are, being heavy means you're less likely to do something that requires energy, like bend down to pick something up or shop for groceries, or play a game with your kid. WIth less on the bones, you feel like you actually have more energy. In a sad note though, I looked at pictures from Jill's party and I thought I looked heavy. Damn it! It's not that I don't think I look better, it's that I want to look thin. Has Hollywood finally gotten to me?

Day 63: Vacation Over, Passover Over, Weekend Over

There isn't enough cookie dough and pork fat in the world to quench the unquenchable desire to feed my anxiety with food. It is so common that that you spend much of your vacation a cranky, unspooling mess until the last few days, when you really hit your groove, know what you want to accomplish, and really start lightening up and enjoying the experience. Why that happens only at the end I'll never know. But it's happened to me and as I find myself in the last august evening before school starts again, I can only fret with dissapointment over opportunities missed, and the like. You are never more far off from your next vacation then at the end of the current one. In so many ways it is a sad, sad place to be, and if this was 64 days ago, I would be eating my way through this Sunday night like you read about. In fact, I'm almost certain that the "jaws of life" would have to be employed to get me out in the morning to kayak to work.

Breakfast
Strawberries
Almonds
8 oz. "Lite" Yogure

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
30 Pistachios
1 Chinese Pork Loin Strip
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Breast of Chicken
Blue Ribbons "Big Green Salad"

Dinner
1 Rib, 1 Piece of BBQ Chicken (no skin)
Grilled Asparagus
Fried Onions

After Dinner:
Sleep Enhancers.

To add to the 'first day back to work' woes, I must report to weigh in tomorrow and see if I was able to continue the losing streak—would my week of playing tennis and riding the stationary bike pass for three walks? We'll see if I have to back to Phase One or just start buring more calories. Today I rode my bike around the park four times—I didn't break a sweat, but I did feel part of my body wake up from their 20 year slumber. I can only hope that I get the excercise bug before I get down on my life—I saw some pictures taken of me from the party—and I thought "Oh my God, I still look fat." OF COURSE I LOOK FAT I WEIGH OVER 200 LBS!!!! But it has helped me find a little perspective on things. It's the witching hour, so I must go.

Day 62: Jill's Party Loometh

Today is the big fete for Jill—I have spent much of the past few weeks thinking about it, and planning it. As I write this we are going to be nearly 1 hour late because our children are really—how can I say it—not cooperating. Today, with the knowledge that I might be faced with a lot of yummy, non-SoBerific food, I have tried to eat accordingly today. I didn't really succeed (the morning started with nearly twice my ration of turkey bacon) but I did try.

Breakfast
Two Eggs (Successfully delivered, though I for the first time I actually threw away a broke-yolk after I cracked it and started again)
Three and 1/2 Strips Turkey Bacon
Tea

Snack
1 Cheese Stick
30 Pistachios
15 Almonds
1 Granny Smith Apple

Lunch
Greek Salad with Tuna

Pre-Dinner
Yogurt with Strawberries

Party Dinner
Blue Ribbon BBQ- Ribs, Burnt Ends
Salad
Pickles
Mixed Nuts

At Jill's party I did manage to eschew all the torments: alcohol, corn bread and sheet cake. Having a my pre-dinner allowed me to manage my hunger so I wasn't ravenous and out of control when I go there. Having worked at Domania for so long allowed me to understand the yummy quality of the amazing sheet cake (a golf tableau with pugs) from Icing on the Cake and skip eating any of it. I grabbed a handful of mixed salted nuts and that was my dessert. By the time shots came up, I was nursing my club soda. It was a great party, and I left without any real diet slippage.